To:God......From: The Dog

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TexasBred

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Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

_________________________________


Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.


1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff..

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.



P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?




'Until one has loved an animal, part of his soul remains unawakened'
 
TB, thanks for the laugh. But you forgot a couple things on the second list.

13. I will not try to lick moms ear when she takes me for a ride in the truck. :oops:
14. I will not chew up a full water bottle when riding shotgun. :mad:
15. I will learn that not all tubs of water are my personal swimming pools. :lol2:
16. I will learn that I don't get to ride on hay bales when mom is trying to work. :lol2:
 
FarmGirl10":1j61vtk0 said:
TB, thanks for the laugh. But you forgot a couple things on the second list.

13. I will not try to lick moms ear when she takes me for a ride in the truck. :oops:
14. I will not chew up a full water bottle when riding shotgun. :mad:
15. I will learn that not all tubs of water are my personal swimming pools. :lol2:
16. I will learn that I don't get to ride on hay bales when mom is trying to work. :lol2:

:lol: :lol: Absolutely...as well as " I know that regardless how easy it looks...I cannot drive the truck".
 
I forgot a couple more.

17. I will not lock mom out of her running truck when there is freezing rain. :frowns:
18. If I accidently lock mom out of the truck i will not misbehave because I know I cant get into trouble. :mad:
 
FarmGirl10":3ux88mt6 said:
I forgot a couple more.

17. I will not lock mom out of her running truck when there is freezing rain. :frowns:
18. If I accidently lock mom out of the truck i will not misbehave because I know I cant get into trouble. :mad:

Learned a long time ago... If you are getting out, take the keys or roll a window down far enough to be able and reach in to unlock the door. :nod:
 
1982vett":xdfm0k5m said:
FarmGirl10":xdfm0k5m said:
I forgot a couple more.

17. I will not lock mom out of her running truck when there is freezing rain. :frowns:
18. If I accidently lock mom out of the truck i will not misbehave because I know I cant get into trouble. :mad:

Learned a long time ago... If you are getting out, take the keys or roll a window down far enough to be able and reach in to unlock the door. :nod:
I normally do, but it was winter and there was freezing rain. I didn't want my doors to freeze shut again so I decided to leave the truck running and Buckshot didn't want to get out. Luckily I was only an 1/8 of a mile from home, because he didn't know the command "Unlock the Door." :oops: :lol:
 
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