Tennessee Christmas

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Crowderfarms

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Another soon to be Christmas Classic, from the Beautiful Hills of Tennessee.

Twas a few days fore' Christmas, and all over the Farm, Paint's been killin' dozens of Coors Lites, not doin' no one no harm.

Got lots of company a comin' they'll be here right quick. Have another longneck Paint, hope you git sick...

When much to my surprise a headin' up the road, why it's a convoy of Limo's rollin' real slow, Got a Couple of Deer on the hood, a Buck and a Doe.! Guess what's fer supper, Ho Ho Ho!

The Driver's of the Limo's slid out from behind the wheels, By golly its them wimmens from "Deal or No Deal!" Out open them doors, it's my Cronies and Cohorts some aint never been here fore's.

From all over the States, from near and far, some traveled fer days in the Krispy Kreme car. All are here to ring in the season,Did't no one need to bring a gift, just seein' them smilin' faces, gave me a lift.

Ol' Paints a stumblin full of Chistmas Cheer tellin' my Mom to please git him a Beer.She yells that's nuff Paint Fed Ex is here wit your Mail order bride done delivered right here.

Ma Crowder's in the house cookin' big tanks of Chili, a listenin' to a Christmas CD by Haggard, Aint she silly.When she finds out Cowgirl580 is here, she may pack her bags and be outta here!.

Sis is in the recliner a pickin' her teeth, her Boyfriends sittin' shotgun, workin' on his feet.Loaned him some money so he can gets some tooths, cant hardly stand him. He's really so un-cooths.

To be continued, I done ran outta time gotta get to work, and try to make a dime....
 

Alice

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dun":aksdogkw said:
What, no mention of George Dickel?

dun

Need to save George Dickel for Backhoe Christmas prose, Dun...Dickel rhymes with nickel.

Alice
 

dun

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Alice":19iivwju said:
dun":19iivwju said:
What, no mention of George Dickel?

dun

Need to save George Dickel for Backhoe Christmas prose, Dun...Dickel rhymes with nickel.

Alice

Can't ehlp myself, when I think of TN I fondly remember George

dun
 

curtis

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Trottin threw the snow
with a long horn pullin a sled
Crowders makin a speech
an Warpaint playin dead
Cowgirl runin along
an Mike C bringing up the rear
all they really tryin to do
is have a little XMAS cheer.


Thats as far as i got, not real good at this, maybe ya,ll can add to it.
 

warpaint

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I'm startin to see a pattern here. Why does everybody just assume that I drink a lot?

Not sayin I don't, just wonderin why ya'll are assumin. :drink: :cowboy:

Everybody needs to be good at somethin. Mine just happens to be drinkin!! :)
 

backhoeboogie

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warpaint":10nf3yxt said:
I'm startin to see a pattern here. Why does everybody just assume that I drink a lot?

Not sayin I don't, just wonderin why ya'll are assumin. :drink: :cowboy:

Everybody needs to be good at somethin. Mine just happens to be drinkin!! :)

We would make a good team, provided you aint one of them folks that takes me to serious. I could do all the driving since I don't drink. If you rode with me, I'm sure you'd put on that seatbelt regularly.
 

MillIronQH

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Bullbuyer":3m2tkfv5 said:
Don't let 'em ruin your good reputation Paint! You're not a drinker - you're a Highly Qualified Brewed Grain Aficionado.

Then why's he drinking Coors? I thought everyone knew that the spring the water they brag about is right down hill from the landfill. :drink: :santa: Z
 

warpaint

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Course it is, thats what gives it that great taste.
Better to have it out of springs, than the Detroit River. At least in the springs, they hold the body count to a minimum!!
 

dun

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warpaint":uski9za2 said:
Better to have it out of springs, than the Detroit River. At least in the springs, they hold the body count to a minimum!!

What about the outhouses upstream?

dun
 

Bullbuyer

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Christmas in Tennessee?
Salvation Army & Goodwill probably go into "disaster mode" to cover all the needy little snotty - nosed youngins down there. So sad really - all of them huddled in a little circle sharing stories of their long missing fathers - known only to them as Crowder, Paint, or flaboy. No way for a kid to spend Christmas.
 

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