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Our version of a Bail Out

Wewild

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I was glad to hear that a family we had helped out would be able to pay back next week.

I am sure they are proud to be able to do that. I am happy for them. The money will go back in the pot for others.

Some how the last post got locked.

Never give expecting a return.
 

bigbull338

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if we help some1 out we never expect anything in return.such as money.unless it was a loan.im like my dad i wont give any1 cash.but ill pay for a tank of gas an buy them something to eat.
 

Wewild

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bigbull338":3qzf9huy said:
if we help some1 out we never expect anything in return.such as money.unless it was a loan.im like my dad i wont give any1 cash.but ill pay for a tank of gas an buy them something to eat.


I hope we all have our friends that exchange work and fellowship without a thought.

My dad use to make loans. He had a book on me on how much I cost him to go to college. He always believed in loans and a strict payback for most but not on me.

My mother taught me and I have seen the results of loans without the requirements my father was taught to use. I have a hard time balancing this obvious difference in my raising.

I was happy that mother's last loan/gift was payed back and that's why this was posted. I didn't think they would pay it back but mother did. I was happy for them for what happened to them in the time we were able to help them. It didn't matter as it was already written of as bad debt as it should be when money is exchange when there really isn't any logical way this debt will be resolved in the usual manner without a hope and a prayer.

I am proud of my mother's way. It really ain't got **** to do with me except that maybe I learned a little from her point of view.
 

Jogeephus

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Wewild":2hb43u3y said:
Never give expecting a return.

I agree. A gift is a gift and a loan is a loan. Two different things entirely. Best gifts are anonymous but this isn't always possible. Had an odd thing happen this week which falls in line with your post. We helped a young girl buy her books two years ago so she could go to school and better herself. This was a gift. She insisted on paying the money back when she could. She gave some along and along but we fell out of touch and haven't heard from her in months. The other day a girl that works with my wife was fired. Long story but she did not deserve this. Anyhow, my wife had a grocery store gift card with about $40 on it and she gave it to the girl and told her she hoped it would help her and her family out. The next day my wife went into work and there was a thank you card on her desk from the girl we helped with her books. Inside was $40 which is the balance of the book money. She is now has a degree and is doing well for herself. To me, the character of this girl encourages me to continue giving and helping when and where I can.
 

grannysoo

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How true Jo.

A gift is a gift - A loan is a loan.

Perhaps our foolishness rears its ugly head at times when we help people, but here's the way I look at it:

If they can live with it - I can live without it.

Food for thought.........
 

Jogeephus

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I think there is a line of character difference between when someone truly needs something versus when someone just wants something. Looking back on the times that I have been used it appears this has been true. Discerning the difference between these types can be hard at times cause some of them are institutional wanters and know exactly what to say. I think this is another good reason to be anonymous.
 

Wewild

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There is a difference in wants and needs. The intent of this was based on needs. It is best to not count on timely repayment when folks are in need. Some folks won't come back at all. That hasn't happen often but there has been years at times many years in between. In the end it seems they feel compelled at sometime to do the right thing. If they don't it it really doesn't matter to us as it really is on them.

We aren't in the position to finance wants to much. There are banks for that but we have when it was something we had and they wanted.

Gifts are a little different than a Christmas gift it seems.

There could be a lot of differences in semantics of what each person thinks about when considering gifts and loans.
 

Jogeephus

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Wewild":33pw4351 said:
There is a difference in wants and needs. The intent of this was based on needs. It is best to not count on timely repayment when folks are in need. Some folks won't come back at all. That hasn't happen often but there has been years at times many years in between. In the end it seems they feel compelled at sometime to do the right thing. If they don't it it really doesn't matter to us as it really is on them.


This is just my opinion but I think many people confuse their wants with actual needs. Its been my observation that the people who truly need something are the last ones to ask for help since they will take extreme measures to do without so as to maintain their self dignity. These are the type of people who will pay back loans and even feel obligated to repay gifts. They appreciate help and any help given them is truly appreciated. These are the people I feel compelled to help but they are also the hardest to identify as they are inherently under the radar so to speak.

On the other side of the coin are the people whose wants outweigh their pocket book and they get themselves in trouble. While their troubles are real most are avoidable and yet they do not seem to learn from the error of their ways.

Last week, a woman was in the grocery store with her children. She was being very careful with what she was buying and was adding things up as she went on a piece of paper. When she got to the counter she asked the cashier to stop ringing things up if it went over X amount. The cashier told her it didn't matter, her groceries were paid for by the man that had just left the store. I believe, this type act is contagious. It cannot be institutionalized but it can spread. I don't know the lady but I will bet my last dollar she will return the kindness to someone else at some time. And if you think this through and think of the exponential effect this type anonymous gift can have then it is all the more obvious why anonymous gifts are so very important. In the very least, they will make at least two people happy. JMO
 

Wewild

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Jogeephus":z3hnrojx said:
T I don't know the lady but I will bet my last dollar she will return the kindness to someone else at some time. And if you think this through and think of the exponential effect this type anonymous gift can have then it is all the more obvious why anonymous gifts are so very important. In the very least, they will make at least two people happy. JMO

I agree. Have been to the Kmart on Christmas Eve and seen the smile on a young child when her mother could get her a bike for Christmas. They had been looking not really shopping. The kid never new a thing but it was impossible for the mother not too. Anyway it was more important for the kid to think her mother was doing it for her.

I think random act of kindness don't always require monetary exchanges. I feel I have been raised to appreciate how much this can mean to folks whether they are in need or in a position to exercise compassion/kindness to the extent they are capable.
 

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