Mars & Venus

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Well-known member
Dec 28, 2003
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MO Ozarks
Joke, humor:


FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it,
I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT???!!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear.
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you
in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed
department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very
expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them
all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a
pair for each outfit.

We went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave
short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a
loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with
excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurt out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled

I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your
shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was
going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly over Mars and Venus .