Looking for Some Answers...

[Crowderfarms]

My Wife started teaching school this past year, and after I get in from work we always catch up on each others day while she's cooking Supper.

Some of the stories she tells me about what's going on in her young students lives, really throws me for a loop. Mom's in Jail, Dad's in Jail, Both are in Jail. Grandma's and Grandpa's raising these young uns' Aunts, Uncles having custody.The mental and physical abuse these kids endure, the uncertainty about not when they'll be picked up from School but IF someone will show up. It's a crying shame these kids aren't getting their just right to grow up in a normal environment, with loving, caring Parents/Parent.This is a Country School, not the inner city. What is happening? where has everything gone wrong? I went to Elementary School in the very late 60's and early 70's, and dont remember a single case of anyone being raised or living without their Mom and dad, unless there had been a Divorce involved, and that was a rarity.What are we going to do as far as having any kind of a future when we get old? Seems families are disentegrating.Guess my Wife and I are doing something right...Raising our kids straight laced and respectful, and staying together, as a Family.The way we were brought up.

Any Thoughts?

 

[Wewild]

Drugs.

Meth isn't an inner city drug. Around here it is a large part of the problem you described.

I hate it is the way it is. I love teachers. I wish he the best.

 

[I luv herfrds]

It is many different things causing this break down in families, everything from drugs to alcohol to lack of religion. It is no one direct thing.
The biggest thing I see is the lack of parenting.
No one is home to teach them right from wrong nor whack their butts when they need it.
sad situation Crowder, just don't know what to tell you.

 

[Wewild]

The biggest thing I see is the lack of parenting.

Good post. There is usually missed placed reasons for that.

 

[curtis]

Mr, Crowder, i don't have the answers, we have the same problems here. Case in point, a neighbor of mind has been raising their nephew all his life. His mother ran off and left him when he was just a baby, his father is locked up doing 20 years for drugs. He's 14 years old now and helps me a lot , i do everything i can to keep him on the right tract. When i go to the sale barn he always helps me load up and goes with me. I'm taking him to the cattlemen's association meeting tomorrow night. I would hate to see this kid fall on his face an go down the wrong road. The problem i see is sorry parents and the kids have to pay the price.

 

[I luv herfrds]

Too many reasons for that Wewild. The biggest being drugs, alcohol and not caring are just a few.
No kidding meth is not a city problem, have you seen the ads against meth that were shot here in Montana? Enough to make you sick and scare you half to death. My son is always saying,"Not even once."

 

[Wewild]

Too many reasons for that Wewild. The biggest being drugs, alcohol and not caring are just a few.
No kidding meth is not a city problem, have you seen the ads against meth that were shot here in Montana? Enough to make you sick and scare you half to death. My son is always saying,"Not even once."

We had a big article in the paper here. It seem we may be the meth capital of the world..... who believes the papers anyway.

You heard of speed bumps? Or the Drug resistant Staph infections that are spread by the Meth users?

It is in geogphic areas here that started back with lower income and poorer education levels.

You ever got lice?

 

[Lammie]

Gee, Crowder. I don't know. I have been pondering these same things since I went to work at the school. I just don't know how much leadership is out there. I don't know if kids have a mentor they can look up to. Sometimes they do, and the kid just screws up, but that's always happened and always will. But there's no east answer. We can blame drugs or television or the internet, or working/single mothers. (I personally get a burr under my saddle when I hear that one. I was a single mother and my kids are fine, thanks.) There's no pat answer there.

Kids are amazingly resilient and they can get over a lot of things. Bad stuff that you would never think they could overcome. But what a kid sees everyday in his or her life has to be a determining factor in how he or she will view life. Lots of times, parents are just working so hard trying to keep it together that they lose track of their kids.

There is no one answer, no "silver bullet". People like you and I and your wife, just have to be out there demonstrating that there are caring adults out there. There are a lot of good kids out there. Kids you think are the freakiest can be the nicest and most respectful. You just have to give them a chance. It is amazing what just a few words a day can do to impact the life of a kid.

All isn't lost.

 

[hillsdown]

OK I am going to be blunt and to the point.Some people should never be allowed to procreate.There is a saying that the dumber you are the more kids you have, and sorry if that hurts your feelings but in this day and age it is true.

Why is it the dead beats and Ho's are allowed to have 10 kids running around unaccounted for yet many educated God fearing people are childless do to circumstances and have to pay ten to twenty thousand dollars to do in vitro or adopt.

I am really sick of Ho's getting pregnant and pricks not being able to rubber up.

This may get deleted but WGAS.

 

[Crowderfarms]

I agree that a lot has to do with Dope and Alcohol.I've seen people put a gallon of Milk, or a loaf of Bread back up on a shelf in a store, because they'd rather have a 12 pack or a pack of smokes,and were short on $ at the check out line than have something for their kids.

Lammie, your heart goes out to these little "victims', but there's only so much you can do.We've taken pound after pound of Pork and Beef to people that are hungry or have extenuating circumstances going on.Most have been school related "aquaintances".

Hillsdown I agree with you.Some ought to be spayed and neutered before they multiply.You cant make Chicken Salad out of Chicken crap.

 

[Jogeephus]

The other day we cut a horse that belonged to a friend of mine. He is a hard working fella but he is dirt poor and why in heavens name he got a horse I have no idea. Of course, he has a cell phone, drinks beer every day after work and smokes. He also has 7 children. Only claims 5 and is on his third wife/livein. What gets me the most, is the way he cusses in front of his two year old son who idolizes him. Just ain't right to talk that way in front of a child - or anybody for that matter. Anyway, while cutting the horse I suggested cutting him while we were at it. Couple people thought it was funny but I really wasn't joking. I sincerely believe society would benefit had we done so.

