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Magical Turpentine

Jogeephus

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Fred Belkamp wrote
Get some turpentine and wrap your finger in a rag and touch each bite. The next day they will be gone. Believe me it works.

Around here turpentine was used for everything from snake bites to chewing gum and it gained some magical qualities. Hence I'm reminded of an old joke.

A priest noticed a little boy was sitting on the curb shaking up a bottle of turpentine and watching the bubbles rise to the top. Priest asked the boy what he was doing. Little boy said, "preacher, this here is turpentine. Its the most powerful liquid on earth". Priest says, "son, I hate to argue with you but it is not. Holy Water is. Why you can take a little Holy Water and sprinkle it on a woman's womb and she will pass a bably boy". Little boy replied, "that ain't $hit. Why I can take a little turpentine and sprinkle it on a cat's a$$ and it will pass a motorcycle!"
 

peg4x4

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More cat cruelty passed on as a "joke"
However---do not put turpintine on a dog to get rid of ticks- it will peel the skin off.
 

curtis

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Jogee, i used to work with an older fellow that had a bad case of hemorrhoids. One day he showed up for work and it was obvious that he was in a lot of pain.
After we got all the material loaded up for the days work we drove out to the job site way out in the country. (we worked for the REA)
The foreman told him that he was sure that he could cure his problem if he wanted to give it a try. He was in so much pain that he was willing to try anything. He was told to drop his drawers to his ankles, we were instructed to break him over like a single barreled shotgun and hold him real tight because the turpentine may sting just a little. The old foreman took a dried corn cob an rubbed the hemorrhoids until they were bleeding good then started poring the turpentine down the guys crack.
I've never seen a grown man cry, scream, an holler at the same time as he did. There was no way we could hold him, he broke loose an torn down two strains of fence, got into Lucy Williams garden an destroyed three rows of peas trying to scoot his butt in the cool dirt. Realizing that he had to get to some water he headed for the river which was three miles away.
Late that afternoon he made it back totally exhausted and as far as i know he never had that problem again.
 

Jogeephus

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ROFLMAO :lol2: :lol2: Now that's good. But then again, maybe its not. Is that not cruelty to senior citizens or something? I'm sure we will find out shortly. And what about the fence? Who fixed it? And what about Mrs. Williams peas? Surely she didn't eat them did she? I mean you hear about food poisoning and all. Didn't somebody die a while back from that? Can't remember. Can't you add a teaspoon of chlorox to a gallon of water and that will sterilize stuff like this? Or will this kill the peas? I'm not sure. More I think about it I can see the dark side of this. Yep. Not funny at all. Matter of fact its horrific. Ya'll should be ashamed of yourselves. ;-)
Or maybe we all need to just lighten up.
 

curtis

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This a true story, i was there, it was about 1967, i was just a shirt tail kid. The man lived to be pretty old an never had that problem again. Years after that happened we would all be setting around having a cool one and old George would bring the subject up and we would all get a good laugh.
Back then we carried all kinds of stuff for doctoring folks. Turpentine , nitric acid (for burning off warts) alcohol, bleach, gun powder and a host of other stuff.
Like i said , this is a true story, old George's brother owns a farm down close to Jed Stivers place.
 

3waycross

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curtis":bgxyhkcq said:
This a true story, i was there, it was about 1967, i was just a shirt tail kid. The man lived to be pretty old an never had that problem again. Years after that happened we would all be setting around having a cool one and old George would bring the subject up and we would all get a good laugh.
Back then we carried all kinds of stuff for doctoring folks. Turpentine , nitric acid (for burning off warts) alcohol, bleach, gun powder and a host of other stuff.
Like i said , this is a true story, old George's brother owns a farm down close to Jed Stivers place.

My guess is that even if he did have a relapse he sure as he[[ wasn't gonna tell any of ya'll about it, as he most likely didn't want to be retreated.

BTW darned funny story true or not.

O-BTW Jo knock off the cruelty to cats :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: Peg might not be feelin all that well but I believe she's gonna kick yer a$$ over that one.
 

peg4x4

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OKokokok! I wasn't feeling too good and there wasn't anyone here to bite/shoot/hit with the hammer and Lucy the cat was sitting beside me trying her best to purr me into a better mood so I got a bit snappy....
However,while I was in school in Waco a guy brought in a dog he'd found that had been dumped-was covered with ticks----so he put turptine on them----peeled the skin off wherever he'd put it,so brought it to us.We managed to clean the mess up,dog got better,guy learned something .
Guy "treated" for hemmorods;I'd NEVER tell anybody anything was ever wrong with me if that was the treatment.
 

Jogeephus

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:tiphat: I thought something was wrong. I had a bad week too. Otherwise I'd have kept my pie hole shut. Hired a new guy who was "experienced". Had worked for three farmers I know. Didn't check his references. He tore the booms off my sprayer then he went on to break my hay rake in half. He no longer works for me and I again learned to check references. Life has been good of late. :lol2:
 

peg4x4

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I've got a CT scan tomorrow,so the fear is setting in--It's that time of the year when they find another form/type of cancer..Pretty much ran out of different types,but there's always the same thing in a different place. OH! Just realized I'm hijacking--sorry..
 

Jogeephus

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peg4x4":35pwvq0x said:
I've got a CT scan tomorrow,so the fear is setting in--It's that time of the year when they find another form/type of cancer..Pretty much ran out of different types,but there's always the same thing in a different place. OH! Just realized I'm hijacking--sorry..

Peg, you can hijack any of my threads whenever you want to. Enjoy it actually. Keeps things from getting boring.
 

peg4x4

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Do you think if I took a tablespoon of sugar with 2 drops of turpintine it'd cure what ails me? Thats what my Mom tole me they usta do..
 

Ryder

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I don't know that much about turpentine. But coal oil will cure just about anything. Patrciularly snake bite (take a good swig or two), or if you step on a rusty nail, or cut yourself with a choping axe splitting firewood (pour it on and wrap it up with a rag. The wound, not the axe.).
Only other treatment worth anything that I know of is castor oil. It can be used both internally and externally.
 

3waycross

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We used coal oil for colic on horses, at the racetrack. We would take a big spoonful and hol it up against their naval, the hair would suck it up. It seemed to work til the vet got there.
 

Lammie

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peg4x4":orw1oy35 said:
I've got a CT scan tomorrow,so the fear is setting in--It's that time of the year when they find another form/type of cancer..Pretty much ran out of different types,but there's always the same thing in a different place. OH! Just realized I'm hijacking--sorry..

Good luck with that. I hope everything is clear. I will say a prayer for you tonight. :heart:

I get the monitor off on Tuesday! Yeah!!! Stress test got postponed until the 19th. Dad's house closes on the 13th. Finally.
 

kenny thomas

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Good luck peg4x4. My dad is going through the same thing.
Can you buy coal oil nowdayS? Have not seen any in years. My mom thought it would cure anything. I can still remember how it tasted and it has been 45 years or more.
 

chrisy

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The story true or not was hilarious.

Peg hope all goes well today, thinking of you, saying a few prayers, take care love.
 

chrisy

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grannysoo":bdbrb86c said:
Hope everything goes well for you Peg.

And I like cats. They taste just like chicken.... :mrgreen:
Chicken????? I was told it tastes like Rabbit :( ....and I'm the biggest :heart: cat :heart: lover around, but not to eat.
 
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