As most of you know, I put my parents in a nursing home this summer. They were just unable to take care of themselves any longer. I chose a home close to their home town and near to my siblings because I wanted them to be able to visit. It's about forty miles from my home, however, I though it was closer, but I also liked the place and thought they would receive good care there and have things to do.
The home changed doctors recently. Now, I know my mother has aggression issues, was extremely paranoid and delusional. In the past several visits, my mother has been just snowed, I believe, overmedicated, and has fallen several times. She is using a walker. They wanted to put her in a wheelchair and I overrode that recommendation because I think that as long as she can walk she should.
On Wed. the home called and said that Mother had fallen again and that my dad was trying to drag the walker along from the front because Mom has been shuffling her feet and barely moving. I know she's been doing this because last time I was there I had an awful time getting her from one place to another. I told the staff that I thought she was overmedicated and that this was what was causing her to walk in this manner. Anyway, back in the room, Mom had a toileting accident. An aide went to clean her up, and when she was done, Dad thanked her and then reminded Mom to thank her, too. When Mom didn't say anything, he slapped her on the face. They were seperated for the night, and I could understand that. Last night, the administrator told me that they want them to be in seperate rooms for good. I told his that was not acceptable, as they have been married for sixty years and have hardly ever slept apart and I thought it would do more harm than good. He persists, however, because they do not want to be fined for it by the state.
This was really the last straw. I like the home and I love the nursing staff, but there is a nursing home five minutes from my house and I am going to go and talk to them today about moving my parents there. I haven't told my siblings yet and I don't know how they will react. My sister only gets over there, maybe once a month, and my brother, about every other week, in spite of the fact that they are both about fifteen minutes away. I can only get over there once a week. If they are close to us, then we can visit all the time, they can come to my house and it would be easier to take them shopping and on outings. I have had issues with this home because I have had clients from there when I worked for MHMR and took issue with the food, and the cleanliness of the clients. But if I can take an active role in their lives and the staff know I am right there nearby, they might do a better job of caring for them. I am going to go there today after school and talk to them about it.
Would you move them if they were your parents? Is being closer worh risking that I have reservations about the facility? I keep weighing the options. There are also several places in Cleburne, about ten miles away, and I want to check those out, as well. I should have done this originally, but I had to move them quickly this summer because APS had become involved and I just had looked at the one place in Glen Rose. I just can't stand the thought of them being in seperate rooms.
This is hard. I'm about out of tears. But I think I would rather have them close to me than forty miles away where I can't do much for them except on the weekends. I think Dad hit her because he think she's faking and because he's frustrated. They have him on Atavan now. I don't think I want him to be as snowed as she is. Mom is on a list of meds as long as my arm and I don't think it is necessary, although she is in need of a little something to "take the edge off" as it were.
The home changed doctors recently. Now, I know my mother has aggression issues, was extremely paranoid and delusional. In the past several visits, my mother has been just snowed, I believe, overmedicated, and has fallen several times. She is using a walker. They wanted to put her in a wheelchair and I overrode that recommendation because I think that as long as she can walk she should.
On Wed. the home called and said that Mother had fallen again and that my dad was trying to drag the walker along from the front because Mom has been shuffling her feet and barely moving. I know she's been doing this because last time I was there I had an awful time getting her from one place to another. I told the staff that I thought she was overmedicated and that this was what was causing her to walk in this manner. Anyway, back in the room, Mom had a toileting accident. An aide went to clean her up, and when she was done, Dad thanked her and then reminded Mom to thank her, too. When Mom didn't say anything, he slapped her on the face. They were seperated for the night, and I could understand that. Last night, the administrator told me that they want them to be in seperate rooms for good. I told his that was not acceptable, as they have been married for sixty years and have hardly ever slept apart and I thought it would do more harm than good. He persists, however, because they do not want to be fined for it by the state.
This was really the last straw. I like the home and I love the nursing staff, but there is a nursing home five minutes from my house and I am going to go and talk to them today about moving my parents there. I haven't told my siblings yet and I don't know how they will react. My sister only gets over there, maybe once a month, and my brother, about every other week, in spite of the fact that they are both about fifteen minutes away. I can only get over there once a week. If they are close to us, then we can visit all the time, they can come to my house and it would be easier to take them shopping and on outings. I have had issues with this home because I have had clients from there when I worked for MHMR and took issue with the food, and the cleanliness of the clients. But if I can take an active role in their lives and the staff know I am right there nearby, they might do a better job of caring for them. I am going to go there today after school and talk to them about it.
Would you move them if they were your parents? Is being closer worh risking that I have reservations about the facility? I keep weighing the options. There are also several places in Cleburne, about ten miles away, and I want to check those out, as well. I should have done this originally, but I had to move them quickly this summer because APS had become involved and I just had looked at the one place in Glen Rose. I just can't stand the thought of them being in seperate rooms.
This is hard. I'm about out of tears. But I think I would rather have them close to me than forty miles away where I can't do much for them except on the weekends. I think Dad hit her because he think she's faking and because he's frustrated. They have him on Atavan now. I don't think I want him to be as snowed as she is. Mom is on a list of meds as long as my arm and I don't think it is necessary, although she is in need of a little something to "take the edge off" as it were.
