North or South

[Texas PaPaw]

The difference between the North and the South - at last, clearly explained...

The North has Bloomingdale's , the South has Dollar General .

The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses ..

The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives; the South has .45's

The North has double last names; the South has double first names.

The North has Indy car races; The South has stock car races .

North has Cream of Wheat , the South has grits.

The North has green salads, the South has collard greens ..

The North has lobsters, the South has crawfish .

The North has the rust belt; the South has the Bible Belt ..

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . .. ....

In the South : --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.... Do not buy food at this store.

Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive

Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either... The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' truck

or 'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper .

Be advised that 'He needed killin..' is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store... It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them
how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

And remember: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits.


Send this to four people that ain't related to you, and I reckon your life will turn into a country music song 'fore you know it.

Your kin would get a kick out of it too!

 

[dun]

I had waited for years to be able to use the "You ain;t from around here are you" line. A copule of years ago some folks bout a farm down the road a bit. One of them was going to town and ran out of gas. He had a gas can and was walking to town, about 12 miles. I stopped and picked him up took him to town and brought hijm back. About that time the guy that owned the place showd up. He asked me what he owed me for helping them out. That's when I got to use the line! Poor old phart was just confused.

 

[VanC]

I don't think the differences are so much north and south as they are country and city.

 

[john250]

The difference between the North and the South - at last, clearly explained...


The North has Indy car races; The South has stock car races .

But NASCAR has been racing at the shrine for several years now. Just 45 mph slower.

North has Cream of Wheat , the South has grits.

I love cheesy grits. Don't eat many (any) breakfast grits.

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . .. ....



Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either... The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' truck
or 'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

Big ol' girl. Part of my vocab for ages.

Like Van says, it is more city/country than north/south.

 

[VanC]

The difference between the North and the South - at last, clearly explained...


The North has Indy car races; The South has stock car races .

But NASCAR has been racing at the shrine for several years now. Just 45 mph slower.

Yup. NASCAR got started in the south, but it's not just a southern thing anymore. Come to think of it, I grew up in Illinois and Wisconsin and have been to quite a few quarter to half mile dirt tracks. Never once saw an Indy car there.

I did see the Indy guys race at Michigan once a few years ago before they slowed 'em down some. The pole speed was 236 so you know they had to be going 245 or more at times. My neck got sore trying to watch those suckers go by. The Indy people were more accessible before the race than the NASCAR people, which made it a fun experience. But when it comes to the actual racing I prefer the stock cars, especially in person.

 

[3waycross]

I don't think the differences are so much north and south as they are country and city.

Same around here. Small town big city. Plus we get to deal with all the Californian who want to own a Ranchette. and the minute they establish residency they start tryin to make us into California, or some other fairy influenced place.

 

[tncattle]

Nascar ain't the same as it was when I was growing up, that's for sure. The driver's mostly look like wimps and act like babies. You just don't have the personalities and/or characters of the past. Plus the dang cars (if you can call them that) are all the same. It's like they are all in a bunch of go karts that all go the exact same speed.

In the 60s and 70s "men" wrestled hulking cars with massive engines that went as fast as today's cars with very little safety equipment and no power steering and cool suits or fresh oxygen being pumped into their closed face helmet!

For most of his career Richard Petty drove with no gloves, open faced helmet and cowboy boots. He also chewed on a wet rag to keep hydrated which you know soaked up lots dust, smoke and other debris in the air. I think the guys now can drive obviously but I don't think they are as tough and I think the guys of the past could much easily drive today's cars but the guys of now would have much trouble driving those hulks of yesteryear. JMO

 

[alacattleman]

and the brawls they had,,,, wasnt no he was wrong and should be ashamed he's a disgrace to nascar they settled em with tire irons and fist,,, then enjoyed some shine afterward

 

[john250]

"Formula" cars are hurting Nascar and Indy. I have to look close to see the bowtie or the oval before I know what model I'm seeing.
I liked the Nascar brand wars, which produced the winged Mopars and the 429 Fords.
Same with Indy. When Andy Granatelli brought his turbine cars to the speedway--that was interesting.
Formula 1 still has competing technology, but it is phenomenally expensive.

 

[dun]

I've got a picture somehwere of David Pearons at Riverside going down the back straight with a cigerette haning out of his mount and his arm out the window holding onto the top of the door.

 

[tncattle]

David Pearson had a cigarette lighter on the dash of his Wood brother's Mercury. He also said he never worked out but could drive all day in a 135 degree car because he never had air condition growing up and he also used to sit a hot steam sauna twice a week for over an hour at a time when he was a Nascar driver.

 

[mitch2]

Dick Trickle

 

[chrisy]

Dick Trickle

now over here that would be a rude saying, is it where your at.?

 

[mitch2]

Dick Trickle

now over here that would be a rude saying, is it where your at.?

Sorry Chrisy!
Dick Trickle is a man.
This thread went to the way of short track racing, I grew up watching this man with my dad.

 

[dun]

Dick Trickle

Been so long since I heard his name I figured he had died.. Glad to hear he hasn;t

 

[john250]

Wikipedia has a rather long entry.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Trickle

"Part of his popularity stemmed from his unusual, double-entendre name. ESPN's Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann often made it a point to mention where he finished whenever NASCAR highlights were featured on Sportscenter He was either referred as Mr. Trickle or "The Man". He was also widely noted for having drilled a hole in his safety helmet so that he could smoke while racing, and for installing cigarette lighters in his race cars. [1] Trickle was allowed by NASCAR to smoke in the race car during yellow flag periods, and in the 1990 Winston 500 (now the Aaron's 499), Trickle was seen on live television by the in-car camera lighting up and smoking a cigarette."