The JoMonsanto Cattle Company

[Jogeephus]

After much study of the Monsanto business model I have formed a new corporation which will be directly affecting many of you on this board. The JoMonsanto Cattle Company has successfully lobbyed your legislature to pass HB SU12manytimes which now allows The JoMonsanto Cattle Company to access a $50/head technology fee on each cow which is managed under our Patented "grass in front of the cow precision management system (PMS for short)". Additionally, we have patented the genetic rights to bahia, bermuda, fescue and alfalfa. Don't be alarmed as our fee arrangement and technology fee for these forages will be very similar to the one Monsanto has on cotton, peanuts, corn and canola so the $85/bag technology fee will not be a big deal to you producers. Keep in mind, we - like the government - are here to help you. Additonally, we will soon have a patent on the black gene in cattle but we don't expect to have to charge anymore than a $40 surcharge for black cattle sold on the world market.

I hope this sounds fair to everyone since we made every effort to try to keep the costs down as much as possible but you must realize how much effort we have put into research and developement of these advanced systems. Also, our lobbying costs are horrendous. But after much deliberation most of the senators - I mean stock holders felt this was fair to insure viable research into the future and keep the folks in the american agriculture on the cutting edge of the sword.

The JoMonsanto Cattle Company will be taking direct deposits or cash for your use of our patents - no checks. If you have any questions you can call 1-800-Monopoly or go to our website http://www.whathappenedtofreedom.org.

 

[MikeC]

I'd wait until this gene patenting thing is settled Jo............................



U.S. Gene Patents in Legal Limbo –– for Now

Thursday, April 03, 2008
by: Janis K. Fraser, Ph.D.

A long settled point of U.S. law regarding patentability of genes has recently become unsettled. Whether the USPTO will henceforth issue any new patents claiming genes as well as whether already-issued gene patents will survive a validity challenge has been called into question. The issue revolves around one of the conditions for patentability embodied in U.S. patent law: The requirement that the invention not have been obvious at the time the patent application was filed.


A single U.S. statute governs patentability of all inventions in the U.S., regardless of the technology. The unique features of gene inventions have posed a number of unique statutory interpretation issues for the USPTO and federal courts. One of those issues was presumably settled in 1995 in a far-reaching case decided by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit (CAFC): In re Deuel, 34 USPQ2d 1210.

 

[john250]

Spoken like a man who just got the invoice for his seed.

 

[mnmtranching]

Hey Joe, You need a partner or anything. :welcome:

 

[Jalopy]

Jo-
Along with your patented enterprises I am willing for a percentage set up livestock insurance (scheme) Er excuse me i meant) policy to cover a select amount of the cattle under your approved system and a double discount for the ones that have your technology and are black if I work it correctly I can the federal government o endorse it in certain pilot states. Any way I can help just let me know.

The precedent has already been set for pilot program Monsanto got with triple stacked gene corn in a few pilot states on federal crop insurance.

 

[john250]

When this post first came up, my mind read it as Joe Montana.
I think JoMonsanto is Joe Montana's mexican half brother, but I could be wrong about that.
I hear they have patented a Jerry Rice gene, with a 15% increase in yields, due to increased root development. Jerry Rice goes deep.

 

[cattleluvr18]

dont forget when you find someone violating 'JoMansantos' rules, regulations, and what not...be sure to make them pay BIG and make them out to be big fools in public and release alot of personal information and to have a 'black list' to put them on.

 

[Horticattleman]

Ohh OOOh OOOh where do I send the money.

P.S. I don't know if this is real because it doesn't have a referral from the American Angus Association

 

[Jogeephus]

Mike, I truly believe if the average voter understood how they have rigged the seed business this would get struck down in a heartbeat. However, until that time comes, you have a guaranteed job In the JC Co. as Chief Legal and Technical Adviser of the Western Hemisphere. This job, along with its many perks and gold parachute retirement plan, will have a seven figure yearly salary, 401K, profit sharing and I'm working toward getting income taxes waved on your salary.

Mmntranching, I think we definitely need a World Wide Public Relations Manager who can take dignitaries and politicians hunting and fishing. This of course will come with Carte Blanche and anything you want will be at your beckoning call. Of course, though I know money is of no concern to you as you will be doing this for the good of the industry, your salary and perk package will be identical to everyone in the upper tiers of this company. But there is one condition. You must report to the main office at least once a year whether you have anything to do or not.

Jalopy, I like the way you think. We've just ordered your desk for your office and your name plate is on the door. I hope you don't mind that your jacuzzi on the patio of your private office is facing east and it might get a little shady late in the afternoon. But then again, I imagine the late lunches would probably keep you from returning to the office after lunch anyhow. We understand how busy you can get. BTW - perks are the same - not that it would matter to you.

John250, the idea of rice sounds good. Just think how much we could pull in from the east if we could get a patent on the rice. Reckon our politicians - I mean major stockholders could help us strong arm or convince the Chinese and Vietmanese governments to go along with a technology fee on rice? Wonder how much it would cost us to get some favorable legislation passed in these countries? If your up to it, you got a job. If you don't like that proposal, pick a state or a region and you can be the regional director of this area. You'll need to put in at least four hours a week though. Same perks.

Horticattlman, the American Angus Association is no more as we now hold the patent rights to the black gene. Angus is now called JoMoneyMakers and the AAA is now called the World Wide JoMoneyMakers Association. If you raise black cattle it is madatory that you join otherwise the feds will get you for infringement of patent rights punishable with several hundred thousand dollar fines and prison terms. Joining the Association is simple, $100 annual fee and $35 per head per year. Also, we are redoing the database and anyone with registered cattle will need to grind the tattoos off and retatoo using a new premise ID number as well as an individual id number that we will issue for a small fee. BTW - we are needing a regional rep in your area. Interested in helping out the agricultural communtity?

*****News Flash***** I'm proud to announce we have just rehired the entire accounting staff of Authur Anderson to help us with our bookkeeping. Since we are going public, this will be very important to have some savvy experienced accountants on board. They have suggested that we begin sale of stock at $200 per share. For each $400 we take in we will create an extra share internally and this will be kicked into the upper management's profit sharing plan. If the govmint determines that our patents won't hold mustard then we can continue to create more internal shares and kick them into the profit plan in the event people quite investing in our company. We can dump all our shares just before we publish the daming quarterly report and we can all float down to our private islands with our golden parachutes.

 

[MikeC]

Mike, I truly believe if the average voter understood how they have rigged the seed business this would get struck down in a heartbeat. However, until that time comes, you have a guaranteed job In the JC Co. as Chief Legal and Technical Adviser of the Western Hemisphere. This job, along with its many perks and gold parachute retirement plan, will have a seven figure yearly salary, 401K, profit sharing and I'm working toward getting income taxes waved on your salary.

:lol: :lol:
"Waved"

I particularly like to "wave" those $100 bills if you could work it out!!

Count me in!!! :lol:

 

[Jogeephus]

Actually Mike, I would have used inserted the letter i but I'm pretty sure Monsanto has a copyright on that word and I didn't want to have to pay any penalties for copyright infringement. :lol: