"Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."

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OldTex

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ONE

Recently, when I went to McDonald's, I saw on the menu
that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken
McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager
at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have

six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So
I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order

six?"
"That's right."So I shook my head and ordered six

McNuggets.

TWO

I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a
few items and the lady behind me put her things on the
belt close to mine. I picked up one of those
"dividers" that they keep by the cash register and

placed it between our things so they wouldn't get

mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my

items, she picked up the "divider," looking it all

over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not

finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how

much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I

don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I

paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to

what had just happened.

THREE



A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her

floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I

inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was

shopping on the Internet and they kept asking

for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM

"thing"



FOUR



I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside

her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She

replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery
to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my

car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant

convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm,too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing
it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I

replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check

about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too

swift. One day she was typing and turned to a

secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.

What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the

secretary told her. With that, the intern took her
last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the
photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX

I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large

motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the

vehicle was in dire need of repair and the

whole thing generally looked like an extra in

"Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He

told me that the driver had set the "cruise control"

and then went in the back to make a sandwich.



SEVEN



My neighbor works in the operations department in the

central office of a large bank. Employees in the field

call him when they have problems with their computers.

One night he got a call from a woman in one of the

Branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke

coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have

a fire downtown?"

EIGHT
Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by

placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it

with wires to a photocopy machine.

The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and

police pressed the copy button each time they thought

the suspect wasn't telling the truth.

Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect

confessed.

NINE



A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher

if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room,

the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells

her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine.

The mother says, "I just gave him some ant killer"

...Dispatcher: RUSH him in to emergency!



"Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."
 

frenchie

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
greenpasture78 said:
stupid people should never be parents!

Muldoon.............I am going to bite my tongue on this one!!




Bite down real hard :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

greenpasture78

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M,
Do anything about these latest (indirect) attacks on me AGAIN? Or do I get a strike for complaining about these bullies?
 

frenchie

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G.P 78........Do anything about these latest (indirect) attacks on me AGAIN? Or do I get a strike for complaining about these bullies

I don,t see any bullies.....................
 

Callie

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greenpasture78":2mxr52eq said:
M,
Do anything about these latest (indirect) attacks on me AGAIN? Or do I get a strike for complaining about these bullies?
I've tried to figure out what this sentence means. Probably a typo. Are you saying you want someone to do something about a perceived attack on you? Though why you think it was an attack on you is beyond comprehension.
 

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