Tennessee Christmas

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Crowderfarms

Crowderfarms

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Bullbuyer":3g6tyvs5 said:
Christmas in Tennessee?
Salvation Army & Goodwill probably go into "disaster mode" to cover all the needy little snotty - nosed youngins down there. So sad really - all of them huddled in a little circle sharing stories of their long missing fathers - known only to them as Crowder, Paint, or flaboy. No way for a kid to spend Christmas.
The stockin's was hung by the Chimney with care, in hopes that the Linch Mob after Bullbuyer soon'd be there.

W. Virginia Christmas Carol:

All I want fer Christmas is my DNA.
 

dun

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Crowderfarms":1j4sumzb said:
W. Virginia Christmas Carol:

All I want fer Christmas is my DNA.

I thouhgt it was "my own set of false teeth"

dun
 
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OR-
I got my Sister Electrolysis for Christmas. I'm tired of her razor stubble when we kiss. :shock: :heart: Heard there's big discounts with rebates from Gillette in W.Virginia this time a year!
 

backhoeboogie

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Bullbuyer":3368gtp0 said:
warpaint":3368gtp0 said:
Think you might have stepped over the line with that one, BB.

I apologize if I've offended anyone. That probably was a little harsh.

For those three the truth probably hurt, just a little.
 
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warpaint":19maijpn said:
I can joke and play till it comes to my kids. Thats where I draw the line.

Apology accepted, we'll move on. ;-)

Heck Paint the "Boy" was only kiddin'. You caint expect a lot of brain function from a Yank anyway. :shock: :lol:

Linebreeding can be a dangerous thing.
 
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Now back to our Chrsitsmas Classic...

Now Ol' MikeC and Nowland, Just came a pullin' in.
Travelin' down the road in a whipped ol' Datsun B-210.
With 3 wimmens from 'Bama. Man, they ugly as sin.

Flaboy wont make, got some lame excuse.
Sumpin' bout some Cubans, Castro done turned loose.
Sometimes I wonder if the boy has any brains,
I beleive he's a prison inmate,
locked up way down in Florida where folks are all insane.

Now Bullbuyer he's got here too, much to my surprise.
He drove a Custom Van, along with 3 homely other Guys. :shock:

Why looks there's MillIron, he made it in fore' dark!
Brought us Christmas Dinner,a Pan of deep fried Carp.
I promise I wont eat it, fried fish'll make you fat.
Even I gots sense alots better than that!

Now here come the Williams Boys, my neighbors down the ridge.
They keep hundreds of beers, always in their fridge.
Now keep this secret between us, promise not to tell,
Them 3 married their sisters, and had kids ugly as Helll.

Why lookie there it's Chrisy, she brought along a friend.
All them miles from England.
Sit down,and ya'll have a beer.
She says his name is Elton.
A wearin all them earings,in both them ears.Scarin' me to death.
I believe this dude's a queer.

To each of from near and far, we wish that you were here.
Got to go and check on Paint, he's on his hundreth beer.
Been in the Hot Tub with Uncle Hugh's gals.
Mrs. Paint will soon be here.

To be Continued, Maybe.
 

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hobbyhorse.gif
 
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dun":3kg6tabn said:
Crowderfarms":3kg6tabn said:
dun":3kg6tabn said:

I know Dun, I left out Caustic and TurnMawLoose. I'll get to them later...

shrug.gif

Ok Dun. I'll do it now.

In walks Ol' Caustic, movin' real slow.
The room's done cleared out, Hobby Farmers had to go.
Gots a big chaw of Red Man..Where did all his teeth's go?
Thought he really looked like Hoss, But really Little Joe.

Some really think he's mean, we found that aint the truth.
Quit chewin all that 'bacco, you only got one tooth.
He rode here on a stick horse, thru the cold hard rain.
Found out the real truth, heck the boy's from Maine.

Where did you get them pink chaps,? ol Bullbuyers done excited.
Had I knowed you was one of them, you'd be un-invited.

There's a knockin' at the door, who could it be?
It's that crazy dude TurnMawLoose from East Tennessee.
Macon Banned him a dozen times, much to no avail.
Got his ISP address, drove the final nail.

Maw Crowder answers the door and wont let him in.
Says he'll change his username and will be back again.
Caustic cocks his 45-70 Marlin and tells Maw Crowder,
I'll handle this un' darlin'.

Fraid' we'd have to call Aplus to clean up a mess,
When Turn MawLoose ran off after see'n Caustic's Red Dress.

To be Continued. Maybe.
 

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mdmdogs3":ez3rb4ud said:
Crowder..know that you ordered this for Warpaint

13.gif



heard a rumor that UPS made a delivery error...



12.gif


Got a package just like that, unwrapped under the tree.
Gonna have to check for armpit odor emanating from the box.
If so, this will be headed back... 8)
 

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