Teenage daughter issue - please help!

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If she's only a freshman, then no. I got asked and didn't get to go to prom my freshman year. I wasn't even mad that I couldn't. She has 3 more years of prom.
 
It sounds as if she is coming around to the "no" decision on her own also. As a freshman this is a great time for her to learn the importance of the decisions she makes and how they will affect her life. Her decision to be committed to basketball for the goal of playing college ball should take priority this year and then next year she could qualify her team commitment early with the coach and team by saying that prom weekend she will be unavailable if there is a tourney. That way everyone knows going in what is going to happen. Teens are fun and some of the things we as adults take for granted they question but that is their learning process. Best of luck. JLP
 
Ryder":39am92ym said:
LoveMoo11":39am92ym said:
well since she is only a freshman, that changes things. Its not like its her senior prom-in this case I say do your mom thing and make her honor her commitment.
Agreed.

That makes a difference, I didn't realize she was a freshman, I thought she was older, I've changed my mind I vote for making her go to the game . How did she talk you into buying a prom dress anyway ? I'm not saying I wouldn't have done the same thing I just wondered how she went about it . One thing about it Michele it doesn't seem to get any better, I've got one that's 23 and she always has some kind of dilema, but she's everything to me so I'm more than happy to help with her little problems .

Larry
 
I know a guy who when his son turned 18 decided he didn't have to play by daddys rules.His dad told him he was old enough to make his own decisions so it was either his way or the highway.Son went the highway option and told everyone his dad kicked him out.I told him he made that decision himself and that by telling everyone that he was trying to make his dad look bad.By the way this was all over curfew.He was to home by 11 week days and he was 18 and felt he should be able to do what he wanted.The problem was he was waking his parents up when he came in late and his dad had to get up at 5am for work.I think he regrets leaving now since its been several .They talk but its still uncomfortable for them both.
 
A friend dealing with a HS student asked me what kind of curfew I had as a teenager. After I quit laughing I replied that I didn't know what a curfew was. :lol2:

But I well knew what time I had to get up and go to the barn. :mad:
 
LoveMoo11":21zn6kx1 said:
well since she is only a freshman, that changes things. Its not like its her senior prom-in this case I say do your mom thing and make her honor her commitment.

I agree...
 
For some reason I was thinking Senior. Freshman is a different story.
No prom, She should play BB.
 
Freshman aren't even allowed to go to prom here. Talking next year that sophs won't be allowed either. I like that idea.
 
When I was in highschool it was the junior senior prom.Juniors set it up and decorated and got to go for their troubles.Only way a underclassman could go was be invited.I didn't go for junior went to local colleage to party senior prom me and buddy took same girl.None of us were going so at last minute decide to go as a trio I did leave with her myself.We did have fun as trio I think it was the only time that happened in my school everyone got a kick out of it.Believe it or not my nephew is dating her daughter now.
 
I think she should honor her commitment to the team.
I also think that if this guy who asked her has any sort of honor, he would respect that decision and ask her out on a date where he can come and pick her up so you can meet and get to know him.
Proms can be a good time and it can also be a difficult situtation. Peer pressure can lead to a whole host of issues that could have life changeing consequences. Not knowing the boy on a nite where peer pressure is at it's worst is not a good thing. How does anyone close to the situation know if he is mature enough to withstand peer pressure from his friends?
She would be an hour away from home, with a strange boy (to you), in a social setting she might not be mature enough to handle on her own if trouble arises, no teachers that she would know if she got into an uncomfortable situation, no adults or chaperons that she would know...the what ifs would be enough for me to be thank ful for the BB tournaments, and thankful for her anger towards me for saying no.
 
iowahawkeyes":2pmmflrf said:
Freshman aren't even allowed to go to prom here. Talking next year that sophs won't be allowed either. I like that idea.
To attend our prom, you had to be a junior or senior from our school. No exceptions. We had a senior married to a sophomore, she was too young to go to the prom with him. The next year, he had graduated and couldn't go with her. Of course, they had a lot more to worry about than prom. All that being said, we were told that we were one of the rudest, most unappreciative classes they had ever seen and couldn't find sponsors willing to chaperon. Prom canceled! The guys didn't care. That was 38 years ago and some of the girls still cry about it! :roll:
 
At my high school you had to have permission from the principal to take someone out of HS, an underclassman or someone from a different school. You had to go talk to Mr. Moody his own self and he would give you fatherly advice and severe looks. Most of the senior girls were getting upset because senior boys dates freshman girls. New blood, don't you know. I didn't go to my junior prom, wasn't interested, and I had a date for the senior prom but I wish I had gone stag with my girlfriends because I think, no, I know, they had a better time than I did. Having a date is so overrated. Of course, not when you are 18 and you really want to have a boy at your side for pics.
 
yeah only juniors and seniorsare allowed to go to ours also, outside dates are allowed if they are a junior or senior but you have to fill out a lot of paper work and pay for them. Since she is a freshman she should definaitly go paly basketball.
 
Lammie":hf29ptem said:
At my high school you had to have permission from the principal to take someone out of HS
rusty":hf29ptem said:
When I was in highschool it was the junior senior prom.Juniors set it up and decorated and got to go for their troubles.Only way a underclassman could go was be invited

It hasn't changed a bit here...still those same rules....
 
Update - things turned out just fine. Thanks to everyone on here for their words of advice/wisdom. I have to say my gut was saying honor the commitment, my heart was saying let her go to prom. I am glad I stuck with my gut.

After a day or two of cooling off, she came around. This new boy is going to come watch her play at her tourney this coming weekend, so I get to meet him and we can hang out.

Thanks again everyone! I am so glad I can get unbiased comments from a down to earth great group of people!

Michele
 
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