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Notices to Northerners moving to the South:

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Campground Cattle

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Notices to Northerners moving to the South:

1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed why
shortly.
2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean
Southerners can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in
the cab of a four-wheel pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow
chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their
way. This is what they live for.
4. You can ask Southerners for directions, but unless you
already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off
trying to find it yourself.
5, Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
6. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't
understand you, either.
7. The first Southern _expression to creep into a transplanted
Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol," as in "big ol
truck", or "big ol boy". "Fixin'" (as in "I'm fixin' to go to the store")
is 2nd, and "Y'all" is 3rd; it's harder to use. Remember: Y'all is
singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.
8. As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone
directly in the middle of the road, remember: ALL Southern folks
learned to drive on a John Deere and this is the proper speed and lane
position for that vehicle.
9. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!,"
get out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say,
or worse still, that you will ever hear.
10.Most Southerners do not use turn signals; they ignore those
who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern
license plate, you may rest assured that it was already turned on when
the car was purchased.
11. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking,
let alone eating.
12. The wardrobe you always brought out in Sept. can wait until
Dec.
13. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even
the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the
local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the
store. It is just something you're supposed to do if you're Southern.
14. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you
purchase one, it is positioned directly in front of the house.. This is
logical, bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the
house and should, therefore, be prominently displayed.
15. Be advised that in the South "He needed killin" is a valid
legal defense.
 

txag

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CattleAnnie":3t6gh7c0 said:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Number nine was my favorite...up here it's more likely "Hey, watch this, eh?".

Take care.

my cousin is married to a girl from canada & she says she had a really hard time breaking herself from the "eh" addition to sentences. :D
 

dun

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D.R. Cattle":9ur1r16c said:
Better yet...all Northerners please stay there and don't come to the South.

Where is the dividing line between north and south?

dun
 

D.R. Cattle

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Unless you live in the Keys your probably North of me. Come to think of it, I never really thought about a line, but it's all too easy to hear someone with that accent (likely New Jersey, New York) lettin us all know just how much better things were up North, and what we can do to spruce the place up and make it more like back home. Here's a hint. Take I-95 North.
 

D.R. Cattle

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Campground Cattle":fla748p7 said:
The line has to do with the states of Northern Aggression.

That line would be the Mason Dixon line, but things have changed a lot since then. The Northern and Southern cultures obviously still exist, but Americans have moved around so much it's hard to define that line anymore.
 
A

Anonymous

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dun":1z7ivnzf said:
D.R. Cattle":1z7ivnzf said:
Better yet...all Northerners please stay there and don't come to the South.

Where is the dividing line between north and south?

dun
I hear tell it is I 70 in Missery
 

dun

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rbell":1eq8rii2 said:
dun":1eq8rii2 said:
D.R. Cattle":1eq8rii2 said:
Better yet...all Northerners please stay there and don't come to the South.

Where is the dividing line between north and south?

dun
I hear tell it is I 70 in Missery

I know there is a huge difference in MO between the strange folks north of the river and the right thinkers south of it. The norhtern ones feel about as out of place as the ones from CA when they move here.

dun
 

redangus

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Yankees are like hemoroids. If they come down and then go back up, they are tolerable. If they come down and stay down, they are hard to live with. :lol:
 

J Baxter

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I don't think it's just a North/South thing. I think you would be better off dividing the urban/country folk. I don't look at Kansas, Nebraska, or Iowa as one of them there foreign countries like California or Massachusetts. Were just like twinkies the goodies are toward the middle.
 

dun

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redangus":27lbo46q said:
Yankees are like hemoroids. If they come down and then go back up, they are tolerable. If they come down and stay down, they are hard to live with. :lol:

Oregon used to have a pumper sticker that said "Californians, keep Oregon green, leave your money"

dun
 

certherfbeef

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Round here, WV is south. We don't live that close to the river. Any time you get south enough to hear that intelligent accent, you've gone too far. But I don't think Florida has an accent do they? :roll:
 

greenpasture78

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dun":2yw1x80h said:
redangus":2yw1x80h said:
Yankees are like hemoroids. If they come down and then go back up, they are tolerable. If they come down and stay down, they are hard to live with. :lol:

Oregon used to have a pumper sticker that said "Californians, keep Oregon green, leave your money"

dun
Dun where can I find a bumper sticker like that? I'd made this one up "Californians, leave your fruits and nuts home, we eat beef here!".
 

greenpasture78

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dun":3lc0zkg7 said:
redangus":3lc0zkg7 said:
Yankees are like hemoroids. If they come down and then go back up, they are tolerable. If they come down and stay down, they are hard to live with. :lol:

Oregon used to have a pumper sticker that said "Californians, keep Oregon green, leave your money"

dun
Dun where can I find a bumper sticker like that? I'd made this one up "Californians, leave your fruits and nuts home, we eat beef in Oregon!"
 

Texan

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greenpasture78":3sqftayh said:
dun":3sqftayh said:
redangus":3sqftayh said:
Yankees are like hemoroids. If they come down and then go back up, they are tolerable. If they come down and stay down, they are hard to live with. :lol:

Oregon used to have a pumper sticker that said "Californians, keep Oregon green, leave your money"

dun
Dun where can I find a bumper sticker like that? I'd made this one up "Californians, leave your fruits and nuts home, we eat beef in Oregon!"

Reading your posts makes one wonder why you even have a state line between you. Do away with it and let you co-mingle, and nobody would be able to tell the difference between the fruits and the nuts and the Oregonians.
 

la4angus

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{Quote Texan}Reading your posts makes one wonder why you even have a state line between you. Do away with it and let you co-mingle, and nobody would be able to tell the difference between the fruits and the nuts and the Oregonians.{quote}

They are one and the same. Remember the other Flake "Oregonian".
 

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