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Well-known member
Dec 28, 2003
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MO Ozarks
Death of a Senator

A powerful senator dies after a prolonged illness. His soul arrives in
heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there
is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so
we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the guy.

"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have
you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to
spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down,
down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a
green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it
are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him, everyone
is very happy and in evening attire. They run to greet him, hug him, and
reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of
the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and

Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good
time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that
before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and
waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St.
Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit Heaven."

So 24 hours pass with the head of state joining a group of contented souls
moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good
time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter

"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose
your eternity."

He reflects for a minute, then the senator answers, "Well, I would never
have said it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be
better off in Hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to

Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land
covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags,
picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to
him and lays his arm on his neck. "I don't understand,"
stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and
club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all
there is, is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
campaigning...Today you voted for us!"


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