Campground Cattle
Well-known member
Letter Of Appreciation.
To My Friends
Thanks to all my friends who have sent me such important emails in
2004!
It's so wonderful that you included me in your quest to inform!
Because of all of you:
I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good for
removing
toilet stains.
I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected
with AIDS.
I smell awful, but thank goodness I stopped using deodorants because
they
cause cancer.
I don't leave my car in any parking lot even though I sometimes have
to
walk about seven blocks, for fear that someone might drug me with a
perfume sample and then try to rob me.
I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they will ask me to
dial
a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to
Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogen they
contain
may turn me gay.
I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing
more
than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a
lab so that places like McDonald's can sell their Big Macs.
I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get
sick from the rat feces and urine.
When I go to parties, I now don't mix with anybody, for fear that
someone
will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
I donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. That poor sick
girl
that was about to die in the hospital.. Funny thing, she never seems to
get any older.
I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made, expecting the $15,000
that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in
their special email program.
It's weird, though, that my new free cell phone never arrived, and
neither
did the passes for my paid vacation to Disneyland.
But I am positive that all this is because of the chain I broke or
forgot
to follow and I got a curse from hell.
IMPORTANT NOTE:
If you don't send this email to at least 1200 people in the next ten
seconds, a bird will crap on you today at 7:00 PM. And I'm not kidding!
To My Friends
Thanks to all my friends who have sent me such important emails in
2004!
It's so wonderful that you included me in your quest to inform!
Because of all of you:
I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good for
removing
toilet stains.
I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected
with AIDS.
I smell awful, but thank goodness I stopped using deodorants because
they
cause cancer.
I don't leave my car in any parking lot even though I sometimes have
to
walk about seven blocks, for fear that someone might drug me with a
perfume sample and then try to rob me.
I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they will ask me to
dial
a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to
Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogen they
contain
may turn me gay.
I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing
more
than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a
lab so that places like McDonald's can sell their Big Macs.
I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get
sick from the rat feces and urine.
When I go to parties, I now don't mix with anybody, for fear that
someone
will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
I donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. That poor sick
girl
that was about to die in the hospital.. Funny thing, she never seems to
get any older.
I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made, expecting the $15,000
that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in
their special email program.
It's weird, though, that my new free cell phone never arrived, and
neither
did the passes for my paid vacation to Disneyland.
But I am positive that all this is because of the chain I broke or
forgot
to follow and I got a curse from hell.
IMPORTANT NOTE:
If you don't send this email to at least 1200 people in the next ten
seconds, a bird will crap on you today at 7:00 PM. And I'm not kidding!
