What'd he say?

[SBMF 2015]

I love sale barns and auctioneers. I've listened to some of the best auctioneers in the world and some that are not so great, but one thing they all have in common is the Spin. A catch phrase if you will for those less desirable cattle that are always part of a sale.
So, what are those great lines you hear at the sale barns you frequent? Here's a few of my favorites;

Overly thin bred cows in March - " Oh,what that green green grass will do"

Unweaned unvaccinated feeder bulls - "Their green boys, never seen a knife or needle"

Bred cows trying to jump out of the ring or kill someone - " It's just her first trip to town boys"

Breeding bull trying to jump out of the ring - "He's just excited to go home and work for you"

Breeding bull with a lot of stretch - " He's long as a well rope, strong as an axe handle "

I buy a few one & done cows I always wait for the "Jack pot pen " at the end of the sale for the best deals.

 

[Buck Randall]

Thin bred cow - "She gives it all to her calf, boys. She's just hungry." Also, "She came straight to town in her work clothes."

Unweaned, unvaccinated calves - "Just the way God made 'em."

 

[TCRanch]

I was a little mortified when we sold Steamroller and he said "Folks, she's never missed a meal". And that was after she lost almost 300 lbs, down to a svelte 2060.

 

[greybeard]

limping cow... "She's got a little gimp in her gitalong but she'll heal up and be a real calf maker!"

 

[Ky hills]

At registered sales in response to running in the ring like a freight train and butting the panels behind the bid spotters, well she was fine out in the pens earlier, or she's never been to town before, get her home she'll settle down.
Another registered sale comment, in regards to a smaller or thinner animal. Boys the only thing wrong with her is she's young and I promise you she's gonna get over it.
At a stockyards during a regular sale day. Boy's theys the right kind they green and got some grow in em.
A surprise comment from a regular sale day when a known traders calves came in the auctioneer said well fellas these are hard cattle they ain't had nothin might have had a little the day they were born but nothin since.

 

[Ebenezer]

It's how you tell 'em. This almost brought back almost a case of PTSD of why I hate registered sales and bull test sales! Is there a way to grade % lying?

 

[chaded]

Unvaccinated- "All natural folks, put them on your own system."

Hair missing in winter- "The hair will grow back." The way he says it cracks me up.

Blind/eye issue- "We got a black haired, blue eye beauty." Someone once bought one of these while bidding online and had no clue what he meant, actually thought it was good (they didnt sound like they had much experience with cattle). They picked it up and when they got home they found out And wasnt happy.

 

[kenny thomas]

One of the best auctioneers I ever seen sell in this region died this week. Bill Edds. When he was younger he was bad to drink and sometimes would get pretty cranked up late at night. He would auction so fast.that you had to watch every second to know what the bid was. But you could watch the price go up when his turn to sell came.
One night I ask who was bidding against me on a cow and he quickly replied it was just him and me and I just bought her. I will miss him.

 

[MurraysMutts]

You can't kill that one with a hammer boys!

Sunshine and time....

 

[kenny thomas]

I buy the thin rough calves that I can make look better and the auctioneer will say this is your kind when one somes in the ring. Sometimes he gets hung running the price up and he will ask whoever is buying that type if that was their bid. Buyer always says yes.

 

[Ky hills]

If you spend much time at a particular stockyards you learn who's who. Certain types of cattle come in and the auctioneer will say where's so and so this is his kind right here.
One day a thin old cow with horns came in, auctioneer says what's that say the weight is, it don't seem right, horns must weigh good.
At registered sale the auctioneer would break into a serious tone right before the last lots sold. He would boys the sale is about over and I see some of ye here without your wives. Now they know you were coming here today, and if any of them call me and ask if I saw you at the sale, and you didn't buy anything, I'm gonna tell her I ain't seen ye.

 

[shaz]

Bunch of Charolais came in the ring and the old man selling them said "That's them white angus".

 

[Ouachita]

"Ain't no friends at auction".

 

[greybeard]

"Ain't no friends at auction".

I know that's right. My sister was bidding one day and someone up above was raising her bid each time. Looked up a few rows of seats and it was our father...

 

[Ouachita]

Auctions are entertaining. If I don't plan to buy anything, I still like going for my selfish amusement.

 

[shaz]

Some of those buyers are territorial as hell

 

[kenny thomas]

Some of those buyers are territorial as hell

You are exactly right. I stopped at a sale recently where the calves were much cheaper than here and I personally knew one of the bigger buyers. I mentioned I might go back another time and get a couple gooseneck loads. I was told they wouldn't be that cheap if i.come back. Buyers sometimes overpay to keep a new buyer from coming back.

 

[MurraysMutts]

I get a kick out of the one guy that shows up just every now and then!

He don't care. He just don't care!
He bids until the bidding stops. When he comes to the sale, he comes to buy. Makes me wish I had my animals there that day.

"Come to the auction now"
"Ya'll just fooling around"

 

[greybeard]

I get a kick out of the one guy that shows up just every now and then!

He don't care. He just don't care!
He bids until the bidding stops. When he comes to the sale, he comes to buy. Makes me wish I had my animals there that day.

"Come to the auction now"
"Ya'll just fooling around"

Maybe he works for the salebarn..... Nah, that would never happen.

 

[BFE]

A pen of angus bulls run through, buyer choice " I know which one I'd take boys, the black one".

An old horse trader I know bought a good looking mare at a sale. Auctioneer just said she don't look so good. Clyde figured it out when he went to load her.