Quotes from Intelligent People about Toilet Paper

[Chuckie]

Sheryl Crow and Laurie David riding around in a bus doing their bit to convince people that man and cattle flatulance are destroying this planet. Laurie David is one of the producers of Al Gore's film "Inconvenient Truth".

"One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required."

 

[john250]

Sheryl Crow and Laurie David riding around in a bus doing their bit to convince people that man and cattle flatulance are destroying this planet. Laurie David is one of the producers of Al Gore's film "Inconvenient Truth".

"One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required."

It's obvious that whoever you are quoting never drank 15 Strohs in an evening. Not that I would know, but some friends of mine...

 

[Chuckie]

He-He!!!!!

 

[Gate Opener]

I heard that on the news this morning. I wouldn't want to be shaking hands with someone who only uses on square. :shock:

 

[*Cowgirl*]

:secret:

 

[VanC]

I thought you said they were intelligent. ;-)

 

[Workinonit Farm]

Yeah, I heard about that on the news radio staion I listen to. I think it was after Paul Harvey talking about a theiving cat.

One to three squares :shock: . I suggest she try it first before trying to get everyone else to try it. :lol:

Katherine

 

[Oldtimer]

A few years back I proposed to the State Legislature (that was in an argument over what could be included in a sales tax as luxuries and what was necessities) to throw out the property tax, the liquor tax, the tobacco tax, and the income tax and replace it all with a salestax on toilet paper-- which is not an absolute necessity (still have corncobs, straw, short ends of the stick, and catalogs), but a widely used luxury....A nickel per roll tax would have replaced all current state taxes and raised a large amount of additional income for the state- while working to save the environment.... :roll:

But then I was told it would never work and would be ruled unconstitutional because it would be ruled discriminatory against women since they need it twice as many times as men.. :shock: ;-) :lol:

 

[Txwalt]

Just like al gore telling us about global warming while flying around in a private jet. rosie odonell telling us to hang dry our clothes when she gets hers dry cleaned. All these folks telling us what we need to do are doing most of the polluting. I don't think sheryl crow is driving around on her bus tour in a big wheel. Whatever happen to those anyway.

Walt

 

[Chuckie]

They can do one of two things. Wipe with one square, then fold it for each additional pass.

I guess this means rolling yards is out!!!
Chuckie

 

[Earl Thigpen]

Reminds me of the one where the military are trying to teach conservation to a bunch of recruits. "Fold one sheet of toilet paper to make a point in the middle of the sheet. Pinch out a piece of paper at the point and put the small piece in your pocket - save it, it will be needed later.

What you have left is a single sheet of toilet paper with a hole in the middle of it. Now, stick one of your fingers through the hole (pick your favorite finger) and proceed to wipe. Fold the single sheet up and around the finger and remove the finger from the hole. This technique removes the offensive material from the finger without soiling the other digits.

Now, remember the tiny piece of paper you removed from the center? Take that piece and clean the offending material from under your fingernail".

One more. On the subject of corn cobs you always need three cobs, two reds and a white. Why, you may ask?

Use the first red cob. Check with the white one to see if you need the third red one.

 

[backhoeboogie]

I thought you said they were intelligent. ;-)

Exactly what I was thinking. Sounds like they are on some serious medication. If not, perhaps they should be.

 

[Gate Opener]

Reminds me of the one where the military are trying to teach conservation to a bunch of recruits. "Fold one sheet of toilet paper to make a point in the middle of the sheet. Pinch out a piece of paper at the point and put the small piece in your pocket - save it, it will be needed later.

What you have left is a single sheet of toilet paper with a hole in the middle of it. Now, stick one of your fingers through the hole (pick your favorite finger) and proceed to wipe. Fold the single sheet up and around the finger and remove the finger from the hole. This technique removes the offensive material from the finger without soiling the other digits.

Now, remember the tiny piece of paper you removed from the center? Take that piece and clean the offending material from under your fingernail".

One more. On the subject of corn cobs you always need three cobs, two reds and a white. Why, you may ask?

Use the first red cob. Check with the white one to see if you need the third red one.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[mdmdogs3]

I'm never shaking another person's hand again!

 

[msscamp]

I'm never shaking another person's hand again!

Ah, but mdm, there are far worse things than shaking hands in this scenario! :lol: :lol: :lol: