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Tommy Ruyle

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larryshoat

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All I can say is.......... :shock: :shock: :shock: .

Larry
 

Rod

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As Larry the cable guy would say,"now thats funny, i dont care who you are."
 

iowafarmer

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Tommy i hope your not married cause either your wife is goin to kill u one of these times or u are going to drive her to an early grave until that keep posting :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

chrisy

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all I can say is.......

C.O.S.H.H. REGULATIONS 1988
HAZARDOUS MATERIALS DATA SHEET

CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
Substance: Man
Symbol: M+ (Free radical most desirable)
Discoverer: Eve
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 65 Kg, but there are known isotopes ranging from 55 Kg to 115 Kg
Occurrence: Large quantities in urban areas, with traces found in most other areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Surface normally covered in grease and fur oxidase except at apex of specimen
2. Surface liable to tarnish, stain and attract dirt.
3. Pungent or stale odour.
4. Usually inert, but correct stimulus can promote a reaction.
5. Yields if pressure applied in the correct manner, explodes under strain.
6. Bitter if used incorrectly, sours with age but can sometimes be sweetened up.
7. Found in various grades, ranging from virgin grade to base material, but pure specimens hard to find nowadays.
8. Not one of the ‘noble elements’ (usually found in combination with Woman).

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Great affinity to alcohol (ethanol).
2. Capable of liberating quantities of expensive substances if treated correctly.
3. May explode spontaneously if left alone with a female.
4. Softens and wilts when soaked in hot water, greater rigidity at cooler temperatures.
5. Insoluble in liquids, especially inert after saturation in alcohol (athough this state is preceded by an initial and noisy period of increased activity).
6. The most powerful money producing agent known to woman. High valency - capable of multiple bonds with Woman.

COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental - especially during Match of the Day or Formula One racing.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.

TESTS
1. Pure specimens turn pale and shrivel when discovered in the natural state.
2. Behaves erratically when placed alongside a superior specimen.
3. Localised expansion and rigidity when excited.

HAZARDS
1. Dangerous in inexperienced hands - unpredictable when activated
2. Illegal to possess more than one permanent specimen (great care must be taken when handling multiple specimens).
3. May induce swelling if suitable handling precautions are not taken.

CONTAMINATION PROCEDURE
1. If contaminated, the services of a skilled lawyer must be sought.
 

hillsdown

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COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental - especially during Match of the Day or Formula One racing.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.

Ha ha Crisy,,add on besides European football ,Nascar ( or any vehicle that goes fast), Family Guy , the Simpsons and any other stupid cartoon on TV.. :nod: Thank God Beavis and Buthead was canceled.. :?

Tommy I laughed at your post as well, if a gal can't laugh at herself ,,,well... :cowboy:
 

Loch Valley Fold

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:lol: :lol: :lol: I thought it was pretty funny too
I printed it off & stuck it on the dairy wall just to see how long it took for everyone to realise what it was. The milk truck driver must have had a good laugh as he forgot to leave the milk dockets & results like he should have.
 

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