What To Do?

[I luv herfrds]

Our cousin is going through a really nasty divorce.
Well the hubby has been asked to come to the court hearing on the 10th. He has been asked to take the kids somewhere after they talk to the judge.

We are trying to think of things to have him do with them to take their minds off what is going on.
I have suggested an awesome ice cream store. He is thinking of taking them to a 4-wheeler store.
Now since they are not our kids we need some other places suggested.
Any ideas???

They have been raised more in town then anything else.

 

[bigbull338]

well now you ask a good q.id take them out to eat an talk to them.maybe take them to an equipment dealer to look at equipment.is there a livestock sale that day.i loved taking my neices an nephews to the sales.even tho they grew up on the dairy.

 

[farmwriter]

How old are the kids? That'll make a big difference in what's fun and what's easiest on the grown-up.

 

[upfrombottom]

A skating rink or bowling alley is always good especially if grandpa does it with them, just be sure you don't have much to do for the next few day's until you heal.

 

[1982vett]

Have several general ideas or choices ready, but probably wait till after the talk with the judge and ask them what they want to do. That is the "I don't make plans because they always get messed up anyway so what's the use" part of me talking.

 

[I luv herfrds]

Farmwriter one is 11 and one is 9. Both boys.

 

[farmwriter]

9 and 11 are old enough to help make the call, then. Dealerships, stockyards, burgers, arcade. Even kids who aren't avid readers can kill time looking at magazines in a bookstore.

 

[dieselbeef]

fishin..park...museum...carnival if in town....railroad stuff...

 

[Kingfisher]

Our cousin is going through a really nasty divorce.
Well the hubby has been asked to come to the court hearing on the 10th. He has been asked to take the kids somewhere after they talk to the judge.

We are trying to think of things to have him do with them to take their minds off what is going on.
I have suggested an awesome ice cream store. He is thinking of taking them to a 4-wheeler store.
Now since they are not our kids we need some other places suggested.
Any ideas???

They have been raised more in town then anything else.

Go buy a couple of good kites. Your on your own after that

 

[I luv herfrds]

kingfisher in all this snow???

Thanks for the suggestions.

 

[Alice]

Bless their sweet hearts...they're old enough to know what is going on, and how bad it's all gonna hurt.

Tell your husband to take them to your home...neutral territory. Ask the kids if they want to rent a movie...and get some microwave popcorn...or candy bars, or whatever they'd like to munch on.

Don't make a big production out of anything...they've been thru enough big productions, I would just bet.

And tell your husband that if one of them wants to pause the movie to ask questions, or talk...he needs to. If the other doesn't...hey, he'll watch right thru any conversation.

Right now, they just need to feel safe and secure...and they don't need to feel pressured about anything AT ALL!

Alice

 

[Kingfisher]

kingfisher in all this snow???

Thanks for the suggestions.

You have snow?!? Well that makes it even better..........who says you cant fly a kite with snow on the ground?
Make a snowman. Let em drive the car in the field in the snow! Most kids love to " drive" something. Golf carts are the bomb!

 

[cross_7]

Farmwriter one is 11 and one is 9. Both boys.

one thing i would suggest is to buy the boys some books to take home so they can read and escape from reality for a while.
gary paulsen books like hatchet, brians winter and so on are great books for young boys.

 

[I luv herfrds]

Alice that is a great suggestion, but the Hubby may have to testify too, so coming out here is out of the question for the moment. (I'll let you know why after the 10th) Its a 3 hour round trip.

They get to come out here every other weekend and he pulls them, with our kids, on an inner tube behind the 4-wheeler. They have a blast.
We try to not talk about the divorce in front of them.
About broke my heart listening to the youngest boy this weekend asking his Dad if he gets to see him for at least half the day on his birthday. :cry2:

We try to make their visits as nice as possible. Since they maybe in town all day we knew we needed some ideas of what to do with them to keep them busy.

Thank you for all the suggestions.

