taking a shower

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chrisy

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How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.


Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.


Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.




How To Shower Like a Man



Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohican

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!!!!!!

PASS THIS ON TO SOMEONE WHO NEEDS CHEERING UP, AS THIS WILL DO IT.
 

pdfangus

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sounds about right to me.....

a shower should be a necessary cleansing procedure.....

not a religious ritual....

also, at my age mirrors are no longer allowed in the bathroom....

nobody wants to look at that...
 

Lammie

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iowahawkeyes":5gb4ad88 said:
What show?? -"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."

"Shrinkage"

:clap: :clap: :banana: :banana:
 

HOSS

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iowahawkeyes":216rzire said:
What show?? -"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."

"Shrinkage"

Its a heavy burden for some of us but somehow we manage :oops: :lol:
 

Lammie

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iowahawkeyes":2xa3eu78 said:
What show?? -"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."

"Shrinkage"


Well, Seinfeld, of course! Eliane said that. I loved that show back in the day...
 

john250

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Lammie":ozxf6d09 said:
iowahawkeyes":ozxf6d09 said:
What show?? -"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."

"Shrinkage"


Well, Seinfeld, of course! Eliane said that. I loved that show back in the day...

Seinfeld made me laugh, but I never really related to yuppies in NYC. Do people really live like that?
Elaine would have gone gonzo for a cowboy. :)
 

Limomike

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iowahawkeyes":2kjuwqsn said:
What show?? -"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."

"Shrinkage"

Quantify "those" things..... :lol:
And besides.. we dont just walk.. we run, jump, crawl, sit, squat, and climb... with "those" things.
 

BeefmasterB

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john250":udllwsby said:
Lammie":udllwsby said:
iowahawkeyes":udllwsby said:
What show?? -"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."

"Shrinkage"


Well, Seinfeld, of course! Eliane said that. I loved that show back in the day...

Seinfeld made me laugh, but I never really related to yuppies in NYC. Do people really live like that?
Elaine would have gone gonzo for a cowboy. :)

Elaine would go gonzo for anything with two legs!! Watched that show every week when taking care of my Dad. Ended up buying the series on DVD (choice episodes). How about that Kramer!!!
 

Bez+

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chrisy":wzaqlrtk said:
How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.


Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.


Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


If you were to come to the Union Jack Club on Sandell - just outside the Waterloo Station you could demonstrate this to me.

Bez
 

curtis

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Well little girl across the pond, I thought you didn't post anything like this. Remember (Tattoo) , and you're the one that squealed like a pig under the gate when that was posted.
Have a good day in merry old England.
 
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chrisy

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curtis":2hxvooa7 said:
Well little girl across the pond, I thought you didn't post anything like this. Remember (Tattoo) , and you're the one that squealed like a pig under the gate when that was posted.
Have a good day in merry old England.
Ah! yes I do :oops: but that was a bit different one would say. :help: plus I didn't post the youtube which was a bit crude.
 

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