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Thoughts and Advise Needed

I luv herfrds

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I've been thinking a lot lately and now I need some more advise.

I walked away from the friend who lost his wife. I refuse to go to his place, except to visit Kelly's grave and he is not welcome over here when I am home. Rather he wasn't over here ever again.

A few things have now happened and I am just not too sure what to do.

I finally found out that his girlfriend got to calling my son names, I mean nasty names. She did it last year the last time I was out at his place. Son didn't tell me til recently. when I asked him why he waited so long he said because he knew I would have jumped on her and pounded her into the dirt and he didn't want me arrested.

She has taken to calling his oldest daughter very foul names. She is 15 years old. :mad: :mad:

Also found out that she has stolen money out of some of the kid's wallets. The kids save all the birthday, fair and 4-H money they get.

Child Services has already been called out there once, but doubt if anyone will call again because nothing was done.

I am really worried about the way this person treats the kids.
What do I do? What can I do?
 

I luv herfrds

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Ryder it is mental abuse right now, but once it turns physical will you tell me the same thing? Stay away?

Read up on Domestic Abuse.
 

kerley

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Is the deceased buried in a cemetery or in this mans back yard. Is this man raising these children by himself, and are they his children. Is this woman and man married or just shacked up. I think you are smart to stay away and even smarter to mind your own business and leave them alone.
Tom
 

peg4x4

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Intersting how the men all say Stay out of it. I'm old,female..I say call CPS again and again.
Sombody needs to stick up for those kids. Do they have other family? Might get them involved. Is Dad on drugs? That might explain howcome he doesn't get rid of the scag. How would CPS know anything was wrong unless someone tells them?
 

I luv herfrds

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The wife died in '07. She is buried on the ranch. Children are his. Shacked up.

So when the physical abuse starts I should just turn a blind eye to it, is that what you are saying Tom? Would you?

Peg they have the mothers parents, but they are in poor health. Father has now gotten back on speaking terms with the mom's sister, so they now have a place to go to.
He drinks like a fish.
 

peg4x4

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OK-he found an enabeler-He's too drunk to know/care-call CPS,tell them all you know..Mabe the kids will be taken to relatives to live..you don't them to think this is a "normal" way to live..
 

kerley

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I luv herfrds":4rrz2c6c said:
I've been thinking a lot lately and now I need some more advise.

I walked away from the friend who lost his wife. I refuse to go to his place, except to visit Kelly's grave and he is not welcome over here when I am home. Rather he wasn't over here ever again.

A few things have now happened and I am just not too sure what to do.

I finally found out that his girlfriend got to calling my son names, I mean nasty names. She did it last year the last time I was out at his place. Son didn't tell me til recently. when I asked him why he waited so long he said because he knew I would have jumped on her and pounded her into the dirt and he didn't want me arrested.

She has taken to calling his oldest daughter very foul names. She is 15 years old. :mad: :mad:

Also found out that she has stolen money out of some of the kid's wallets. The kids save all the birthday, fair and 4-H money they get.

Child Services has already been called out there once, but doubt if anyone will call again because nothing was done.

I am really worried about the way this person treats the kids.
What do I do? What can I do?
I did not understand why you could not visit the grave without seeing the husband. Did not know the father of the kids was a drunk. Does the father know his shack up is abusing his kids. Do the children have grand parents. Nothing like loosing mom to mess up a family. My son's wife was killed in an auto accident Dec. 10,2007. Left him with two young ones. He won't allow another woman to move in. Says his family has suffered enough. If he needs help he can call us thats what we are for. Thats why I asked about Grandparents. If you get to agressive you will be shut out totally
Tom.
 

gimpyrancher

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According to the authorities, it never happened until they are notified. The first complaint may not do the trick. But repeated complaints will get attention. The kids need the help now before they're lost completely. You can always complain anonymously. No shame in that.
 

Lammie

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That's a real shame. He's lost in his grief and his GF is taking full advantage of it. He needs to sober up and realize that he's about to lose the most important thing in his life, his children, because he can't be their father and is allowing this abusive behavior to go on. She's the enabler here. After all, if he's sober, he would not allow this. If he's drunk all the time, she can do what she wants, and the kids get caught up in the middle of it. How hellish for them.

I'd say talk to him or get someone he knows to talk to him, and see if he can't be convinced that he's about to lose his kids if he can't get his life under control. Alcolohics are hard to convince of things because they don't care about anything but maintaining that drunk. I had a brother who drank himself to death, I know.

Keep calling the child welfare people. Make the school aware of it. Keep it out there. Something will have to give one way or another.
 

ffamom

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I would let the kids know that if thing get really rough at home, they can come to your house....even if it is 2 AM. Talk to the kids if you get a chance. Have them formulate a plan if things get physical. If it is emotional abuse, be their rock.
 

I luv herfrds

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Lammie I last had a serious conversation with him in May. I listened to what was advised to me the last time and I walked away from him.
I know for a fact you can't tell him anything, my hubby has finally started telling him to dump her. I just avoid him now.

ffamom I have told them to come over or call at any time day or night.

I know quite a few people have said that they would call CPS, but how many of them actually have guts to do it I don't know. CPS has been out once already, don't know if it did any good.
 

ffamom

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I'm a teacher, so I have had to fill a report. In Texas you can fill out a report online. In my opinion, I wouldn't call unless I saw something that lead me to believe they were physically abused or neglected.
 

Jogeephus

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I would extend an open invitation to the children to come and stay at your house. Kids need to know someone cares. Sounds like their father is a real POS.
 

Lammie

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ffamom":ixiocg4a said:
I'm a teacher, so I have had to fill a report. In Texas you can fill out a report online. In my opinion, I wouldn't call unless I saw something that lead me to believe they were physically abused or neglected.

Emotional abuse can hurt just as bad as hitting.
 

talldog

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Jogeephus":1mpg9pzs said:
I would extend an open invitation to the children to come and stay at your house. Kids need to know someone cares. Sounds like their father is a real POS.
About the best I've heard---Tough situation !! :( :(
 

I luv herfrds

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Ran into a friend today and got some really good news.
The kids have moved out of their Dad's house and have moved in with friends.
They are scattered out, but better scattered out then living in that unhealthy house. I know if they moved in with their aunt their dad would have made them move back home.

I feel better now knowing that they are somewhere else. Thank you for all of the advise, if they do move back home I will be watching like a hawk.
If the shack up starts in on them again I will be calling CPS immediately.
 

kerley

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I can't imagine a father allowing some bimbo to run his children off. I guess I have been blessed with a good loving son, who loves his children and will take care of them under any circumstances. Maybe the folks that are careing for the children will each notify athorities and some good will happen. ILuvhurfs, your first post was lacking information. After reading the rest of the story I have to agree with you. Lets pray that the father will sober and man up, dump the bimbo and take care of his kids.
Tom.
 

GMN

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How was the Dad when his wife was living? Did he drink then? Hard to formulate an opinion of someone without knowing what kind of person they were before a catastrophic loss. I try not to judge people because its these kinds of losses that can make otherwise normal people get lost for awhile or for a long time.

GMN
 

peg4x4

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Yes,how he acted before the loss of his wife was what I wanted to know.. It does sound as tho this is new. Depression/hopelessness takes many forms,a lot of it distructive.. Don't know how you could get him to the Dr,much less get him to take meds.. Be lots easier if he was a chimp for real insted of just acting like one.
 

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