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Liberals vs Conservatives

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la4angus

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LIBERALS and CONSERVATIVES

The division of the human family into its two distinct branches occurred some 10,000 years ago, a few hundred years after the flood. Humans coexisted as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. In the pivotal event of societal evolution, beer was invented. This epochal innovation was both the foundation of modern civilization and the occasion of the great bifurcation of humanity into its two distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain, and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle or aluminum can had yet been invented, so it was necessary to stick pretty close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days killing animals to barbeque at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of the conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting, learned how to live off conservatives by showing up for the BBQs every night and doing women's work like sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the liberal movement. Later, some of the liberals actually became women.

Liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, invention of group therapy and democratic voting to see how to divide the beer and meat that the conservatives provided. Women were not interested in democracy at that time because most of them were still women back then, and the conservatives fed them.

Conservatives are symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern Liberals like imported beer (they add lime), but most prefer white wine or foreign water in a bottle. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and french food are on liberal menus. Their women have more testosterone than the men. Liberals like deviant sex and want others to like it too. Their first successful city governments were Sodom and Gomorrah.

Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, and group therapists are Liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule in baseball because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat, and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumber jacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, soldiers, athletes, and generally anyone who works productively outside government. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals do not produce anything. They like to "govern" the producers and decide what is to be done with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals just stayed in Europe when conservatives were coming to America.

Conservatives have principles, believe in a Creator, and the rule of law. They practice charity and give to the poor, normally through their churches. When in doubt on an issue, they check both the Bible and the Constitution, which they use as a constant reference in a changing world. They believe in the concept of truth.

Liberals do not have principles, except for their dedication to stealing production of conservatives and undermining principled references such as the Bible and Constitution. They are never in doubt on an issue because they always do whatever is best for them without regard to others. They have no standard of reference. Liberals do not give to charity. They cultivate the poor like a cat cultivates a field of mice. They use the poor as voters and give them a portion of stolen tax money which they vote away from conservatives.

Conservatives believe in self defense, both at home and abroad. They own guns and use them to discourage liberals and other common criminals. They provide guns to the armed forces to discourage foreign liberals and other foreign criminals.

Liberals do not believe in conservative self defense. They disarm conservatives, and then attack them with impunity by liberal armies with guns. King George, Hitler and Stalin were all liberals who abandoned the rule of Law, had no principles except their own self indulgence, and attempted to tax and govern conservatives. Liberals believe in BIG government. They think the United Nations is the ultimate answer.

Conservatives believe in the rule of law and when sitting on juries, convict common criminals and acquit fellow conservatives who have been charged by liberals. When serving in the armed forces, they shoot liberals from other countries who want to govern our country. Conservatives know the difference between a common-sense law and a bone-headed statute passed by some liberal from Massachusetts. When sitting on juries, they do not enforce bone-headed statutes, and don't explain their reasons.

Liberals only believe in whatever laws are appealing to them, such as the privilege of making a living by taxing conservatives. When sitting on juries, liberals convict producers and acquit liberals and other common criminals. Modern Judges are all liberals as they do not produce anything except chaos, and are paid with confiscated tax money. They consider it against the law to reference any source of law such as the Bible or Constitution. Like other liberals, they just make it up as they go and do what is best for them. Judge Roy Bean is their model.

The American cowboy, of course, is your basic, full-bore Conservative. A hundred years ago, an Englishman visiting Texas was attempting to find the owner of a huge cattle ranch. He rode up to one of the ranch hands, and inquired, "Pardon me, but could you perhaps tell me where I might locate your master?" To which the cowboy replied, "That sumbitch ain't been born yet".

So, what'll it be? Wine or Beer? Domestic or Imported?
 

D.R. Cattle

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Disagree on one point. I'm about as Conservative as they get but I like Corona. I don't use the lime though. No thanks on the wine.
 
A

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You all are about the biggest bunch of dumb shits I have ever heard. Your sterotype make you as small as your brain. There are many kinds of people in this world and and have always thought there was room Here In the good old U.S.A. for all of them.... I been around dumb ass red necks my whole life, never knew what to call them, I do now.... conservatives ....ALF
 

la4angus

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Alf":1atm9wp7 said:
You all are about the biggest bunch of dumb be nice I have ever heard. Your sterotype make you as small as your brain. There are many kinds of people in this world and and have always thought there was room Here In the good old U.S.A. for all of them.... I been around dumb ass red necks my whole life, never knew what to call them, I do now.... conservatives ....ALF
Alf
I know now what to call you. A dumb billary clinton John Fairy mad cow sucking sob.
If you think John Fairy will help you go to it, buit don't expect to get any agreement on this board except for a couple of Fairy lovers.
You are as phony as billary clinton and as full of ----as a thankgiving turkey which ain't worth a s--t either.
You sound like a damn liberal. Look for everyone to lookout for you because you will be hiding in the bushes so they dont find you. But you know what. They will and you will be a dead S O B.

It is gutless wonders like you that make me sick. Even worse than a McDonalds piece of s--T. But that may be what you live on. That and Moonshine.
If you don't like it reply and we will get a good and interesting conversation going. If not hide in your hole like saddam the scum bag did.
 

eric

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LA4, you seem to be really good at name calling, but somehow you never seem to have any substance to your posts! You scream and cuss and blame everyone else for your problems, but never seem to offer any solutions.
Screaming, cussing and belittling strangers doesn't make you appear very bright, but it really is getting kinda annoying! Any chance of you backing up anything you say with facts? It appears that now your big kick is against McDonalds, an American owned company which employs many thousands of hard working people, and a whole lot of high school kids get their first jobs there. If you dont like their food, then thats o k , but it sounds like you have a personal issue with them, and is a forum really the place you expect to resolve any issues you have with them?

Nothing personal, but you sound like an angry, bitter old man, and isn't life too short to only see things from one perspective?

There, I am off my soapbox now, so cuss me out and call me names, because, unlike yourself, I believe you are entitled to your own opinion, but I just dont have to agree with it!
 

eric

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la4angus":bv45ezsv said:
Alf":bv45ezsv said:
You all are about the biggest bunch of dumb be nice I have ever heard. Your sterotype make you as small as your brain. There are many kinds of people in this world and and have always thought there was room Here In the good old U.S.A. for all of them.... I been around dumb ass red necks my whole life, never knew what to call them, I do now.... conservatives ....ALF
Alf
I know now what to call you. A dumb billary clinton John Fairy mad cow sucking sob.
If you think John Fairy will help you go to it, buit don't expect to get any agreement on this board except for a couple of Fairy lovers.
You are as phony as billary clinton and as full of ----as a thankgiving turkey which ain't worth a s--t either.
You sound like a damn liberal. Look for everyone to lookout for you because you will be hiding in the bushes so they dont find you. But you know what. They will and you will be a dead S O B.

It is gutless wonders like you that make me sick. Even worse than a McDonalds piece of s--T. But that may be what you live on. That and Moonshine.
If you don't like it reply and we will get a good and interesting conversation going. If not hide in your hole like saddam the scum bag did.


wow, that has to be some kind of a record, doesn't it?

His posts used to be funny when he attacked us, but now it's just sad!
 
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