showing emotion

[HOSS]

For a great number of years after the war I was about as hard hearted as you can get, didn't really care about anyone else problems or feelings.More like a robot with no feelings.

But after marriage,children,and grandchildren I done a complete turnaround,and the older I get the more emotoinal I get.

Cal

Cal, my wife says that I have changed more with each military conflict that I have been involved in. We were engaged when I went to Panama for Operation Just Cause. She said I was less outgoing when I got back. The Desert Storm came along and she said that I changed again, more reclusive and quiet. Then Gulf War 2 came and I spent a year there during the worst of it. I know that changed me. I am not mean or disgruntled just more laid back and less inclined to go to parties, movies and laugh as much as before. I try to tell her that I feel like there is allot I need to tell her but I can't figure out how. That is how I feel but I don't know what it is that I would want to tell her :cry2: I know that don't make any sense. The good news is my once hot temper has turned into a more laid back guy. It takes allot to get my dander up but now when it is I am more calculating and extreme in my response.

 

[Calman]

Cal, my wife says that I have changed more with each military conflict that I have been involved in. We were engaged when I went to Panama for Operation Just Cause. She said I was less outgoing when I got back. The Desert Storm came along and she said that I changed again, more reclusive and quiet. Then Gulf War 2 came and I spent a year there during the worst of it. I know that changed me. I am not mean or disgruntled just more laid back and less inclined to go to parties, movies and laugh as much as before. I try to tell her that I feel like there is allot I need to tell her but I can't figure out how. That is how I feel but I don't know what it is that I would want to tell her :cry2: I know that don't make any sense. The good news is my once hot temper has turned into a more laid back guy. It takes allot to get my dander up but now when it is I am more calculating and extreme in my response.[/quote]

Hoss, I know your feelings exactly to the tee.
In combat you become more imune(sp) to things that would be just devestating for the average person to believe who has never seen combat.
Now in the here and now and back in the real life I don't think anyone that's never been in the same situation would even believe some of the stories I'd have that could be told even if I wanted to.

And on the other hand some of the going's on I would not dare speak of anyhow.
But trust me Hoss, it will work out the older you get. I have learned you can't forget it but you can learn to live with it.

Hope this makes sence. Cal

 

[pdfangus]

Hoss and Calman,

I thank both of you for your service to our country.

while I was a ground pounding 11 bravo spec 4 in 70 and 71, God somhow spared me from viet nam. Still don't understand it. Some have said that there was a reason I didn't go but in all these years I have never figured it out.

 

[Fred Belknap]

I to had the same situation. I was a spec 4 medic and was to be going to Vietnam after basic training. In basic training I dislocated my shoulder and the doctor advised me and the Army that I was not fit to go into combat so I was honorably discharged. I kick myself over it every day

That was caused by your mother praying.

 

[HOSS]

Cal, my wife says that I have changed more with each military conflict that I have been involved in. We were engaged when I went to Panama for Operation Just Cause. She said I was less outgoing when I got back. The Desert Storm came along and she said that I changed again, more reclusive and quiet. Then Gulf War 2 came and I spent a year there during the worst of it. I know that changed me. I am not mean or disgruntled just more laid back and less inclined to go to parties, movies and laugh as much as before. I try to tell her that I feel like there is allot I need to tell her but I can't figure out how. That is how I feel but I don't know what it is that I would want to tell her :cry2: I know that don't make any sense. The good news is my once hot temper has turned into a more laid back guy. It takes allot to get my dander up but now when it is I am more calculating and extreme in my response.

Hoss, I know your feelings exactly to the tee.
In combat you become more imune(sp) to things that would be just devestating for the average person to believe who has never seen combat.
Now in the here and now and back in the real life I don't think anyone that's never been in the same situation would even believe some of the stories I'd have that could be told even if I wanted to.

And on the other hand some of the going's on I would not dare speak of anyhow.
But trust me Hoss, it will work out the older you get. I have learned you can't forget it but you can learn to live with it.

