Crowderfarms
Well-known member
>Presidential Address
> >
> > WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
> >
> > My Fellow Americans:
> >
> > As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since
>congress does not want to spend any more money on this
> > war, our mission in Iraq is now complete.
> > This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
>forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days.
> > It is now to begin the reckoning.
> > Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
>which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This
> > list is short.
> > The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of
>the countries listed there.
> > The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
>world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
> > distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
> > Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to
>those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money
> > saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of
>the Iraqi war.
> > The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
>Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on
> > Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
> > In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
>money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
> > On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
>will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of
> the earth.
> > Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
> > To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace
>deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to
>Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables,
>too. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
>France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are
>retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
> > I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
>UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
>parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded
>and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You
>creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets
>tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over
>to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York .
> > A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
>likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try
>not pissing us off for a change.
> > Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt
>government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra
>tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put
>em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.
> > Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty -
>starting now.
> > We are tired of the one-way highway. It is time for America to focus on
>its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism.
>I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."
> > Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
>world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the
>planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
>homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from
>America. < /FONT>
>To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we
>won't forget.
> > To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
> > God bless America.
> > Thank you and good night.
> > If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English,
>thank a soldier.
> >
> > WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
> >
> > My Fellow Americans:
> >
> > As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since
>congress does not want to spend any more money on this
> > war, our mission in Iraq is now complete.
> > This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
>forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days.
> > It is now to begin the reckoning.
> > Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
>which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This
> > list is short.
> > The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of
>the countries listed there.
> > The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
>world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
> > distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
> > Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to
>those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money
> > saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of
>the Iraqi war.
> > The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
>Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on
> > Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
> > In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
>money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
> > On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
>will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of
> the earth.
> > Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
> > To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace
>deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to
>Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables,
>too. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
>France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are
>retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
> > I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
>UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
>parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded
>and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You
>creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets
>tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over
>to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York .
> > A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
>likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try
>not pissing us off for a change.
> > Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt
>government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra
>tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put
>em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.
> > Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty -
>starting now.
> > We are tired of the one-way highway. It is time for America to focus on
>its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism.
>I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."
> > Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
>world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the
>planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
>homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from
>America. < /FONT>
>To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we
>won't forget.
> > To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
> > God bless America.
> > Thank you and good night.
> > If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English,
>thank a soldier.
