The Ant and the Grasshopper - OLD and NEW Versions

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Craig-TX

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The Ant and the Grasshopper

OLD VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican
 

lavacarancher

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I have a list of all Republican Senators and I would send this to them - if they knew how to read and understood the implication. Seems that they don't know either. Just look at Obama care. I don't think any of them read all 20,000 pages of the law.
 

Cabo

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lavacarancher":8hglby2z said:
I have a list of all Republican Senators and I would send this to them - if they knew how to read and understood the implication. Seems that they don't know either. Just look at Obama care. I don't think any of them read all 20,000 pages of the law.

Are you suggesting that they "pass it so they can find out what is in it"?
 

bbirder

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Cabo":2f3fry6q said:
lavacarancher":2f3fry6q said:
I have a list of all Republican Senators and I would send this to them - if they knew how to read and understood the implication. Seems that they don't know either. Just look at Obama care. I don't think any of them read all 20,000 pages of the law.

Are you suggesting that they "pass it so they can find out what is in it"?

I would suggest that based on their balls, they belong on "Craigslist Bulls". :banana:
 

Cabo

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bbirder":32i1t364 said:
Cabo":32i1t364 said:
lavacarancher":32i1t364 said:
I have a list of all Republican Senators and I would send this to them - if they knew how to read and understood the implication. Seems that they don't know either. Just look at Obama care. I don't think any of them read all 20,000 pages of the law.

Are you suggesting that they "pass it so they can find out what is in it"?

I would suggest that based on their balls, they belong on "Craigslist Bulls". :banana:

One with big ears?
 

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