Old Stories

[Bez__]

A couple of old stories I found while looking for some info - perhaps a few of the newer folks might like them - and yes, they are both very real and very true:

Story #1
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by Bez » Thu Aug 19, 2004 2:25 am

A couple of years ago we had an older cow that came down with a suspected case of hardware. She was a cross between a Hereford and a Simmental. She was a large girl and at times was known to have attitude.

So, we rounded her up and put her in the squeeze to feed her the magnet.

My neighbour Andy - he's been around cows since "Christ was a cowboy" - was helping me.

She was a little tough to handle in the squeeze so I put my trusty rope around her horns so she couldn't swipe anyone with them while she "resisted" the procedure.

While she was unable to move her head from side to side, she was able to move it up and down.

Me being the bigger and stronger of the two legged animals trying to help this old witch - I decided to put my shoulder under her chin in order to straighten out her wind pipe and make it easier for Andy to insert the balling gun.

I get this girl stretched out and ... well, she's a bit upset with us. So Andy gets the gun way down inside her throat and ... well, Andy is somewhat vertically challenged and I am a bit over six feet. So he has to really reach for the plunger to set the magnet free on it's road to a new home.

Well, he can't quite reach the plunger with his thumb while he is holding it with his hand. So, he takes a little jump and hits the plunger with his other hand.

Pop! He knocked the whole thing - gun and magnet down her throat! This gun is a real nice and far too expensive piece of equipment to see go down into the stomach of an animal I am rapidly beginning to dislike.

The look on his face was priceless! Pure horror.

Be that as it may, I kept her stretched out while we discussed how we were going to retrieve the darned thing. Shoot her and butcher her? Nope she's got a decent calf in the field and I am finished with pail bunting.

Can we reach it? Andy goes and gets the step ladder. Maybe it's only down inside her mouth a bit. All this time he is apologizing profusely and swearing he has never done something this stupid before.

Ever try to force a cows mouth open so you can see down her throat? I'd appreciate you letting me know how it went if you tried it sometime and were successful.

The old girl is now making my life somewhat difficult because the knots I tied were not intended to last forever - just a couple of seconds - and she is starting to get a bit of sideways motion going.

Now Andy is starting to feel her throat to see if it has gone all the way down - that way I can at least let her head down. This was a metal gun and I was afraid she would damage her throat if it was part way down and she bent her neck.

Andy is now sweating profusely, his voice is a notch higher in pitch and I can see a bit of panic beginning to set in.

All the time I am telling him this is my prize cow and I am terribly worried.

Even though I was having a tough time with the old girl, I was beginning to get just a tiny bit of enjoyment out of his discomfort!

Then, as if she decided enough was enough, the cow spit it up. I heard it rattle on her teeth. Quick as a snake Andy drove his hand down the side of her mouth and retrieved the gun!

Moral of the story?

If you have to work at great heights with someone like Andy, make sure you tie a string to the gun!

Best regards

Bez

Story #2
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by Bez » Thu Aug 19, 2004 10:23 am

Man oh man - where do I start?

The latest was this Spring.

Wife and I were out looking for newborns in the willow patch. It's about 20 acres of low ground and we call it hospital corner because nearly every cow in our herd goes there to give birth.

It's pretty thick and the ground is dry and cool - perfect for those requiring a little privacy.

Wife has the "tag bag" with vitamins and selenium and so on. I am carrying a cane and a rope. It's a great day and we are actually just going for a walk - having a little chat and we even brought a thermos of coffee to enjoy while we sit on "the rock" in the middle of this ground. A perfect place to spot cows and calves.

Well, number 95 was obviously calved out - but we could never find her calf. We are now a week into looking for it. The calf is obviously sucking the cow, but she has it hid real good.

About 1500 hours I spotted her walking into the bush from the north pasture. I gave wife a nudge and told her we might get a chance to tag her calf today. Wife just grins and says - "We've never been successful with this cow in all the years we owned her - why today?"

Me - "Just a feeling."

So we sat there for about another 30 minutes and watch her leave the far side.

I waited about 30 minutes more and said - "Time for a walk - it's probably napping now."

Shaking her head, wife follows meekly along.

Found the not so little guy sleeping in the thickest part of the bush. No chance for a rope so I snuck up and hooked it with the cane handle. All heck breaks loose, but I wrestle it to the ground and wife prepares the syringe of selenium and the tag.

I always inject first and tag last. Calf has calmed down big time and I'm getting a little braver. So I let off of my death grip to take the needle from wife. Just as I prepare to give this guy a good start on life he bucks, I trip on a root - fall hard to the ground and immediately inject the entire 2 cc's of selenium and vitamin B into my jaw.

As I lay there on the ground, calf walks off and and gives me a dirty look. Wife looks at me and says in a very calm and matter of fact manner - "I wonder if that is going to help you tonight, or if you need to go to the hospital.

