Parents learn a LOT when they have sons... like

[Tommy Ruyle]

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11.) 'Play Dough' and 'microwave' should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super Glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject PB &J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid :lol:

 

[Aaron]

#17 seems like the perfect solution to prank on a real uptight car owner. :cowboy:

 

[Lammie]

#18 is my house. My son broke a rotten egg in the house once. The smell hit me before I ever made it in the door.

A five year old will chase an 11 year old with scissors if you make him mad enough. Caught that one in the act, too.

 

[backhoeboogie]

When you crank the truck up and it makes terrible rattling noises, don't panic. It is just the wrenches and sockets you couldn't find for the last hour. Your grandson has tucked them up the tail pipe.

 

[CKC1586]

26. If you pile up some cement blocks and boards to make a ramp you can jump your Mom's car with your bike, the neighbor kids will cheer... they won't tell your Mom.

 

[jedstivers]

cool :banana:

 

[ga. prime]

...if you throw cans of carburetor cleaner in a camp fire, you'll be finding cans with the bottom neatly blown off at the safety seal for the next several years all over the woods.

 

[grand chaser09]

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
yes yes they will!

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
so is a little girls

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
i tried this when i was little

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
very true.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
smoke makes the barn really dark and it smells funny.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11.) 'Play Dough' and 'microwave' should not be used in the same sentence.
kinda want to try this now. but toy soldier shouldnt be used with microwave either

12.) Super Glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
but if its alot of corn starch then you can!!

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
they probably wont like corn starch either

15.) VCR's do not eject PB &J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
nor do umbrellas!

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
you never ever want to know

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
very dizzy

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
smells really bad if it get in dryer

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid :lol:

you dont have to have kids... just need a little brother. :lol2:

 

[KNERSIE]

#18 is my house. My son broke a rotten egg in the house once. The smell hit me before I ever made it in the door.

A five year old will chase an 11 year old with scissors if you make him mad enough. Caught that one in the act, too.

My late uncle always used to say that the two most dangerous things for a little boy are a pair of scissors and a grandmother.

 

[Keren]

#18 is my house. My son broke a rotten egg in the house once. The smell hit me before I ever made it in the door.

A five year old will chase an 11 year old with scissors if you make him mad enough. Caught that one in the act, too.

A four year old will hit a twelve year old in the back with a hammer if you make him mad enough

 

[chrisy]

and Tom Boy daughters.... :lol: :lol: :lol:

a little sister will chase a big brother down the street with an axe in her hand, while bigger brother chases her, and thankfully pulls the axe away. (if he hadn't I would have only one brother now).

the fan can take a sling with a mouse in it.

#19 nor do glass fronted gas fires. (my son 3 at the time. dropped his toy car inside the fire, we all went outside while the thing melted away and the toxic fumes died down. that was fine until he desided to follow me in and push me over to find his car and burnt his hand on the glass, and was in hospital for a week with no skin on the palm of his little hand and finger tips) needless to say we do not have that fire anymore. we did always have a guard againt the thing to.

 

[Tod Dague]

That is so funny! I was about to get the brake fluid. My wife won't let me. :cry2:

 

[Jogeephus]

No matter the color no matter the style, parachutes won't carry young boys off the roof to wonderous places. Mary Poppins was a sham.

 

[Calman]

I was leaning over the fender of my car working on it,and felt something warm around my foot.
Turned out my little nephew decieded a good place to P was down my boot.

Cal

 

[3waycross]

26. If you pile up some cement blocks and boards to make a ramp you can jump your Mom's car with your bike, the neighbor kids will cheer... they won't tell your Mom.

They won't need to, the screams can be heard for miles, and the Hospital bill will be staggering. Don't ask me how I know. Boy am I glad those boys are raised.

 

[FarmGirl10]

Your missing the best one's

A .270 shooting a jug full of gas with a rag on fire behind it will make a loud bang, start a compost pile on fire, and make a perfect smoke ring that will black out the sun. This will make a much louder bang than shooting a full can of either with a fire behind it. :lol:

Girls will come up with ingenious idea's on how to do what they want without breaking rules.

At the fair one year i got into trouble and had to be in the camper at midnight, the parents didn't come up that night so my oldest brother was in charge of enforcing this. Well, I found a good party and didn't want to leave, but i didn't want to make my brother lie for me or get in trouble. So I left the party at 5 till with some of my friends, they thought the party would get moved to my camper... Well that didn't happen, instead I waited till 12:01 and left again. I was in the camper at midnight like I was supposed to be and they weren't specific enough to tell me that I had to stay in the camper. :lol: For those of you with kids, let this be a lesson, you have to be really specific.

 

[chrisy]

guns make a nasty hole in little sisters knees, I still bare the scar, lucky to still have a leg without a limp and a knee that sort of works. That's one reason I am not to keen on guns, but in the right hands they can be OK!.

 

[CKC1586]

26. If you pile up some cement blocks and boards to make a ramp you can jump your Mom's car with your bike, the neighbor kids will cheer... they won't tell your Mom.

They won't need to, the screams can be heard for miles, and the Hospital bill will be staggering. Don't ask me how I know. Boy am I glad those boys are raised.

Well I didn't learn about the car jumping for many years. On his 12th birthday he did end up in the hospital with 75 stitches in his leg, basically fileted his calf to the bone when he decided it would be cool to see how far he could jump his bike into the lake riding it off the dock. He made it quite far, only problem was that he was heavier than the bike and he went into the water then the bike went in onto his leg, the c bracket thing that held the the back tire sliced his leg.

 

[1982vett]

and Tom Boy daughters.... :lol: :lol: :lol:

a little sister will chase a big brother down the street with an axe in her hand, while bigger brother chases her, and thankfully pulls the axe away. (if he hadn't I would have only one brother now).

.

guns make a nasty hole in little sisters knees, I still bare the scar, lucky to still have a leg without a limp and a knee that sort of works. That's one reason I am not to keen on guns, but in the right hands they can be OK!.

Geez chrisy, axes and gunfights? I'm glad you grew up way of there and not next door. :shock: :lol:

 

[chrisy]

and Tom Boy daughters.... :lol: :lol: :lol:

a little sister will chase a big brother down the street with an axe in her hand, while bigger brother chases her, and thankfully pulls the axe away. (if he hadn't I would have only one brother now).

.

guns make a nasty hole in little sisters knees, I still bare the scar, lucky to still have a leg without a limp and a knee that sort of works. That's one reason I am not to keen on guns, but in the right hands they can be OK!.

Geez chrisy, axes and gunfights? I'm glad you grew up way of there and not next door. :shock: :lol:

there were a few more, me and my brother didn't like each other when we were kids and were always fighting, our Mum couldn't leave us in the same room for more than a minute, now we are best of friends and laugh about it, but I'm sure it was no laughing matter for our poor Mum, Dad and Big Brother at the time. The therapist told my mum it was a very bad case of middle child and baby syndrome.