Matter of perspective

[cow pollinater]

My wife and I went to see a neighbor who has had a series of strokes and doesn't have much time left. I waited out front and chatted with his family as I knew him well enough to know that he would be fine with my wife seeing him in weakness but not me as he was kind of a recluse but she had taken him meals fairly regularly for a number of years and my relationship with him was always him approaching me about farm stuff even though I've known him literally all of my life.
Earlier in life he had been a commercial beekeeper at a time when it was more of a labor of love than it was profitable. When he and I did talk we discussed bees a lot as I'm also a beekeeper but not on his scale in either the bees or the knowledge.
His place is organized. Not really tidy or clean but everything in place. He lives in an older home that sits on ten acres of farm ground that hasn't been farmed in a decade. The filaree, fiddleneck, and mustard grow right up to the back porch and wrap around to the front side and have even taken over part of the driveway and they're all in full bloom.
I sat there on the mule while I waited watching the bees crawling all over the "weeds" in his front yard. I could hear them coming and going. I saw cordovans, some regular italians, some darker carni type bees and I was watching where they were all going when they left with a load of pollen and kind of had it figured out which bees were headed which way. I saw my bees and another neighbors bees and some commercial bees coming from somewhere south of me. I had the commercial bees figured as being from an almond block about a mile away. I kind of forgot where I was and why I was there for a while.
My wife came out with his daughter and they were chatting and the daughter was saying that he had to be lonely just sitting there by himself all the time watching the weeds grow but that's what he said he wanted so they let him do it.
I thought to myself then that lonely is just a matter of perspective.

 

[highgrit]

Kind of sad, but we all find joy in different ways.

 

[Deepsouth]

Great post CP.

 

[Rafter S]

I agree, that was a great post. As far as his daughter thinking he was lonely sitting on the porch by himself, there's no reason to assume that. I can be alone without feeling lonely, it's very possible your neighbor can, and from what you said I suspect you're the same way.

On the contrary, some people seem to not be comfortable unless they're with other people all their waking hours. That would be very tiring for me. I have friends, and enjoy spending time with friends and family, but I also need some time alone.

 

[bse]

Lonely is perspective, just from the other side looking out. My brother in law had a stroke 3 years ago, he was a rodeo clown and love to talk and joke, always full of something. He lost his speech so its very hard trying to figure out what he is trying to say, so over the years the folks that were around everyday, just bsing have stoped coming by, and its somewhat understandable, but maybe just maybe your friend would have liked to have had a hello if nothing else, I know my sister wishes a few of his old friends would just say hi and maybe cheer him up, loosing your speech and way of life is hard enough, but loosing all your friends to go with it is somewhat unbearable.

 

[Williamsv]

A very interesting post. We all need some alone time. I often wish that I had more time to spend watching my cattle graze. That is enjoyable and restful to me.

 

[branguscowgirl]

Kind of sad, but we all find joy in different ways.

So true HG.
Also it seems that as people age and maybe have some difficulty communicating due to strokes ect., they prefer to be alone more. It is too much effort to visit or be around other people.
I know from my dad, It sure is hard for those old farmers to see things that need to be done around the "place" and they can no longer do it.

bse I guess we were typing at the some time. We had kind of the same point......

 

[cow pollinater]

I know from my dad, It sure is hard for those old farmers to see things that need to be done around the "place" and they can no longer do it.

bse I guess we were typing at the some time. We had kind of the same point......

You missed my point. He's been perfectly able to spray a few "weeds" and or mow up until yesterday. He chose not to. One mans junk is another mans treasure. He had nectar and pollen to offer.

 

[Rafter S]

I worked for a beekeeper for about 3 years in the late 1990's, and kept a few hives of my own for a few years after that. Watching bees can be enjoyable, just like watching cows (though maybe not as much).

 

[chenocetah]

That sounds like my signature line....I can identify.

 

[cow pollinater]

I worked for a beekeeper for about 3 years in the late 1990's, and kept a few hives of my own for a few years after that. Watching bees can be enjoyable, just like watching cows (though maybe not as much).

I prefer cows but bees are a really good substitute. ;-)

 

[greybeard]

Loneliness can also be prevalent daily--in the middle of a crowd.

 

[Commercialfarmer]

Takes one to know one seems fitting.

 

[branguscowgirl]

I know from my dad, It sure is hard for those old farmers to see things that need to be done around the "place" and they can no longer do it.

bse I guess we were typing at the some time. We had kind of the same point......

You missed my point. He's been perfectly able to spray a few "weeds" and or mow up until yesterday. He chose not to. One mans junk is another mans treasure. He had nectar and pollen to offer.

Yes, I guess that I did. I was thinking the strokes were over a period of time, causing a disability that kept him from working his farm.

 

[melking]

A very touching post. Thanks CP

 

[TexasBred]

Great post CP. Amazing what's going on around us when we slow down and look around. There's a whole world out there just humming with good things. I too enjoy being alone a lot.

 

[Green Creek]

My uncle was one of those larger than life bull shyters who knew everybody and enjoyed being in the center of the action. When he had a stroke, he lost his speech and the use of one arm but because his "I know a damned sight better" nature he refused to do therapy and lived another miserable ten years. He became so unreasonable and hateful that friends stopped coming and family stayed away the best they could. It's very difficult for him to see pity in their face and them to go back for more unpleasant experiences.