The Honest Mortician

[dj]

A man who just died is delivered to the mortuary wearing an
expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The mortician asks
the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is
already wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the mortician a blank check and says, "I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing." The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her
husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to the
mortician, "Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you
spend?" To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank check. "There's no charge," he says. "No, really,
I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!" she says. "Honestly, ma'am," the mortician says, "It cost
nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit
instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice. So I switched the heads."

 

[rkm]

Is that what they call dark humor?

 

[cowspider]

:shock: :shock: :???:

 

[chrisy]

:shock: :shock: :?

 

[Lammie]

EEEWWWW!!!

My son is acually attending Amarillo College this fall to study mortuary science. He has wanted to be a mortician since 8th grade. I'll be sure to tell him the joke!

 

[*Cowgirl*]

:shock: :shock: :shock:

 

[Lammie]

I am just glad he has some notion of what he wants to do. Funeral directors around here are like the local pranksters. In my home town, George Martin would alway cut out your picture if you got it in the paper, laminate it and send it to you with a nice note. He also did funeral home tours for the senior class every year and would loan out a coffin for the spook house at the Halloween carnival. Someone would lay in there and play dead and the jump up to scare the kids. Big fun that no one is allowed to have anymore. Once, someone shut the lid and it accidently locked with the student inside. (Are those things airtight?) Anyway, he showed up and got her out.

Big fun! :shock:

 

[Lammie]

I don't recall who was in the casket that year, but there may very well have been stains.

Caption in the high school yearbook in 1970:

"A tiskit, a taskit, Cecil's in a casket!" Along with the accompanying pic of Cecil playing dead.

You can't do that kind of stuff anymore! I was just a little kid and I thought it was a blast! Nowadays, I guess that isn't politically correct. All I know is that it was fun getting the crud scared outa ya!

 

[backhoeboogie]

I don't recall who was in the casket that year, but there may very well have been stains.

Caption in the high school yearbook in 1970:

"A tiskit, a taskit, Cecil's in a casket!" Along with the accompanying pic of Cecil playing dead.

You can't do that kind of stuff anymore! I was just a little kid and I thought it was a blast! Nowadays, I guess that isn't politically correct. All I know is that it was fun getting the crud scared outa ya!

Law suits. Granbury Sr. Class spook house 2003. Glen Rose girl claimed she was "touched" in appropriately. Don't know if it was an accident or intentional. Class of 2004 was not allowed the fund raiser (and it raised a lot of nickels too). I helped put together the 2002 class spookhouse in the fall of 2001 with no problems encountered. Don't know what happened the following year, but it was the last one ever.