Regional or Universal Quotables

[kjones]

As excited as a bus load of fat women on their way to a Ricky Martin show.

As frustrated as a deaf mute playing bingo, getting bingo, and trying to holler out bingo.

 

[redneckcowgirlmn]

He 'ain't got a lick of sense!

not the brightest crayon in the box.(have a friend we all call "Periwinkle")

All his dogs don't bark.

This one cracks me up..."Well slap my A** and call me Fanny!"

 

[ALACOWMAN]

He 'ain't got a lick of sense!

not the brightest crayon in the box.(have a friend we all call "Periwinkle")

All his dogs don't bark.

This one cracks me up..."Well slap my A** and call me Fanny!"

may i :cowboy:

 

[redneckcowgirlmn]

Which one, the slap or the name calling, LOL!

 

[Rancher6]

He/She is sorrier than hammered dog $hit

 

[Rancher6]

Dad used to tell us "When you are too old to get a spanking you are old enough to back your mouth up"

 

[dun]

If you don;t stop crying I'll give you something to cry about!

 

[Tealduck]

She looks like she's been rode hard and put up wet

ugly as homemade sin

he ain't worth wasting a bullet on

a man in a white jacket is coming for you and it won't be the Good Humor man

cold as a well diggers a$$

he's so sorry he should have died when he was big enough to hung with a pea vine

he looks like he got beat with an ugly stick

Duck

 

[fit2btied]

Every time he inhales, it's a waste of good air.

He should be put on the 'do not feed' list.

 

[Auburn_Ag]

Women are like parking spaces at Wal-mart,
All the good ones are taken
And what is left is either handicapped or so far out there out there you don’t want them.

I am sure this holds true for both sexes!

 

[Jake]

haven't read them all so sorry if this is a repeat

"hotter than a goat's ass in a pepper patch"

"makes bout as much sense as jackin off a pissed off bobcat with a handful of cockleburs"

 

[TLCfromARK]

If boat rides were a dime I'd be standing on the bank saying ain't that cheap.

A dollar waiting on a dime.

I'd like to buy him / her for what they're worth and sell them for what they think they're worth.

When he shakes his head his brain sounds like a BB rolling around in a shoe box.

;-)

 

[Victoria]

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Beauty is as beauty does.

The proof is in the pudding. (One of my mother's favourites talking about how you can't judge a cow until she's had a calf).

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Take a polaroid, it lasts longer.

If you always tell the truth you never have to remember anything.

My Grandmother always used to quote Shakespeare. "All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players, they have their exits and their entrances and one man in his time plays many parts..." I still say "Bubble, bubble toil and trouble, cauldron burn and cauldron bubble" everytime I boil water, wonder if it is as annoying for my husband as it can be for me?!