Menu
Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New media
New media comments
New profile posts
Latest activity
Media
New media
New comments
Search media
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles and first posts only
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Forums
Non-Cattle Specific Topics
Coffee Shop
The Value of a Drink
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Help Support CattleToday:
Message
<blockquote data-quote="TexasBred" data-source="post: 605771" data-attributes="member: 6897"><p>The Value of a Drink </p><p></p><p>'Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink</p><p>I feel shame . Then I look into the glass and think</p><p>About the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes</p><p>And dreams .. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out</p><p>Of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this wine </p><p>And let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'</p><p>~ Jack Handy</p><p>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hel happened to your bra and panties.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>'I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they Wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're</p><p>Going to feel all day. '</p><p>~Frank Sinatra</p><p>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, Smarter, faster and better looking than most people.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>'When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.'</p><p>~ Henny Youngman</p><p>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>'24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.'</p><p>~ Stephen Wright</p><p>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>'When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, We fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all Get drunk and go to heaven!'</p><p>~ Brian O'Rourke</p><p>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>'Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.' </p><p>~ Benjamin Franklin</p><p>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>'Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the</p><p>Wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.'</p><p>~ Dave Barry</p><p>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!</p><p>~ Dave Howell</p><p>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the ' Buffalo Theory' to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:</p><p></p><p>'Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first . This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowst brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'</p><p></p><p>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TexasBred, post: 605771, member: 6897"] The Value of a Drink 'Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame . Then I look into the glass and think About the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes And dreams .. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out Of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this wine And let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.' ~ Jack Handy WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hel happened to your bra and panties. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they Wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're Going to feel all day. ' ~Frank Sinatra WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, Smarter, faster and better looking than most people. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.' ~ Henny Youngman WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ '24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.' ~ Stephen Wright WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, We fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all Get drunk and go to heaven!' ~ Brian O'Rourke WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.' ~ Benjamin Franklin WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the Wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.' ~ Dave Barry WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the ' Buffalo Theory' to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: 'Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first . This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowst brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.' WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Non-Cattle Specific Topics
Coffee Shop
The Value of a Drink
Top