Hope this makes sence. Cal[/quote]

Thanks Cal. It makes allot of sence. I don't talk about most of my experiences with my family outside of generalities. With other folks I don't say much because I am afraid they will either think I am bragging, exagerating or psycho. There are not too many outlets to unload. I still question some of the things I have done and how neccessary they were or if there were alternatives. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess.....at the time I did not feel I had choices. Unlike some folks I don't have many dreams anymore that plague me it's just a distant nawing down deep that never goes away. Most of the things will never be completely understood unless it is experienced so I don't really try to describe or explain it. Overall I feel pretty good and I am sure I will make it without going off any kind of deep end.

 

[warpaint]

Cal, my wife says that I have changed more with each military conflict that I have been involved in. We were engaged when I went to Panama for Operation Just Cause. She said I was less outgoing when I got back. The Desert Storm came along and she said that I changed again, more reclusive and quiet. Then Gulf War 2 came and I spent a year there during the worst of it. I know that changed me. I am not mean or disgruntled just more laid back and less inclined to go to parties, movies and laugh as much as before. I try to tell her that I feel like there is allot I need to tell her but I can't figure out how. That is how I feel but I don't know what it is that I would want to tell her :cry2: I know that don't make any sense. The good news is my once hot temper has turned into a more laid back guy. It takes allot to get my dander up but now when it is I am more calculating and extreme in my response.

Hoss, I know your feelings exactly to the tee.
In combat you become more imune(sp) to things that would be just devestating for the average person to believe who has never seen combat.
Now in the here and now and back in the real life I don't think anyone that's never been in the same situation would even believe some of the stories I'd have that could be told even if I wanted to.

And on the other hand some of the going's on I would not dare speak of anyhow.
But trust me Hoss, it will work out the older you get. I have learned you can't forget it but you can learn to live with it.

Hope this makes sence. Cal

Thanks Cal. It makes allot of sence. I don't talk about most of my experiences with my family outside of generalities. With other folks I don't say much because I am afraid they will either think I am bragging, exagerating or psycho. There are not too many outlets to unload. I still question some of the things I have done and how neccessary they were or if there were alternatives. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess.....at the time I did not feel I had choices. Unlike some folks I don't have many dreams anymore that plague me it's just a distant nawing down deep that never goes away. Most of the things will never be completely understood unless it is experienced so I don't really try to describe or explain it. Overall I feel pretty good and I am sure I will make it without going off any kind of deep end.[/quote]

Semper Fi to ya'll, no matter what branch you served.

Yes, I still dream, but I served to the best of my ability, and followed orders.

I'm resolved with that. Only God can judge me in the end.

To the original question, I'll say, I find myself alot more emotional, but only with my children. I hurt when they do.

Towards my wife and siblings, (who I love dearly), not as often as I should. We were never the huggy, touchy , feely kind.

 

[angie1]

Showing emotion in public? Sure as long as it remains respectful to others in the environment and appropriate to the situation. I have always been a feelings on my sleeve type of person, and have been told I am too empathtic. Maybe this is so, but I think it is better than apathy.

 

[Wewild]

In combat you become more imune(sp) to things that would be just devestating for the average person to believe who has never seen combat.
Now in the here and now and back in the real life I don't think anyone that's never been in the same situation would even believe some of the stories I'd have that could be told even if I wanted to. Cal

You might be surprised.

I do thank you all for your service for those that went in harms way and those that sat at home and wondered.

The stories may be different from the war perspective but they may be just as horrific in the eye of the beholder.

 

[dun]

Thanks Cal. It makes allot of sence. I don't talk about most of my experiences with my family outside of generalities. With other folks I don't say much because I am afraid they will either think I am bragging, exagerating or psycho. There are not too many outlets to unload. I still question some of the things I have done and how neccessary they were or if there were alternatives. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess.....at the time I did not feel I had choices. Unlike some folks I don't have many dreams anymore that plague me it's just a distant nawing down deep that never goes away. Most of the things will never be completely understood unless it is experienced so I don't really try to describe or explain it. Overall I feel pretty good and I am sure I will make it without going off any kind of deep end.

