Share Your Favorite Christmas Receipe

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cherokeeruby

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Christmas Cookies

1 cup of water
1 cup of sugar
4 large brown eggs
2 cups of dried fruit
1 teaspoon of salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
Nuts
1 bottle of whisky

Sample the whisky to check for quality. Take a large
bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it's the
highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter
in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and
beat again. Make sure the whisky is still OK.
Cry another tup. Tune up the mixer. Beat two eggs
and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried
fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fired druit gets
stuck in the beaterers, pry it goose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next,
sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain
your nuts. Add one table. Spoon the sugar or
something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven.
Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget
to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the
window. Check the whisky again and go to bed.
 

Caustic Burno

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cherokeeruby":xwv9t1g2 said:
Christmas Cookies

1 cup of water
1 cup of sugar
4 large brown eggs
2 cups of dried fruit
1 teaspoon of salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
Nuts
1 bottle of whisky

Sample the whisky to check for quality. Take a large
bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it's the
highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter
in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and
beat again. Make sure the whisky is still OK.
Cry another tup. Tune up the mixer. Beat two eggs
and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried
fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fired druit gets
stuck in the beaterers, pry it goose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next,
sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain
your nuts. Add one table. Spoon the sugar or
something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven.
Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget
to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the
window. Check the whisky again and go to bed.

I like that recipe ;-)
 

CattleAnnie

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Felt this should accompany Ruby's recipe.


Holiday Eating Tips


1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt
scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy.
Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your
eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other
people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.


Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.


Take care.
 

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