Ellie May
Well-known member
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
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Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
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Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
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If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
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Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
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Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
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Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
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Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
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Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
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Why is the man who invests all your money, called a broker?
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Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
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Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food? There is fish flavored!
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Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
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Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
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Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
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Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
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Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?
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If all is not lost, where is it?
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?
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Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
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Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
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Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
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If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
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If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
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Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
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You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
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You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
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If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
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Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
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Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
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Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
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If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
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Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
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Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
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Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
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If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty liter?
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How did a fool and his money get together?
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Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
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If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
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How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
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Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
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If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
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What's another word for thesaurus?
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Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
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What do they use to ship styrofoam?
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When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
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Why is abbreviation such a long word?
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Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
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Does fuzzy logic tickle?
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What was the best thing before sliced bread?
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Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
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"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted."
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What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
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If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
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Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
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Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
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If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
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If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
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What's another word for thesaurus?
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Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
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Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
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If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
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If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
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Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
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Is it possible to be totally partial?
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
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If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
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Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
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How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America
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If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway
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If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
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Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
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Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
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If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
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If "Q" were castrated, would he become "O"?
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If Superman could stop bullets with his chest, why did he always duck when someone threw a gun at him?
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Isn't Disney World a people trap run by a mouse?
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Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
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Where does the fire go when the fire goes out?
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What's another word for Thesaurus?
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What's another word for synonym?
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So what's the speed of dark?
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Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
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If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
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Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
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Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
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Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or file name"?
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Why is it that in the US:
If you take off all your clothes and walk down the street waving a machete and firing an Uzi, terrified citizens will phone the police and report: "There's a naked person outside!"
Ellie May
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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is the man who invests all your money, called a broker?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food? There is fish flavored!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If all is not lost, where is it?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty liter?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How did a fool and his money get together?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's another word for thesaurus?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do they use to ship styrofoam?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's another word for thesaurus?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Is it possible to be totally partial?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If "Q" were castrated, would he become "O"?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Superman could stop bullets with his chest, why did he always duck when someone threw a gun at him?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Isn't Disney World a people trap run by a mouse?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Where does the fire go when the fire goes out?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's another word for Thesaurus?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's another word for synonym?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So what's the speed of dark?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or file name"?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is it that in the US:
If you take off all your clothes and walk down the street waving a machete and firing an Uzi, terrified citizens will phone the police and report: "There's a naked person outside!"
Ellie May