 

[Paul54]

I don't know the answer, but the problem is widespread. I think most everyone knows at least one family that has these problems. Drugs and alcohol, in and out of jail. Just not a good enviroment to raise children.

 

[Joy of Texas]

It is a sad situation and I do believe it is wide spread. Here we have more family's so messed up on drugs and alcohol. Grandma's and grandpa's trying to do their best. But I think alot of these kids are so damaged there is no hope for them. They are raised with no structure or morals.
For the people that don't believe in spankings. This is the out come.Don't punish the child and you cannot control them later in life. Then you can set back and wonder what's wrong with them.
I saw this kid the other night. First time in awhile. He said hi how are you? I said good,where have you been ? In jail,for stealing.I swear,his grandparents have really tried ,and they are good people.

 

[hillrancher]

OK I am going to be blunt and to the point.Some people should never be allowed to procreate.There is a saying that the dumber you are the more kids you have, and sorry if that hurts your feelings but in this day and age it is true.

Why is it the dead beats and Ho's are allowed to have 10 kids running around unaccounted for yet many educated God fearing people are childless do to circumstances and have to pay ten to twenty thousand dollars to do in vitro or adopt.

I agree with you, I would like to add one more thing. It should be mandatory for every person to serve 2 years for their country.

 

[hrbelgians]

Some might hammer me for this, however my weee little opinion is....
It all started when women turned into working men away from home.

 

[Lammie]

Some might hammer me for this, however my weee little opinion is....
It all started when women turned into working men away from home.

Well, I really that that is exactly what the problem is NOT. If more people would wake up and decide to get up off their fat a$$es and go to work, maybe this would not happen so much.

I was a single mom. I get about 500 a month in child support. What was I supposed to do? Sit back and apply for welfare because "good moms" stay at home? Is that really the answer to this problem?

I didn't turn into a man. I turned into a hard working, responsible, tax paying, non welfare receiving woman with two sons, one of whom is in college now. The other is a 13 year old honor student. I also bought my own home so that my sons would have a good place to live. Don't judge.

So stuff it. Have a nice day.

 

[Lammie]

I was going to say, before I got mad... That kids today, people today, lack connections. I think this really is the root of the problem. No community support, no church, no talking to the neighbors. People don't help each other like they used to. When I was single, we knew the neighbors. If something went wrong, my kids could to run to them. If they needed us, we were there. We lack connections anymore. We are our own private worlds. That isolation isn't good.

We can't prevent certain people from having kids. That is called eugenics. Hitler believed in that.

 

[dun]

I was going to say, before I got mad... That kids today, people today, lack connections. I think this really is the root of the problem. No community support, no church, no talking to the neighbors. People don't help each other like they used to. When I was single, my kids knew the neighbors. If something went wrong, they could to run to them. If they neede us, we were there. We lack connections anymore. We are our own private worlds. That isolation isn't good.

You need to move to someplace else. There are a lot of places that still have the sense of community and helping others, even strangers.
In the winter of 64-65 I passed though this area heading to chicago from california. Got stuck in an ice storm while just passing through. People treated us, the guy that was traveling with me, as if we were long lost friends, took us in for the night till the roads were clear. That's part of the reason, and a big part, of why we moved here. I'm glad to say that it hasn;t changed all that much since then. In 68 I was travleing from Virginia to california and got the fluor something near Ft. Smith AR. Stopped at a motel and didn;t wake up for 3 days. The folks that ran the place had sat with me and took care of me the whole time. I would hazard a guess that those same kinds of people are in that area today.
The point is, there are good folks around, most times you don;t have to look for them they just are there if you need them. Gender, color, social status, it doesn;t matter, there are good folks most everywhere, you just have to be open to them.

 

[Calman]

I was going to say, before I got mad... That kids today, people today, lack connections. I think this really is the root of the problem. No community support, no church, no talking to the neighbors. People don't help each other like they used to. When I was single, my kids knew the neighbors. If something went wrong, they could to run to them. If they neede us, we were there. We lack connections anymore. We are our own private worlds. That isolation isn't good.

You need to move to someplace else. There are a lot of places that still have the sense of community and helping others, even strangers.
In the winter of 64-65 I passed though this area heading to chicago from california. Got stuck in an ice storm while just passing through. People treated us, the guy that was traveling with me, as if we were long lost friends, took us in for the night till the roads were clear. That's part of the reason, and a big part, of why we moved here. I'm glad to say that it hasn;t changed all that much since then. In 68 I was travleing from Virginia to california and got the fluor something near Ft. Smith AR. Stopped at a motel and didn;t wake up for 3 days. The folks that ran the place had sat with me and took care of me the whole time. I would hazard a guess that those same kinds of people are in that area today.
The point is, there are good folks around, most times you don;t have to look for them they just are there if you need them. Gender, color, social status, it doesn;t matter, there are good folks most everywhere, you just have to be open to them.

There's still good people in about every part of our country. It boils down to the kind of person you are if ya find them or not.

Cal

 

[backhoeboogie]

Drugs.

Meth isn't an inner city drug. Around here it is a large part of the problem you described.

I hate it is the way it is. I love teachers. I wish he the best.

Wewild nailed it.

Crowder, really you don't want to know. I had a crash course in meth and the effects thereof. It will rip your heart right out. Probably ripping your wife's heart out now as she sees the effects in the kids.

6 people on my floor at work are all raising grandchildren. It is like a little support group. They are all good folks.

To those of you who claim I wasn't a "proper parent" or that I didn't attend church or that I didn't get involved in my children's lives, I am not going to argue with you. There is already a long line of folks in my community who will. They know me and they watched me raise my children. I simply pray you don't have one come home from college a total wreck. You are going to have some hard words to eat.