Speedy Ethel

[Arnold Ziffle]

Ethel was a bit of a speed demon in her wheelchair and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her and some of the men joined in.

One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!" he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag, pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he said and away she sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold
popped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got proof of
insurance? "Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out drink coaster and held
it up to him. Harold nodded and said "Carry on, ma'am."

As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Bill Clinton
stepped out in front of her, stark naked, with a noticeable erection.
"Oh, good grief," cried Ethel, "not the Breathalyzer test again!"

 

[Anonymous]

Too good, Arnold. Thought at first that it might have been a joke. Was this recently? Keep us posted. We'll put you in charge of the Clinton watch so we'll know when to lock up our girl kids and grannies. Probably better lock up the wives and girlfriends, too. Just not in the same room.