 

[Kingfisher]

Just remember you don't go thru a divorce as much as you enter into one. God Bless Ya'll.

 

[LazyARanch]

They're having the rug jerked out from under them and wondering what's going on and if it's their fault....

all kids wonder if it was somehow their fault!!

It won't matter none what you do with them, what they are looking for is a sense of normalcy, a sense that things are going to be all right even if they will never be the same, and a sense of security.

Just be that sense of normalcy, security and steadiness that they need.

Let them know you and your hubby are available to help them, talk to them, be there for them any time they need "a rock".

Just be their ROCK

good luck ILH, you are a good lady and a very kind lady :tiphat:

 

[chrisy]

I have found children whos parents are going through a divorce situation don't want a lot of outside fuss, they like normailty and a shoulder to cry on, and not to be left out of what is going on, also a lot of rassurance that it is not their fault and that both Mummy and Daddy still love them, Uncle and Aunty can be their rock and shoulder to cry on and listen to what they want, Alice has come up with the best suggestion, a quite day at your home, doing normal things. If this can't be done ask the boys what they want to do, they are old enough to dicide. Good luck and hope all goes well, for you all.

 

[I luv herfrds]

The boys went in front of the Judge on Monday instead of today. One of them broke down on the stand and started crying. I feel so bad for both of them, they really wanted their family to stay in one piece.

The sad part is this is her 3rd divorce.

Just to let you know a bit of what happened. She filed an order of protection on our cousin and stated that he hired my husband to follow her around. She also stated he (my hubby) was driving by her place of business all the time. Her business is on the main street through our town, so yes he was driving by once in awhile on his way out of town or to the feed store or the school. :roll:

Well my hubby has not been anywhere near her for over 3 weeks. We thought it was all over with until Sunday night. One of her friends assaulted my husband and tried to get him into a fight. He didn't fight him but did call the police and file a complaint. Waiting to hear from the police what happened.

We'll be so glad when this is over. The only thing we have been guilty of is trying to help the boys get their minds off what was going on and letting our cousin have someone to talk to.

 

[Alice]

Child custody cases are nasty, nasty, nasty. The kids suffer way more than anyone else, and many times need counseling for a long time. I'm 58 years old and I'd rather poke myself in the eye than take the stand and testify...it's a miserable experience at best. A child having to sit before a judge and testify...talk about scary and heart wrenching.

For the sake of these children, the adults have absolutely got to get their acts together...I know, easier said than done...especially when parents are more concerned with being vindictive toward each other than making things better for the little ones. It'll be hard, but you and your husband try really, really hard not to get caught up in the dynamics of the divorce...something that's too easy to do when you have family involved, but the kids can feel the tension and stress from EVERYONE involved, and are more likely to internalize it...and hold it in until one day it breaks open and then, man oh man. If y'all can provide them a stress free atmosphere...a sanctuary away from the hatefulness and meanness, it will help tremendously.

I wish you luck and I'll pray for those poor little guys.

Alice

 

[kerley]

Child custody cases are nasty, nasty, nasty. The kids suffer way more than anyone else, and many times need counseling for a long time. I'm 58 years old and I'd rather poke myself in the eye than take the stand and testify...it's a miserable experience at best. A child having to sit before a judge and testify...talk about scary and heart wrenching.

For the sake of these children, the adults have absolutely got to get their acts together...I know, easier said than done...especially when parents are more concerned with being vindictive toward each other than making things better for the little ones. It'll be hard, but you and your husband try really, really hard not to get caught up in the dynamics of the divorce...something that's too easy to do when you have family involved, but the kids can feel the tension and stress from EVERYONE involved, and are more likely to internalize it...and hold it in until one day it breaks open and then, man oh man. If y'all can provide them a stress free atmosphere...a sanctuary away from the hatefulness and meanness, it will help tremendously.

I wish you luck and I'll pray for those poor little guys.

Alice

Alice, I agree with you.
~Tom