The best therapy for me was a Basset hound puppy that would listen to my inner thoughts and fears and never judge me. Talking baout it helped a lot and she was the only one that I ever talked to about it. Just gewtting the boogeymen out in the light makes a big difference, even if it is just with a dog

 

[Calman]

The worst part of it was trying to re-adjust to a normal life after returning.
When fighting to survive you will stop at nothing to remain alive,and keep your buddy alive.
You will react to a limit that don't even seem possible and do it automaticly without thinking it through.
Then you return and it's supposed to be all over.Like turning off a switch,and you are supposed to be normal again.
But you still have the memories,and you can't just turn them off.
Then you start to wonder if you act different and do people notice it.
And will you ever be normal again,and what is being normal anyhow?
You have too much time to think about every thing that happend.

A lot of my problem was,being responsible for my men,I had to make the decissions.
I took every loss personal.
Then upon returning I was blamed by my own country for my actions,and that didn't help either.

But life goes on. It will be 39yrs in october since I returned.
I have the most wonderfull wife,children and grandchildren and am a very happy man.
But I still, but not often have those moments alone thinking, What if? and Why?
It's called the 1000yard stare.But if I had it to do all over again,I would.

I'll quit now,and Thanks all for listning.

Cal

 

[dun]

Cal; as hard as it is/was for those that were there, think about how hard it is/was for the spouse that stayed in the states. I've often thought that the toughest job in the world is being a military wife. They have to take over everything at a moments notice, run things for a while, then be willing and able to turn the reins back over when the husband returns. Same applys to husbands of military women now, but my experience was in an earlier time when it was the wife that stayed home.

 

[novatech]

If someone shows their emotions for sadness or happiness it is OK with me. When someone cannot control their emotions when they are mad it really ticks me off. I yell, scream, stamp my feet and then I feel better. They need to control themselves. :lol:

 

[Calman]

Cal; as hard as it is/was for those that were there, think about how hard it is/was for the spouse that stayed in the states. I've often thought that the toughest job in the world is being a military wife. They have to take over everything at a moments notice, run things for a while, then be willing and able to turn the reins back over when the husband returns. Same applys to husbands of military women now, but my experience was in an earlier time when it was the wife that stayed home.

Right you are Dunn.
It takes a strong person either end of it.

Cal

 

[Wewild]

Cal; as hard as it is/was for those that were there, think about how hard it is/was for the spouse that stayed in the states. I've often thought that the toughest job in the world is being a military wife. They have to take over everything at a moments notice, run things for a while, then be willing and able to turn the reins back over when the husband returns. Same applys to husbands of military women now, but my experience was in an earlier time when it was the wife that stayed home.

Right you are Dunn.
It takes a strong person either end of it.

Cal

I guess it sounds different when Dun types it.

 

[HOSS]

Thanks Cal. It makes allot of sence. I don't talk about most of my experiences with my family outside of generalities. With other folks I don't say much because I am afraid they will either think I am bragging, exagerating or psycho. There are not too many outlets to unload. I still question some of the things I have done and how neccessary they were or if there were alternatives. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess.....at the time I did not feel I had choices. Unlike some folks I don't have many dreams anymore that plague me it's just a distant nawing down deep that never goes away. Most of the things will never be completely understood unless it is experienced so I don't really try to describe or explain it. Overall I feel pretty good and I am sure I will make it without going off any kind of deep end.

The best therapy for me was a Basset hound puppy that would listen to my inner thoughts and fears and never judge me. Talking baout it helped a lot and she was the only one that I ever talked to about it. Just gewtting the boogeymen out in the light makes a big difference, even if it is just with a dog

I do talk to my horse. I can tell she is listening cause she puts both ears back to listen better That is right before she pulls something silly just to let me know she disagrees with what I was saying.