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Cattle Rack Rancher

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Last night when we were sitting around having a few drinks, we got into some creative thinking as many people do after they've had a few drinks. We have this BSE problem, you see, and many of us are trying to find ways to make a little extra income. In our last election 4% of our population voted for the green party. That means that there are 1.2 Million Canadians out there looking for good, environmentally friendly solutions. So I'm going to rent my cows. I plan to make it fashionable to have cows graze on city lawns. No use of fossil fuels, no pollution. I will set up temporary fences with electical tape wire and temporary fenceposts (good for aeration) and hook it all into a SOLAR fencer (how much more environmentally friendly can you get). I'll hook up little collection devices to the cows' hind ends to collect that good organic fertilizer and have a separate device for collecting methane. I'll rent for $20 per day per cow and at the end I'll present the owner with the natural organic fertilizer and the methane which they can use to heat the houses during the cold Canadian winter. I'll be known as a visionary around the globe.

God, I'm tired.
 
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Cattle Rack Rancher

Cattle Rack Rancher

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Its getting to be a bit of a tough haul, alright. My brother sent 42 calves between 550-1000 lbs about a week and a half ago. His cheque was $12,600 CDN just over enough to pay the interest on his loan. There has got to be a way out of this thing. With the USDA hamstringed the way they are, I can't see the border opening any time soon. I think that the republicans probably aren't going to get re-elected just by the way things are going. if John Kerry gets in, we are done. Win, Bush, Win.
 

Texan

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Cattle Rack Rancher":29lio1nk said:
......There has got to be a way out of this thing. With the USDA hamstringed the way they are, I can't see the border opening any time soon. I think that the republicans probably aren't going to get re-elected just by the way things are going. if John Kerry gets in, we are done. Win, Bush, Win.

CRR, I hate to say it, but I'm sure you're right on the border opening. I wouldn't expect it before next year. What started out as a disease management issue "based on sound science" turned into a trade issue that gets bigger exponentially every day.

If that wasn't bad enough, it has now turned into a political issue. Its just not going to happen in an election year, in my opinion. Its unfortunate, but there's just too much at stake politically.

I personally feel like the South Dakota Senate race will have as much influence on the border issue as the Presidential race. South Dakota Senator Little Tommy Daschle is in a fight for his political life and has made the border issue a big deal from a food safety and protectionist standpoint. The administration caving on the border issue would give him the ammunition he needs to win. The Republicans really need him out of there so I wouldn't look for much help for your team from down here.
 
A

Anonymous

I'll rent for $20 per day per cow and at the end I'll present the owner with the natural organic fertilizer

I think that would be the best part of the whole deal. Presenting one of those city slickers with a big bag full of be nice and getting paid for it.
 
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Cattle Rack Rancher

Cattle Rack Rancher

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Hey CRR, need a partner in crime? Maybe the Parliment Buildings would be a great place to start.

Cattle Annie:

You would be in a perfect place to start your own franchise. You could have a big cattle drive down to Vancouver or ferry them across to Victoria and Salt Spring Island. Tons of green party supporters out that way.
 

CattleAnnie

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Yeah, CRR, except I'm about an eighteen hour drive in a pickup to Vancouverland. Darn geography, eh? Would be closer to take them to Edmonton. They have Legislative buildings too.

Take care.
 
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Cattle Rack Rancher

Cattle Rack Rancher

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Well, I just think those city people need a little common sense. Less labor for them, mowing lawns. Free fertilizer and fuel. How much better can you get than that? Their problem is that they are just a little too concerned with aesthetics and what the neighbors might think. My lawn mower broke down last summer and because of a shortage of money, I had to graze the cows around the house twice to get the lawn down. Its not quite the manicured lawn that i'm used to but those cows are alot nicer lawn ornaments than those stupid garden gnomes. If its good enough for me, it should be good enough for city folk. What the heck are they thinking?
 

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