So, with a sore jaw and a non-sympathetic wife we walk back to the house. Wife calls the veterinarian. Now Ian is a great animal doctor, but his bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired. After he stopped laughing, which was a long time - he said he did not know if it was going to be a problem or not. So, he called the local hospital and talked with Ginnette - who just happens to live on the farm about three miles south of us.

Another not so sympathetic laughing matter apparently ocurred. Then Ginnette called me at the house. By now, swelling has started to go down as I have been applying ice. Wife answers the phone and the laughing starts again.

So much for professional medical opinions!

Anyway, it turns out the selenium does no harm and the vitamin B is good for you. And every time I go to the local feed store I get snickers from the help. Still not sure how they found out.

I am now 0 and 5 for tagging that cows babies. I don't think I am even going to try next year.

Best regards,

Bez

 

[M5farm]

Very good BEZ, I enjoyed that a lot. Hope your doing well. One question I don't know that has been asked and I read where you only have a few cows left. Do you have any of them little black baldies running around yet????? you should have something to remember that ANGUS bull by.

 

[Nesikep]

Very good stories!

#1, We had a cow go down in the chute while dehorning... ended up bleeding out.. Now whenever I work a cow I have a couple lift straps laid down first so at least there's something underneath her I can lift on. I did try to look in my old cow's mouth to see if I could float her teeth, so I have an idea about how difficult that can be!

#2 Are you SURE that calf needed any vitamin shots? Sure doesn't sound like it! Our place isn't as big, and doesn't have the same kind of hiding places for calves, but some still manage... We had a couple calves that would jump through the electric fence, and completely disappear.. we searched high and low.. Turns out he was snuggled up in some tall grass.. right against the house!

 

[backhoeboogie]

Thank you Bez. Now the whole world knows. As if it mattered any

 

[Williamsv]

Good stories. I needed a good laugh. Thanks for sharing.

 

[tamarack]

Bez, I have a story about Eldon and I processing cows at his place on the hill. Eldon had an old squeeze that had seen its better days. Well we got a rather wild cow in and Eldon tightened her up and turned to say something to me when the cow went to bucking in the chute and the catch that fit into the tightening lever came loose and the lever popped up rather forcefully right on Eldons eye tooth laid him out cold. When he come to I took him to hospital and they checked him out and said he needed a dentist so I got the old dentist out that evening and they had to pull his tooth that was lodged in his sinus. We went home and finished processing the cows. Eldon didn't eat much for supper that night,he sure was a tough son of a gun. In the time I knew him I ended up taking him to hospital 2 more times.

 

[branguscowgirl]

Great stories!

 

[Bez__]

Bez, I have a story about Eldon and I processing cows at his place on the hill. Eldon had an old squeeze that had seen its better days. Well we got a rather wild cow in and Eldon tightened her up and turned to say something to me when the cow went to bucking in the chute and the catch that fit into the tightening lever came loose and the lever popped up rather forcefully right on Eldons eye tooth laid him out cold. When he come to I took him to hospital and they checked him out and said he needed a dentist so I got the old dentist out that evening and they had to pull his tooth that was lodged in his sinus. We went home and finished processing the cows. Eldon didn't eat much for supper that night,he sure was a tough son of a gun. In the time I knew him I ended up taking him to hospital 2 more times.

Hi tamarack

I am hoping to hit the Peace country this coming late summer if I can get a little better healed up - have not told Val and Allan yet in event it does not happen - but if I do, you better plan on getting together for a burger and a beer somewhere.

When I was living in that little house on top of Dunvegan Hill, Eldon had a calf born with a bad back leg and he gave it to my wife to bottle feed - cost me an arm and a leg - and he thought it was quite funny! I ragged on him for weeks about that.

One thing that I remember about him was his ability to pick out a good calf. He sold one to my oldest daughter and she won everything in northern Alberta with that calf - when she went to pay him the money he only took half of the agreed upon amount - and put that all back into the local 4H - told my daughter she did the work and he was proud of her. Helluva guy.

By the way - I have worked that old squeeze - a POS that I complained about every time I used it - he used to just smile and shake his head and tell me he was open to me buying a new one if I had the spare cash!

Be safe

Bez__

 

[Nesikep]

Reminds me of a neighbor that wanted to brand a big old bull in a squeeze that must have been in the same state of repair.. well, as soon as the brand hit him, he puffed his chest and the thing bent all to heck and out he went.
Same neighbor, perhaps a different bull.. One the bull got all pizzy with him and the fellow had a manure fork, he stabbed it through the bulls nose and into the ground. From what I hear the bull never again looked at him sideways.

Different neighbor was changing pipes in some high grass on a leased place, walking along when suddenly a big grizzly boar stood up in front of him. He didn't have a lot of options, but he had a nice pipe wrench and he bashed it over the head as hard as he could (and this fellow was a well built man).. I don't know if he knocked the bear out or not, but it left him alone and he got out of there.