Sounds very difficult. Were your folks OK with signing the Medical PoA change?
I am the oldest of three children. Mom & Dad assigned the Medical Power of Attorney to me years before it was needed. Their mental and physical health seemed to deteriorate at an equal pace.
I received
many calls from the nursing home asking for help with Mom. Dad wasn't a problem but Mom took up the slack. She had gotten so ugly, the Home requested a meeting of everyone connected with my parents. At that meeting were my parents, our lawyer, my brother, my sister on conference call, and all heads of every department of the nursing home-dietary, housekeeping, physical therapy, finance, etc. Everyone had a complaint or 10 about Mom. She was completely indifferent to what was going on. During that meeting, she said she wanted her own wheel chair. I asked about the possibility and the price was given at somewhere around $1500. Did they have the money? I had no idea but my brother knew. I turned to the lawyer and said, I am not allowed enough information to do my job effectively. He questioned Mom & Dad if they would consider the change and they agreed. Everyone signed a new Medical PoA and it was a done deal. I have no idea if the calls continued because from that point on, I was very effectively divorced from my family. Mom & Dad had, in one way or another, turned everything over to my brother. This was the only aspect of their life I was involved in.
It's tremendous responsibility for the designated Medical PoA person. You may be the one to 'pull the plug'. You'll have the final say-so in the final days. And, may have to defend those decisions to the rest of the family and community.