Losing a child

[alftn]

NO , you do not. I could write ten thousand words here, most sentences would start with What If.... No , Never Frankie.

 

[courtois21]

Just "us" in Wisconsin
In answer to the question, Do you ever get over the loss of a child? The answer is a resounding-NO!!! But somehow because we all have to get up every day, even if we did not sleep-you plug along. We lost our 8 year old daughter sixteen years ago yesterday the 21st of Dec, 1993. Our life has will never be the same, I worked full time in the health care industry and after years of suffering with physical injuries from the accident and the emotional toll I just couldn't keep doing it anymore. I tried to even work part-time but could not put in the hours, finally had to file for social security because of permanent damage to my back and neck. And the physical pain is nothing compared to the "LOSS" which can and will never be replace. We have a son who is in the army and served in Iraq and I thought I would go crazy when he was over there. His unit was deployed again last year but he is now a recruiter so he did not have to go. I don't think I could live through it again. He is my only child now, NOT that you could ever replace one anyway. Without our faith I just don't know how we ever would have managed. We enjoyed the farm so much, that's why we are trying to find a job for my husband as a herdsman/ranch hand type of position. He worked union construction for years but it always invovles traveling some. We love the beef animals. One thing is, you are never alone-there is a lot of people out there grieving also. Not much to say that really helps-just say something-don't just keep on walking and say nothing. Support groups do help some.
This time of year only makes it that much worse!

 

[AngusLimoX]

Do you think anyone ever gets over the death of one of their children? It's so sad.

As a stable adult ( assumed ) define - "gets over"

Great Christmas theme.

 

[Oldtimer]

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/cadenceyounkin

Heres a website connection to a tragedy a local ranching family is currently experiencing...

 

[chrisy]

Just heard from my Cousin in West Virginia, that he lost his Daughter a few weeks back. So he wont be celerbrating Christmas this year, please say a pray for him and his family at this sad time.....I have a good idea how he is feeling right now, as I have said before it cuts your heart in half.
I have been to my Sons grave to put his Christmas wreath down and it still cuts when I stand there and think what should be, it has been 15 years now and no it is no better. I alway think it's the wrong way round your children should not go first. I'll be going over to the baby tomorrow as they are at different places, so another sad day ahead.

 

[MO_cows]

Chrisy, my heart goes out to you. What a sad duty. And Grubbie's song was a nice piece of music, it would be pleasant to listen to if you didn't know the full meaning. Don't know how you performed it so well without choking up. Prayers for everyone who has faced this tragedy. I gotta go now, I'm out of tissues.

 

[msscamp]

Do you think anyone ever gets over the death of one of their children? It's so sad.

No, they never get over it. They just learn to accept it and get on with life.

 

[peg4x4]

This may or may not be a good place to discuss this,but here goes anyhow--My youngest daughter is dieing-The chemo took care of the lymphoma but gave her lukemia. She hurtsevery day. She is tired. No,no more chemo,her choice. I told her I didn't like her choice at all,but did support her right to make it. Her last test showed she needs a transfusion,but she's not going to do it. She's 36..I'm going to check into some help to handle this,don't think I'll make it on my own..

You're right,not a fun topic for the season,but loss knows no timetable..

 

[3waycross]

This may or may not be a good place to discuss this,but here goes anyhow--My youngest daughter is dieing-The chemo took care of the lymphoma but gave her lukemia. She hurtsevery day. She is tired. No,no more chemo,her choice. I told her I didn't like her choice at all,but did support her right to make it. Her last test showed she needs a transfusion,but she's not going to do it. She's 36..I'm going to check into some help to handle this,don't think I'll make it on my own..

You're right,not a fun topic for the season,but loss knows no timetable..

Peg what do the Doctors say about the relationship between those 2 diseases. My old friend who died a couple of years ago had Leukemia and within days after he finished Chemo for the Leukemia he was diagnosed with Lymphoma. Somethings not right about that??????/

My symathies to you for the thing with your Daughter, hopefully one of these days the good lord will decide you have suffered enough.

 

[AngusLimoX]

This may or may not be a good place to discuss this,but here goes anyhow--My youngest daughter is dieing-The chemo took care of the lymphoma but gave her lukemia. She hurtsevery day. She is tired. No,no more chemo,her choice. I told her I didn't like her choice at all,but did support her right to make it. Her last test showed she needs a transfusion,but she's not going to do it. She's 36..I'm going to check into some help to handle this,don't think I'll make it on my own..

You're right,not a fun topic for the season,but loss knows no timetable..

Peg, the OP wasn't experiencing loss, just asking what I thought was a callously worded question, out of what appeared to me to be morbid curiousity.

You "get over" losing a game of checkers. You "get over" your team losing the Super Bowl.
To even suggest it is possible to "get over" the loss of a loved one, especially a child, borders on insult to the bereaved.

So sorry about your daughter Peg - I have experienced similar situations with several members of my family in the last few years. I think you are right in supporting her in her decisions. I don't believe in discussing family matters ( but respect the decision of those that do) on the internet, but the death with dignity situation has been part of my family situation recently. I am glad they had an opportunity to pass on they way they wanted, and often at home, as they wished.

You and your daughter are in our prayers, and seeking assistance dealing with your circumstances is an excellent idea.

 

[peg4x4]

I have no one to talk about this with-or no one close--Oldest daughter is a junkie,son will not talk about it. I've outlived most of my friends. There is noone to have a heart to heart with,so will have to look for a counsler..
sorry,sometimes things spill over..

 

[MO_cows]

So, so sorry Peg. Getting some counseling sounds like a good idea. And if it helps you to "talk" about it here, you go right ahead.

 

[chrisy]

I have no one to talk about this with-or no one close--Oldest daughter is a junkie,son will not talk about it. I've outlived most of my friends. There is noone to have a heart to heart with,so will have to look for a counsler..
sorry,sometimes things spill over..

Peg never be sorry, if it helps you to write things down and get answers back you go a head and do so. My Son died of Acute Lymphoblastic leukemia. They told us if he had been a young child before the age of 12 it is the easiest leukemia to treat and be free from, but once past teenage years it is the bisggest killer. He didn't want to be resuscitated if he was to pass, and unfortunatly that is what happened, and we had to go along with his wishes, none of my family would talk about it, but I was fortunate that I had a very good friend who would let me cry on her shoulder. In your case I can see a counselor being a good idea. I feel for you and will keep you both in my prayers...Take care....Chris.

 

[Alice]

Hugs to you dear brave Peg...to you and your very brave daughter. You both are among my heroes.

Alice