Lost my son

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Boondocks, haven't been on the board for quite some time, just seeing this now. I am so, so sorry to hear of this tragedy. I will say a prayer for you and your husband, for strength and healing.
My heart goes out to you guys. I wish there were something I could do, to help ease the pain.
 
TennesseeTuxedo said:
I read this the first day you posted it and I had no words, here it is days later and I'm still at a loss.

My deepest sympathies is about the best I can do.

Thank you, TT. We too are at a loss. Going to pack up his apt 4 hrs away tomorrow. Gonna be hard.
(And if one more person tells me they know it's not the same, but when they lost their cat.....or their neighbor's cousin's kid died...I know they mean well but....).
 
boondocks said:
TennesseeTuxedo said:
I read this the first day you posted it and I had no words, here it is days later and I'm still at a loss.

My deepest sympathies is about the best I can do.

Thank you, TT. We too are at a loss. Going to pack up his apt 4 hrs away tomorrow. Gonna be hard.
(And if one more person tells me they know it's not the same, but when they lost their cat.....or their neighbor's cousin's kid died...I know they mean well but....).
Brutal. Raw. I just can't imagine and I am so, so sorry! Sending hugs :cry2:
 
boondocks said:
TennesseeTuxedo said:
I read this the first day you posted it and I had no words, here it is days later and I'm still at a loss.

My deepest sympathies is about the best I can do.

Thank you, TT. We too are at a loss. Going to pack up his apt 4 hrs away tomorrow. Gonna be hard.
(And if one more person tells me they know it's not the same, but when they lost their cat.....or their neighbor's cousin's kid died...I know they mean well but....).

Yep. When it comes to loss and grief, humanity in general really struggles with how to support and what to even say to the survivors. Its a strange phenomenon. Sometimes, just sitting, holding a hand or giving a hug is much more appropriate than saying a word. Hugs from Indiana mi Amiga!
 
I saw this tonight on FB and I'd like to pass it on to boondocks:

Grief never ends.....but it changes.
It's a passage, not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a
lack of faith....It is the price of love.
 
Chocolate Cow2 said:
I saw this tonight on FB and I'd like to pass it on to boondocks:

Grief never ends.....but it changes.
It's a passage, not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a
lack of faith....It is the price of love.
That's really nice chocolate cow, and I will add, "we don't mourn the body, but celebrate the life", those words meant a lot to me when I lost my father boondocks, Maybe there is some comfort there for you.
 
Thank you. Just got home tonight with his things. Out-of-body experience.I left one shirt hanging in his closet in his apt because I couldn't bear to see it empty. His grocery list on his desk did me in. Slippers on the floor, the book he was reading by the bed, some postcards he was getting ready to send friends from a recent trip (signing off "fair winds" to them...)...
 
I have four children under 12, i can't begin to imagine how hard this must have been for you. Be careful of post traumatic symptoms, they can sneak up on you and cause you to shut your world out to people around you. There are people out here to talk to if you ever need to.
 
Redgully said:
I have four children under 12, i can't begin to imagine how hard this must have been for you. Be careful of post traumatic symptoms, they can sneak up on you and cause you to shut your world out to people around you. There are people out here to talk to if you ever need to.

Thank you.
 
Thinking of you and your situation a lot these days, glad you're still standing.
My mother has been in the hospital for several months with a mental condition that causes her to not be lucid at all times, lot's of auditory hallucinations, doesn't know what's real and what isn't at all times. Last night I talked to her on the phone, and she was very lucid and aware. I took the time to tell her what a great mom she was to us kids growing up, and thanked her for all she did for us. From making the 1 hour trip each way to pick me up from wrestling practice several times a week for years, to all the little things that mean so much looking back. I'd been meaning to do that for years, but somehow never got around to it. Your situation has made me think a lot more about how precious our relationships with loved ones are.
 
Silver said:
Thinking of you and your situation a lot these days, glad you're still standing.
My mother has been in the hospital for several months with a mental condition that causes her to not be lucid at all times, lot's of auditory hallucinations, doesn't know what's real and what isn't at all times. Last night I talked to her on the phone, and she was very lucid and aware. I took the time to tell her what a great mom she was to us kids growing up, and thanked her for all she did for us. From making the 1 hour trip each way to pick me up from wrestling practice several times a week for years, to all the little things that mean so much looking back. I'd been meaning to do that for years, but somehow never got around to it. Your situation has made me think a lot more about how precious our relationships with loved ones are.

Silver, thank you for your message. Every little bit of good helps right now. Told my husband it feels like you're drowning and trying to build a life raft out of toothpicks. Gonna take a lot of toothpicks so we are appreciative of every kind word and thought.
Picked up his ashes at the funeral home today. Just surreal....someday I guess it will sink in....
 
Every once in awhile during the day I think of you and your husband. I don't know how you had the courage to clean out his place. I can't imagine a tougher day. I'm sorry.
 
Just wanted to let you all know I am still standing. (ish). It has been harder than I could have ever imagined. Feels like the light went out in the world. The enormity of it is overwhelming. Sorting through his clothes yesterday and today; they still have his scent. Putting them in the washer was just so hard. How do you do the last load of laundry you will ever do for your only child? (I had to wash them since I am having a quilt made for hubby from them).
My FIL was diagnosed with aggressive cancer yesterday; when it rains it pours...Anybody have a line on a time machine, pm me.
My best to all, I know there are many on here dealing with all sorts of troubles....be gentle with yourselves and your loved ones....
 
boondocks said:
Just wanted to let you all know I am still standing. (ish). It has been harder than I could have ever imagined. Feels like the light went out in the world. The enormity of it is overwhelming. Sorting through his clothes yesterday and today; they still have his scent. Putting them in the washer was just so hard. How do you do the last load of laundry you will ever do for your only child? (I had to wash them since I am having a quilt made for hubby from them).
My FIL was diagnosed with aggressive cancer yesterday; when it rains it pours...Anybody have a line on a time machine, pm me.
My best to all, I know there are many on here dealing with all sorts of troubles....be gentle with yourselves and your loved ones....

What you are doing is the only thing you can do at this time try to remember the good times with your son. Hope what you are doing will help you cope with your loss and let you move on. Good thoughts from me to you.
 
I don't have the answer Boondocks. Just remember that your son would want you to keep going and he would also want you to be happy and enjoy your life. That doesn't mean forgetting him in the slightest. And you won't be happy overnight. But he wouldn't want you to be sad. One day at a time. And remember the good things. My thoughts and prayers are still with you and your family.
 

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