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Non-Cattle Specific Topics
Coffee Shop
MERMAID OR WHALE
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<blockquote data-quote="Tommy Ruyle" data-source="post: 682997" data-attributes="member: 1448"><p>Recently, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It was titled:</p><p></p><p>¨THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨</p><p>A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.</p><p></p><p>To Whom It May Concern:</p><p></p><p>Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, inquisitive humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins, stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia . Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and have virtually no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.</p><p></p><p>Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, Not to mention, how could they have sex? Just look at them... where is IT ? Consequently, they don't have kids either. Who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish? The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.</p><p></p><p>P.S. We are in an age when media pushes the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my grandchildren, a good dinner with a man who loves me no matter what, and a piece of chocolate with my friends.</p><p></p><p>With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it attaches to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't fat or heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror, I will think ¨Oh my, just look how smart I am¨. :lol: :lol:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tommy Ruyle, post: 682997, member: 1448"] Recently, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It was titled: ¨THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨ A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym. To Whom It May Concern: Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, inquisitive humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins, stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia . Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and have virtually no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world. Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, Not to mention, how could they have sex? Just look at them... where is IT ? Consequently, they don't have kids either. Who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish? The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale. P.S. We are in an age when media pushes the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my grandchildren, a good dinner with a man who loves me no matter what, and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it attaches to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't fat or heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror, I will think ¨Oh my, just look how smart I am¨. :lol: :lol: [/QUOTE]
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