Mom's Money

[inyati13]

I got a call from my brother today. He was at the Nursing Home visiting mom. She will be 91 on January 21. He said mom wanted to speak to me. She has a phone in her room but it is call-in-only. so she was on his cell.

Mom: I gave you $70 and I wonder what you did with it.

Me: Mom, I don't have your money.

Mom: Yes you do. I gave you $70 of my money to keep for me.

Me: When did you give it to me.

Mom: It was a while ago but I don't forget money, I gave it to you and I want to know where it is.

Be aware that she did have $70 and my brother took her to WalMart and she spent $40 of it. Rob gave me the balance of $30. Over the past year, she has spent about $20 of the $40 so there is about $10 in a container I keep in the trunk of the car.

Me : I don't know mom. Where did I put it?

Mom: How am I suppose to know? But don't try to fool me, you got my money.

At this point, I could see that my best strategy was to lie.

Me: Mom, the day you gave me that $70, I checked dad out of the Nursing Home and took him to the farm. On the way to the farm, I gave dad the $70.

Mom: You did. But it was my money.

Me: I know mom but I gave it to dad.

Mom: What did he do with it?

Me: I don't know mom, I would say dad still has it.

 

[Ouachita]

Grand Dad's money................

In the first couple years after my Grand Dad had been diagnosed with Alsteimers (sp?), he was a mess to keep up with. Granny had her hands full. He was in perfect physical health at age 90, and still did his chores whether there were any to do or not. After the family sold his cattle, so he didn't get hurt, he got really bored and somewhat depressed. That did not help matters. I got a call from Granny while I was at work. It was about 3pm and Grand Dad had left the house right after breakfast. He had always made it home for dinner. As I drove up my driveway I found him hanging upside down from the fence. He had tried to climb over the barbed wire and his bibs got hung on the top wire. We don't know how long he was there. He was ok. He had wet himself and was very frustrated, but he was ok. I noticed a lot of money (coins) laying on the ground beneath him, and when I ask about it he stuck his hand in his pockets and began to pull out more coins.
Granny could not figure out where he got the money, but she called me the next day to let me know she found several receipts, some ammunition, and a set of keys when she searched his overalls. I stopped by after work that evening and discovered they were the keys to my farm truck. I went home and found that he had cleaned out my ashtray (where I keep my pocket change), and my glovebox. My house is a mile from theirs. I figure he may have tried to start and drive my truck because the tranny was in neutral, but the safety switch on the clutch prevented him (the switch adjustment was such that you had to push it through the floorboard before the engine would crank). He wasn't familiar with anything newer than 1959.
A week later I found my chainsaw, splitting maul and wedges, laying near a tree that had been struck by lightning a couple weeks earlier. His chainsaw had been taken away. I guess he had decided he would walk to my place and use my stuff since the family had taken his. Both sad and funny in a way. I had never been this close to someone in that condition and did not know what to feel. It seemed as though his body knew his daily routine and went out on its own to do chores, but his mind did not follow. A few weeks later he and Granny moved in with my aunt and uncle. Not by choice, but by necessity. That was the first time they lived in a place with indoor plumbing and had heat and could cook without wood. Year of our Lord, 2003. He died September 14, 2010.

 

[TennesseeTuxedo]

Ron, give your mother the dad gum $70.00!

 

[cow pollinater]

I bought a ranch from a ninety-four year old man. For the first year that I owned it I was there once a week changing a flat for him, taking him home after his truck broke down, helping him "fix" the windmill that hadn't worked for ten years... He knew who I was and understood that I was the new owner and was there when I gathered his cows and shipped them for him but there was a part of him that never figured out that it wasn't his problem anymore.
I drove him home one day(a two hour round trip) after the wheel fell off of his pickup and he walked close to two miles uphill to get to where he could call for help. He told me then that he was worried about being robbed because he couldn't find his pistols. He had carried .22 pistols in his shirt pocket for years and everyone that knew him knew that but his memory was not there so I assumed it was a memory problem when he said he couldn't find his pistols...
A week later his face was all over the local news as someone had tied him up and left him to die while they ransacked his house. Luckily he had neighbor kids that thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread and they found him in time. He has recovered physically but the drain on his memory was just to much. He still tells the same stories but they all mix together now.
I called a deputy that I know and told him who did it. He won't forget and neither will I but there just wasn't enough evidence this time around.

