John Kerry's resume

[certherfbeef]

JOB APPLICATION
> >
> > NAME: John Kerry
> >
> > RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including Washington, DC, worth
multi-millions.
> >
> > EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
> >
> >
> > Law Enforcement. I voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and
defense
> bill
> > in my career as a US Senator. I ordered Boston to remove a fire
hydrant
> > which I considered unsightly, in front of my mansion, thereby
endangering
> > my
> > neighbors in the event of fire.
> >
> > MILITARY:
> > I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the
military
> and
> > service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor). I then
> > returned
> > to the US, joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted
returning
> > Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby
killers.&n
> > bsp; I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Or
did
I?
> > My book; Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier shows
how I
> > truly
> > feel about the military. I deplore the military!
> >
> > COLLEGE:
> > I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my
> > counterpart
> > George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to
> Harvard
> > nor graduate with an M.B.A
> >
> > PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
> > I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no
real
> > world experience except that of a giggilo, by marrying rich women
and
> > running HJ Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa.
> >
> > ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
> > As a US Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting
record,
> > exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have
consistently
> failed
> > to support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus
gutting
> our
> > country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the Iraq
War,
now
> > I
> > am against it and ref use to admit that I voted for it. I voted
for
every
> > liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help this country
but I
> > intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected.
> >
> > My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that
he
will
> > never catch up. I make no or little charitable contributions and
have
> > never
> > agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in MA, despite family
wealth in
> > excess of $700 million.
> >
> > I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in
places
> > like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the
cheaper
> cost
> > of labor in those Countries, although I Blame George Bush for
sending
all
> > of
> > the jobs out of Country.
> >
> > Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted
Kennedy
> > and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it
might
> > spoil
> > our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts.
> >
> > RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
> >
> > None.
> >
> > PERSONAL
> >
> > I r ide a Serotta Bike.
> >
> > My Gulfstream V Jet I call The Flying Squirrel.
> >
> > I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the
"Scarmouche".
> >
> > I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real
culture.
> >
> > I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket
summer
> > mansion, though I am against large polluting inefficient vehicles
and
> blame
> > George Bush for the energy problems.
> >
> > PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004
> >

 

[la4angus]

How true, certherfbeef.

 

[birdog]

preach on brother. I get so sick and tired of those liberal, pinko, commy bast*&%#, that I could puke. I could get on my soapbox about this topic, but it would look like a novel when I finished typing.