• If you are having problems logging in please use the Contact Us in the lower right hand corner of the forum page for assistance.

need advice fast please

Help Support CattleToday:

rockridgecattle

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 6, 2007
Messages
2,826
Reaction score
0
Location
Manitoba, Canada
okay i will say it off the bat. I am a terd.

I am deciding weather or not to go to my mother's "celebration of life" on Saturday. Not a memoral not a funeral.
She did not want me in her life these past years and i am invited to this celebration if her family agrees to let me come. I am one of 4 not invited unless the family okays it.
I am right now of the opinion why spend $600 to go to this thing. I get sketchy information at best, and got a face book invite to this thing from my brothers.
If i go i must adhere to her directives, however i do not know what they are except to stress or politics to the family and any mention of God is forbiden...i presume.
My step dad wonders if my brothers would feel abandoned if i do not go. However, I have not heard from them in over a week. When i asked about the details, the questions get ignored. I did ask about finances for this thing since my brothers are dead broke, and all i got was thinking on a potluck to cut costs down. Asked about the other stuff and told i was insensitive and aggressive.
I asked my husband if he would go if he were in my place but he says he does not know,since he never grew up like i did.
I keep checking west jets fares.
What would you do?

RR
 

larryshoat

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2007
Messages
3,475
Reaction score
0
Location
Ohio
I think if you feel that after this is over your relationship with other family members is improved, I would say go . If on the other hand you feel that things will somehow be worse then don't go.

Larry
 

peg4x4

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2006
Messages
3,826
Reaction score
0
Location
Texas
Now that is a tough one--I grew up in "Mayberry" so I have no experence with evil kin...You've got to be able to live with yourself. Sit down,think it thro. If I don't go,how will I feel-If I do go,how will I feel-
If you do go,understand there will be no "welcome back into the family,we're sooooo sorry we did you like that"
If it would help settle anything,I'd say go----but it really sounds like it'd kick over a whole bucket of wiggley wormes... As I don't know the story----Well,I think you need to stay with those who love and care for you--Take care in all you do--
 

1982vett

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2008
Messages
9,286
Reaction score
63
Location
Central Texas
Rockridge, I don't know. What I gather from all of this, do what make you happy and feel you need to do. It sounds like that is all you can expect anyway. Best wishes either way.
 

I luv herfrds

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 24, 2007
Messages
5,770
Reaction score
0
Location
Montana
RR I'm not too sure of what to tell you.
I asked my hubby his thoughts and he said he wouldn't go. I agree with him. Why stress yourself out more to go to this.
 

LazyARanch

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 21, 2009
Messages
1,301
Reaction score
0
Location
NW Minnesota
RR, would you regret it if you didn't go??

If you're looking to make peace with your mother, I think it's much too late. Now you need to find the
peace within yourself FOR yourself.

I would not go myself.... I think it would be stressful beyond reason to have to be "invited if the family agrees". No purpose to be served there, it would be uncomfortable and I think the regrets would be that you DID go. Do let your brothers know that you are thinking of them, and they will always be family.

You can't make folks learn some grace when they have none.

I am sorry for your loss, and I hope you find healing for your heart, and with the family you have in Manitoba.

Hugs,
Vickie
 

Howdyjabo

Well-known member
Joined
May 23, 2004
Messages
2,062
Reaction score
0
Location
NC
If you are mentally settled and have nothing to resolve- send a big fancy cake and a card wishing her well on her special day. And all your love(you can love someone without liking them).
 

newrancher

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2007
Messages
257
Reaction score
0
Location
ok
If the family has to vote on it, send a card. Keep the $599.56 in your pocket.
 

dun

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 28, 2003
Messages
47,334
Reaction score
1
Location
MO Ozarks
Forget it and have a pleasent day or 2 wihout contending with that sort of BS
 

Lammie

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 2, 2006
Messages
7,287
Reaction score
0
Location
TX
I do have turd relatives. And I can be somewhat turdlike myself. :D

Having lost my mother recently, I'd say go. Talk to your brothers and express interest in going if they want you there. I think, though, that if you did not go you would regret it later. You only have one shot at this, so rather than waking up one day and feel lousy about it, go ahead and go. She's your mother, regardless of your relationship with her. It's family.
 

Jogeephus

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 17, 2006
Messages
24,228
Reaction score
0
Location
South Georgia
Take two days off and celebrate life at your farm and hope the mailman gets you card there on time.
 

GMN

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 7, 2005
Messages
3,313
Reaction score
0
Location
southwest, MO
rockridgecattle":6uax879j said:
okay i will say it off the bat. I am a terd.

I am deciding weather or not to go to my mother's "celebration of life" on Saturday. Not a memoral not a funeral.
She did not want me in her life these past years and i am invited to this celebration if her family agrees to let me come. I am one of 4 not invited unless the family okays it.
I am right now of the opinion why spend $600 to go to this thing. I get sketchy information at best, and got a face book invite to this thing from my brothers.
If i go i must adhere to her directives, however i do not know what they are except to stress or politics to the family and any mention of God is forbiden...i presume.
My step dad wonders if my brothers would feel abandoned if i do not go. However, I have not heard from them in over a week. When i asked about the details, the questions get ignored. I did ask about finances for this thing since my brothers are dead broke, and all i got was thinking on a potluck to cut costs down. Asked about the other stuff and told i was insensitive and aggressive.
I asked my husband if he would go if he were in my place but he says he does not know,since he never grew up like i did.
I keep checking west jets fares.
What would you do?

RR


They invited you on facebook, I think says it all. Send a card and remember the better times with your Mom, as she was before all the hurt and anger.

GMN
 

Calman

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 6, 2006
Messages
3,419
Reaction score
0
Location
Bowie Texas
If it came to a vote for me to visit my family they would just have to do without me.
If she did not want you in her life why would she want to have a celebration of her life with you there?

And a facebook invitation instead of a personal one,that just sounds like they didn't want to invite you but felt they had too.

I believe I'd take a couple of days of and enjoy the family at home where you are loved and wanted.

Just my thoughts Cal
 

dun

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 28, 2003
Messages
47,334
Reaction score
1
Location
MO Ozarks
They're only family by accident of birth. Your friends are the ones you choose.
 

alisonb

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 11, 2009
Messages
5,351
Reaction score
20
Location
South Africa
RR-I believe your answer lies within the reason why your mother has not wanted to see you these past years. It could have been due to a frivolous argument and ego's were involved or it could go way deeper.
Life is too short to have regrets. The question is will you regret not going?
 

grannysoo

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
4,813
Reaction score
0
Location
The Briar Patch
A facebook invitation deserves a facebook rejection. When all of you get older, then perhaps everyone will want to get along.
 

Jim62

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 27, 2007
Messages
1,094
Reaction score
0
Location
Round Top, Texas
Send a nice card, and then have a glass of wine to celebrate YOUR life.

I spent most of my life trying to do what everyone else thought was the right thing to do. Usually didn't work out too well. Now I do what I think is the right thing to do. And everybody else can just take it or leave it.
 

Latest posts

Top