 

[cross_7]

I bought a place from a man that was 89.
He gave me a price and we talked a little I knew he wasn't willing to negotiate and to try would just make him mad.
It had a crp payment due in a 2 from the time I bought and they were going to prorate the payment since he had owned it for 10 months out of that year, like it should have been done, but he insisted I get the entire payment cause he said thats what we agreed on.
When we closed I had already signed my paperwork that morning and he came in that afternoon and signed and wanted his money.
They explained it would take a day for the funds to settle and he would get it the next day, but he called BS on that and they wrote him a check, he was one of them guys when he spoke you said yes sir.

He had an old tractor and some other stuff he needed to get out and said he'd call me and get the key when he was going to get it.
I told him to just keep the key and get it when you can and no hurry
He would go piddle around 2-3 days a week for months but he did finally get it all
He called and told me Red Hill is all yours now, take care of it and I could hear the sadness in his voice.
I wanted to tell him it was still his and he was welcome anytime but the truth was he didn't need to be driving cause he couldn't see well and he didn't get around good and I was afraid he was going to fall
He said he'd had that place since he had gotten out of the service, it was sad to watch.

 

[inyati13]

Grand Dad's money................

In the first couple years after my Grand Dad had been diagnosed with Alsteimers (sp?), he was a mess to keep up with. Granny had her hands full. He was in perfect physical health at age 90, and still did his chores whether there were any to do or not. After the family sold his cattle, so he didn't get hurt, he got really bored and somewhat depressed. That did not help matters. I got a call from Granny while I was at work. It was about 3pm and Grand Dad had left the house right after breakfast. He had always made it home for dinner. As I drove up my driveway I found him hanging upside down from the fence. He had tried to climb over the barbed wire and his bibs got hung on the top wire. We don't know how long he was there. He was ok. He had wet himself and was very frustrated, but he was ok. I noticed a lot of money (coins) laying on the ground beneath him, and when I ask about it he stuck his hand in his pockets and began to pull out more coins.
Granny could not figure out where he got the money, but she called me the next day to let me know she found several receipts, some ammunition, and a set of keys when she searched his overalls. I stopped by after work that evening and discovered they were the keys to my farm truck. I went home and found that he had cleaned out my ashtray (where I keep my pocket change), and my glovebox. My house is a mile from theirs. I figure he may have tried to start and drive my truck because the tranny was in neutral, but the safety switch on the clutch prevented him (the switch adjustment was such that you had to push it through the floorboard before the engine would crank). He wasn't familiar with anything newer than 1959.
A week later I found my chainsaw, splitting maul and wedges, laying near a tree that had been struck by lightning a couple weeks earlier. His chainsaw had been taken away. I guess he had decided he would walk to my place and use my stuff since the family had taken his. Both sad and funny in a way. I had never been this close to someone in that condition and did not know what to feel. It seemed as though his body knew his daily routine and went out on its own to do chores, but his mind did not follow. A few weeks later he and Granny moved in with my aunt and uncle. Not by choice, but by necessity. That was the first time they lived in a place with indoor plumbing and had heat and could cook without wood. Year of our Lord, 2003. He died September 14, 2010.

Nice story and although sad, it is the nature of things. Dad died at 90 of an infection. He could have lived longer as he had good cardiovascular function and clear lungs. But his mind was crisp and sharp. He could still tell new stories and rattle off people's names from memory. Mom will be 91 and still has a good mind. If I inherit their longevity, one of the issues I think an elderly person should ponder is how to keep yourself occupied. I never planned to get as involved with my farm as I have become but I am thankful I have because a person benefits from having something that provides motivation and daily activity. Something to think about and plan.

The statement about indoor plumbing caught my attention. In the farmhouse where dad and mom raised their 5 children, they did not install plumbing until after 1968. When I left for college, it was the first place I had ever lived where I could take a shower and not have to go to the privy.

 

[chippie]

My mother had Alzheimers. I learned that the best thing to do is to say what she wanted to hear.
I would have answered, I still have it. Let me know what you want me to do with it. Then take it from there. If she wants to to bring it back to her, tell her that you will bring it the next time you visit. If she wants you to buy something for her, tell her that you will and will bring the thing to her the next time you visit.
Chances are she will forget the whole conversation.

My mother was very worried about her things -- her knicknacks, furniture, etc... I would tell her that I still had them at my home. It would calm her and she would be happy knowing that they were not gone forever.

You say what you need to say to keep the person calm and happy. Alzheimer's is an evil thing.

Now for a funny. The nursing home made a cookbook to sell as a fundraiser for the Alzheimer's Association. I found it the other day and while reading it came upon this recipe.

 

[ga.prime]

:lol2: big hugs!

 

[bigbull338]

when people get old an their mind goes because of health reasons.we need to just roll with whatever they talk about.i learned this meny years ago.