Pa Sleeps Naked

[TexasBred]

"Late again," the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy.

"It ain't my fault this time, Miss Crabtree.. You can blame this'un on my Daddy. The reason I'm three
hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!"

Now, Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for thirty-some-odd years. Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Sammy what he meant by that.

Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, little Sammy and trouble were old friends, but he always told her the truth.

"You see, Miss Crabtree, out at the ranch we got this here low down coyote. The last few nights, he done ate six hens and killed Ma's best milk goat. Last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his shot gun and said to Ma,

'That coyote's back again, I'm a gonna git him!' 'Stay back,' he whispered to all us kids!"

"He was naked as a jaybird, no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on
the snoop. Then, he stuck that double barreled 12 gauge shotgun through the window of the coop."

"As he stared into the darkness, with coyotes on his mind, our old hound dog, Zeke, had done woke up and comes sneaking' up behind Daddy. Then, as we all looked on, plumb helpless, old Zeke stuck his cold nose on Daddy's butt!"

"Miss Crabtree, we all been cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin'!"

 

[HOSS]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I know guy...big tough logger...who claimed to have only felt pain twice in his life. The first time was when he was out in the woods and had to answer natures call. He dropped his overalls and squatted down by a tree. He did not see the bear trap until it snapped on the "boys". He said the second time he felt pain was when he ran out of chain......

 

[curtis]

Hound dogs will do that. :nod: I had an old Walker hound that was the best in the world at cold nosing.
One time the preachers wife came to visit my wife. I stood in the shed and thought this is going to be comical and this will be a visit you won't soon forget. When she got out of her car the old hound (Kingfish) slipped up behind her and stuck his long cold nose under her dress all the way to her butt.
She squealed like a pig under the gate and i think she pee-ed down both legs. The old dog just looked at her like---Whats wrong with you?
I came out of the shed and apologized to the sweet lady and with a little grin scolded Kingfish for doing such a thing.
Kingfish, where are your manners? please don't do that again.
The old dog had a reputation all over the community where we lived. Anytime women pulled into the drive they would always ask, where's Kingfish before they got out .
That was the first and last time the preachers wife was at our house.
I sure do miss that old dog. :nod:

 

[curtis]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I know guy...big tough logger...who claimed to have only felt pain twice in his life. The first time was when he was out in the woods and had to answer natures call. He dropped his overalls and squatted down by a tree. He did not see the bear trap until it snapped on the "boys". He said the second time he felt pain was when he ran out of chain......

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[rusty]

You know whats worse than zipping your privates up in your zipper? Having to unzip.

 

[jedstivers]

You know whats worse than zipping your privates up in your zipper? Having to unzip.

Yeah, because you now whats coming. :help: