El_Putzo
Well-known member
We may not have quite the following you Texans do, but I thought this was interesting and original.
TO ALL WHO Have Been, Or Want To Be In MO
For all of you who can relate to living in MO (even if it was a long
time ago or of you've only lived there a little while!) Things I've
learned from living in Missouri.
~ Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the
air.
~ There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Missouri
~ There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Missouri,
plus a couple no one's seen before.
~ Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.
~ Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they
Are ripe.
~ If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
~ A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
~ Onced and Twiced are words.
~ It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
~ People actually grow and eat okra.
~ "Fixinto" is one word.
~ There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There's only dinner and
Then there's supper.
~ Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals... and you start drinking
It when you're 2.
~ Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
~ "Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
~ You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what
Time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
More about Missourians.... You know you're from Missouri if:
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've had to switch from "heat" to "A! /C" in the same
day.
3. You know what a mule is.
4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with
no
One in it, no matter what time of the year.
5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the
store.
6. All the festivals across the state are named after a
fruit,
vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
7. You install security lights on your house and garage ...
and
Leave both unlocked. - "This is me"!!
8. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.
9. You know what "cow tipping" is.
10. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, B B Q and
catsup.
11. The local papers cover national and international news on
one
Page but requires 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
12. You think that the first day of deer season and the first
day
Of trout fishing is a national holiday. (of course!)
13. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."
14. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still
summer, and Christmas.
15. You know whether another Missourian is from east, west,
or
Middle Missouri as soon as they open their mouth
or by the barbecue they eat.
16. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite pass time known as "goin
wal-martin" or off to "Wally World."
17. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as
good
pinto-bean weather.
18. Fried Catfish is the other white meat.
TO ALL WHO Have Been, Or Want To Be In MO
For all of you who can relate to living in MO (even if it was a long
time ago or of you've only lived there a little while!) Things I've
learned from living in Missouri.
~ Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the
air.
~ There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Missouri
~ There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Missouri,
plus a couple no one's seen before.
~ Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.
~ Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they
Are ripe.
~ If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
~ A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
~ Onced and Twiced are words.
~ It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
~ People actually grow and eat okra.
~ "Fixinto" is one word.
~ There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There's only dinner and
Then there's supper.
~ Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals... and you start drinking
It when you're 2.
~ Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
~ "Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
~ You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what
Time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
More about Missourians.... You know you're from Missouri if:
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've had to switch from "heat" to "A! /C" in the same
day.
3. You know what a mule is.
4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with
no
One in it, no matter what time of the year.
5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the
store.
6. All the festivals across the state are named after a
fruit,
vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
7. You install security lights on your house and garage ...
and
Leave both unlocked. - "This is me"!!
8. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.
9. You know what "cow tipping" is.
10. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, B B Q and
catsup.
11. The local papers cover national and international news on
one
Page but requires 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
12. You think that the first day of deer season and the first
day
Of trout fishing is a national holiday. (of course!)
13. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."
14. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still
summer, and Christmas.
15. You know whether another Missourian is from east, west,
or
Middle Missouri as soon as they open their mouth
or by the barbecue they eat.
16. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite pass time known as "goin
wal-martin" or off to "Wally World."
17. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as
good
pinto-bean weather.
18. Fried Catfish is the other white meat.
