MULDOON
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2004
- Messages
- 673
- Reaction score
- 0
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get
into my own pants.
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I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I
said, "Implants?" She hit me.
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I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up
fast.
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I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me
here.
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I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or
a moaner.
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I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of
them get elected.
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I love being married. It's so great to find that one special
person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
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Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise
words:
Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
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A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a
true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Darn...that was fun!" :lol:
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I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-
fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have
signed up in the first place!
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When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I
just "chunky dunk."
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Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able
to tell the difference.
;-) -------------------------------------------------------------------
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Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
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Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school,
but they can in prison?
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If raising children was going to be easy, it never would
have started with something called LABOR!
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Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go,
but FAT cells live forever.
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Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten
Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?
:idea: :idea: :?:
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Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a
teacher....and since it's in English, thank a soldier
into my own pants.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
----
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I
said, "Implants?" She hit me.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
----
I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up
fast.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
----
I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me
here.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
----
I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or
a moaner.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
----
I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of
them get elected.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
----
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special
person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
----
Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise
words:
Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
----
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a
true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Darn...that was fun!" :lol:
-------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
----
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-
fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have
signed up in the first place!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
----
When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I
just "chunky dunk."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
----
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able
to tell the difference.
;-) -------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
----
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
----
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school,
but they can in prison?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
----
If raising children was going to be easy, it never would
have started with something called LABOR!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
---
Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go,
but FAT cells live forever.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
----
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten
Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?
:idea: :idea: :?:
-------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
----
Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a
teacher....and since it's in English, thank a soldier
