Jeff Foxworthy on Missouri

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dun

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>
>
>
> If your local Dairy Queen/ Tasty Freeze is closed
> from November through March, you might live in Missouri.
>
> If someone in a store offers you assistance & they don't work
> there, you might live in Missouri.
>
> If your dad's sun tan stops at a line curving around the middle of
> his forehead, you might live in Missouri.
>
> If you have ever worn shorts and a coat at the same time,
> you might live in Missouri.
>
> If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
> you might live in Missouri.
>
> If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation
> with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in
> Missouri.


> YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE MISSOURIAN WHEN:
>
> 1. Vacation means going east or west on I-44 for
> the weekend but you never leave the state.
> 2. You measure distance in ½ days.
> 3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
> 4. You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and back again..
> 5. You've seen the horns cut off a road killed deer as you pass by.
> 6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events including
> weddings.
> 7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave
> both doors unlocked.
> 8. You carry jumper cables in your car and know how to use them..
> 9. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit or
> go with a bathing suit, depending on the temperature.
> 10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
> with snow.
> 11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter,
> road construction, & It's Hot.
> 12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to
> a cedar tree..
> 13. "Down south" means the boot heel of Missouri .
> 14. A brat is something you eat.
> 15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn.
> 16. You go out to a tailgate party every Friday.
> 17. You have more miles on your 4 wheeler than your car.
> 18. You carry a chain in case you get stuck.
> 19. You know the difference between corn and soy beans at a glance.
> 20. The #1 reason you are from Missouri is because you know that
> East St. Louis is not in Missouri .
> 21. A "hill" is any landmass higher than 20 feet above sea level..
> 22.. You meet a buddy on the road, stop in the middle of the road,
> talk for an hour and no one passes by.
> 23.. You don't believe it until you see it.
> 24. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to
> all your friends
 

Lammie

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I've been using the heat and a/c in the portable here forever. Heat in the morning, air in the afternoon.
 
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dun

dun

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cfpinz":2nw9xchd said:
dun":2nw9xchd said:
>
>

> 15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn.

How come we didn't get an invite?
None of my neighbors are rich enough to build any new polebarns
 
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dun

dun

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cfpinz":39eta1ca said:
I was referring to your new hay barn!

You were invited but you never showed up. I figured it wasn;t up to the rich VA standards.
 

cfpinz

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dun":25jb1784 said:
cfpinz":25jb1784 said:
I was referring to your new hay barn!

You were invited but you never showed up. I figured it wasn;t up to the rich VA standards.

You must have sent the invite thru Pony Express, hasn't made it here yet. I'd be tickled with that hay shed, beats the snot out of my old barns and tarps.
 

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