The Importance of Tithing

Help Support CattleToday:

Here is one for the Catholics.Woman gets up on Sunday and gets ready for mass looks at the clock and sees she is running late runs out of the house and across the street to church jumps over hedge and falls young man standing at door sees her she gets on her feet and walks to the door and asks him is mass out he said no but your hats on crooked.
 
TexasBred":37799ak6 said:
HerefordSire":37799ak6 said:
In the town I live in, every Wednesday night, Catholics and "in denial" sinners may be the only drivers on the roads. :mrgreen:

We go to the 6:30 mass so we can get out early, stop and have a couple of cold beers and get home in time for the 10 pm news. :lol:

Ahhhhhhh the joys of being Catholic, and the best part is you can go to confession and start clean next week. Been there done that
 
rusty":1892slh8 said:
Here is one for the Catholics.Woman gets up on Sunday and gets ready for mass looks at the clock and sees she is running late runs out of the house and across the street to church jumps over hedge and falls young man standing at door sees her she gets on her feet and walks to the door and asks him is mass out he said no but your hats on crooked.


roflmao...way to go Rusty. :banana:
 
Didn't mean to give the impression I was offended. I was just joining the fun.
 
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.


First:
What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second:
How many seconds are there in a year?

Third:
What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers"

Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter "T"? Shucks , that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow." !

The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.

"How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... "

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?

"Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy."

"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.

"O K, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song, "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN."

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: "Run Forrest, run."
 

Latest posts

Top