No joking matter

[Tommy Ruyle]

A colonoscopy is no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopy:

1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5. "You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

12. "God, now I know why I am not gay.

And the best one of all..

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"

 

[Just Curious]

I feel like a whimp now....
The only things that I think of:
Taking a deep breath, when they say your going to feel a littttttllllleee pressure...
"Supersize" me on the anethesia, and...
Hoping that they won't charge extra for damage to the gurney...
Which brings to mind the number of ways RN's like to give ennemas... On your side... Elbows and knees, butt in the air... etc
And lastly that the next time is only three years away... :cry2:
Thanks for the memories... Tommy

 

[shorty]

I had a colonoscopy for the first time about a month ago. they put me under , I never found anything out about it while they did it. the worst part about it was drinking the stuff the night before to clean me out.

 

[Just Curious]

I had a colonoscopy for the first time about a month ago. they put me under , I never found anything out about it while they did it. the worst part about it was drinking the stuff the night before to clean me out.

Ooohhhh But then you can't watch the streaming video on the monitor when you're unconcious (sp).... Going in or coming out...

 

[shorty]

I had a colonoscopy for the first time about a month ago. they put me under , I never found anything out about it while they did it. the worst part about it was drinking the stuff the night before to clean me out.

Ooohhhh But then you can't watch the streaming video on the monitor when you're unconcious (sp).... Going in or coming out...

That's okay I didn't need to see that.

 

[funky 4-Her]

:shock: :lol2:

 

[Lammie]

I don't remember anything about mine, either. I did apologize in advance for thing I might say, though. It is better that way. I had the scope down the throat, too. I just hope they went down the throat first... :shock:

 

[mnmtranching]

Take it from a guy that has gone both awake and totally out. NO question, :nod: go out.

 

[TexasBred]

I had a colonoscopy for the first time about a month ago. they put me under , I never found anything out about it while they did it. the worst part about it was drinking the stuff the night before to clean me out.

Shorty you got that right. Had one in October, 07.....thought I was going to have to move the TV into the bathroom. About wore the finish off the floor making trips. :roll: Slept right thru the procedure itself but had one polyp too large to remove so had to have surgery for it in Nov. Test was negative so that was a relief.

 

[spoon]

They have been trying to get me to have one for close to 5 years now. Still putting it off. Heck, I've never had my colesteral checked yet and I'm almost 55.

 

[jw]

Hey spoon - I had my first one at age 54, about twoish years ago. It is really no big deal, but it is VERY important. They found a couple of polyps and he told me if I would not have had it done that they might have turned into cancer and then it would be too late to worry. SO, BUCK UP AND GET IT DONE.

Lammie - I had both ends done at the same time - I just asked the Doc to please wipe the thing off before doing my throut. He said if he forgot to that I wouldn't know it anyway!

 

[mnmtranching]

Hey spoon - I had my first one at age 54, about twoish years ago. It is really no big deal, but it is VERY important. They found a couple of polyps and he told me if I would not have had it done that they might have turned into cancer and then it would be too late to worry. SO, BUCK UP AND GET IT DONE.

Lammie - I had both ends done at the same time - I just asked the Doc to please wipe the thing off before doing my throut. He said if he forgot to that I wouldn't know it anyway!

Did they clean the thing after they did the guy ahead of you. ;-)

 

[jw]

Did they clean the thing after they did the guy ahead of you.

I never thought to ask - but, believe me, I WILL NEXT TIME!!!