Sex On the Beach

[3waycross]

A man washed up on a beach after a shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. The sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.
�
After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling. A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. �
�
The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi. That evening, the man brought Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get those feelings again.
�
He fought the urges as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to Nancy and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.
�
He said, 'Take the dog for a walk.'

 

[John SD]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Alan]

:shock: :lol: :lol:

 

[TexasBred]

:lol: :lol: :clap: :clap: :lol: :lol: Outdid yourself on that one 3way.

 

[Workinonit Farm]

Good one!!

Katherine

 

[Hook]

That's awesome! Care if I steal it? Too bad lol

 

[slick4591]

:clap: :clap: :lol: :lol:

 

[jedstivers]

Just happened to get this about nancy yesterday. Don't know how much truth is in it.


NANCY'S JET IS GONE


It's Gone, gone, gone never to return.

Well, looks like the old broad of the House will have to pay her own way back
and forth to California (mexifornia).
The Air Force took her jet away from her.
Read the article below.

USAF TOOK NANCY 'S JET AWAY
(verified by Snopes)
The real reason that Nancy Pelosi is considering
retiring is that they took her Jet away. Ah, poor baby!
As a result of a Judicial Watch filing under the
Freedom of Information Act, the USAF released documents detailing House
Speaker Pelosi's use of United States Air Force aircraft between March
2009 and June 2010.
The data are published in the Judicial Watch
Verdict of December 2010, Volume 16, Issue 12.
Here are the main highlights revealed by the
USAF. Keep in mind that all the data below relate to United States Air
Force aircraft used by one woman over a sixteen month period.
Several of these flights included Ms. Pelosi's
guests, such as grown children, grandchildren, various in-laws, friends
and hangers-on. Over 95% of the trips were between the west coast and
Washington DC , for what you might call a commute between home and the
office.
READ it and WEEP!!
Total trips: 85 over a 68 week period, or 1.25
average trips per week.
Total mileage: 206,264 miles, or 2,427 average
miles per trip.
Total flying time: 428.6 hours, or an average of 5
hours per trip.
Cost to the taxpayers: $2,100,744, or $27,715
per trip, or $1,285,162 per year!
Cost of in flight food and alcohol: $101,429;
$1,193 per trip; $62,051 per year.
On one junket to Baghdad, according to the Air
Force report, she had the
aircraft bar stocked with Johnny Walker Red
Scotch, Grey Goose Vodka, E&J Brandy, Bailey's Irish Cream, Maker's
Mark Whiskey, Courvoisier Cognac, Bacardi Rum, Jim Beam Whiskey, Beefeater
Gin, Dewar's Scotch, Bombay
Sapphire Gin, Jack Daniels Whiskey, Corona
Beer and several varieties of wine.
This was obviously a very important "gubment
bidness" trip.
Evidence generally speaks for itself, and in Ms.
Pelosi's case it speaks the language of abuse and (evidently) a serious
familial drinking problem, for in a single year she and her spawn drank an
amount in excess of the net income of the average employed American!
When she said, "... If the stimulus doesn't
pass, five hundred million people might lose their jobs...", I thought she
was unintentionally revealing her ignorance.
I'm now more inclined to think she was pickled.
Even though she can no longer abuse the USAF,
she can either fly on her broom, or fly Southwest Airlines, where bags fly
free.
If you are an AMERICAN citizen it is YOUR DUTY
to PASS THIS ON!!
Because, you won't see this
reported on MSNBC.
http://www.judicialwatch.org/press-room ... -aircraft/



=

 

[3waycross]

Good one Jed :tiphat:

 

[red angus 2010]

As tight as the plastic surgeon has pulled that face and shot it full of Botox I don't believe she could "bat her eyelashes". I keep waiting for her to say "All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up"

 

[greybeard]

Are you saying she has had cosmetic surgery and still looks like that?? She deserves a refund.
100 miles of bad road looks better.

 

[Jogeephus]

Poor Nancy. Has anyone checked to see if its true that her parents had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get their dog to play with her? I'm thinking its true but can't validate it.

 

[Ouachita]

Poor Nancy. Has anyone checked to see if its true that her parents had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get their dog to play with her? I'm thinking its true but can't validate it.

She's not the only one. Why are the most prominent liberal/progressives butt ugly? In contrast, look at the more prominent conservative women. Something in the wood pile way back. Lends credence to the theory of the lazy girlie men becoming the fetchers, hairdressers; eventually evolving in to modern day democrats.

 

[greybeard]

Poor Nancy. Has anyone checked to see if its true that her parents had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get their dog to play with her? I'm thinking its true but can't validate it.

She's not the only one. Why are the most prominent liberal/progressives butt ugly? In contrast, look at the more prominent conservative women. Something in the wood pile way back. Lends credence to the theory of the lazy girlie men becoming the fetchers, hairdressers; eventually evolving in to modern day democrats.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg could stop a freight train.

 

[Ouachita]

Poor Nancy. Has anyone checked to see if its true that her parents had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get their dog to play with her? I'm thinking its true but can't validate it.

She's not the only one. Why are the most prominent liberal/progressives butt ugly? In contrast, look at the more prominent conservative women. Something in the wood pile way back. Lends credence to the theory of the lazy girlie men becoming the fetchers, hairdressers; eventually evolving in to modern day democrats.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg could stop a freight train.

At least one person has a sense of humor tonight. I was thinking Janet Napolatano and the lucky gal that took her to prom

 

[dun]

They're the type that can make time stand still, or more accuartely their face could stop a clock