Important info on the stimulus payment

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larryshoat

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This year taxpayers will receive an economic stimulus payment, This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers .

Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen .

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that the economy of China?

A. Shut up!

Some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart the money will go to China.

If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer it will go to India.

If you purchase fruit and vegtables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala .

If you buy a car it will go to Japan .

If you buy worthless crap it will go to Taiwan.

And none of it will help the American ecoconmy. We need to keep that money in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on domestic beer, hookers or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US .
 

Jogeephus

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I've been wanting a tattoo. Now I got a perfectly sound reason to do so. What do you think $20 will get me?
 

john250

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Jogeephus":21hdrm2i said:
I've been wanting a tattoo. Now I got a perfectly sound reason to do so. What do you think $20 will get me?

No self respecting artist is going to tattoo your white arse for less than 1500. Unless you ask for "Obama '08". Then they'll probably do it for free :lol2:
 

Jogeephus

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john250":3lqnyk63 said:
Jogeephus":3lqnyk63 said:
I've been wanting a tattoo. Now I got a perfectly sound reason to do so. What do you think $20 will get me?

No self respecting artist is going to tattoo your white arse for less than 1500. Unless you ask for "Obama '08". Then they'll probably do it for free :lol2:

:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: You're so right. So what are my other $20 options?
 
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larryshoat

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You could be like the guy on TV that ran out of money for his tattoo, instead of I love Donna, he only had enough money to spell I love Don .

Larry
 

Jogeephus

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larryshoat":14zoquc2 said:
You could be like the guy on TV that ran out of money for his tattoo, instead of I love Donna, he only had enough money to spell I love Don .

Larry

:lol2: :lol2: Yeah I saw that one and boy was his girlfriend upset. On a side note I heard that the tatoo removal business was one of the fastest growing businesses in the country.
 

john250

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Sorry dude. $20 is gonna get you zero ink. You want the "artist" to wear a fresh set of gloves, don't you?
If you can wait, I'm pretty sure "tattoo enhancement" will be part of the medical insurance we're all going to get. Then you can get that mural across your chest. :welcome:
 

Jogeephus

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How bout one of those body piercings. I was always kinda partial to the nose thing with the chain running to my ear. Kinda like a bridle but in gold colored tin. If I sit down like a mule who has had enough - which I now feel I am - maybe I can get more money and get one from each ear. It would be appropriate doncha think?!
 
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larryshoat

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Jogeephus":36bco1ww said:
larryshoat":36bco1ww said:
You could be like the guy on TV that ran out of money for his tattoo, instead of I love Donna, he only had enough money to spell I love Don .

Larry

:lol2: :lol2: Yeah I saw that one and boy was his girlfriend upset. On a side note I heard that the tatoo removal business was one of the fastest growing businesses in the country.

I'm sure it is, when this fad is over, the person that can effectively remove tattoos will make a fortune . See Jogee, there is a great idea for a business that would do well .

Larry
 

Lammie

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Jogeephus":38utd0z6 said:
How bout one of those body piercings. I was always kinda partial to the nose thing with the chain running to my ear. Kinda like a bridle but in gold colored tin. If I sit down like a mule who has had enough - which I now feel I am - maybe I can get more money and get one from each ear. It would be appropriate doncha think?!

Reminds me of two students at the school. They were at walmart and this lady approached them and said she'd pierce their tongues for five bucks each. In the parking lot... Needless to say, the both missed school with their infections.

That's a good way to get Hep B.

So, Jo, look for the lady outside of Walmart. You might get all kinds of stuff pierced for your twenty bucks. For what it is worth, I had my navel pierced ten years ago and it cost more then twenty bucks then.

Girls night out is not necessarily a good thing... :oops:
 

Calman

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I recieved a letter saying I would get $250 dollars added to my acct from the commander in chief.
(the social security adm.)I think I will put it to use the way he expects me too. I been putting back a little at a time a few nickles to buy this gun i've been wanting.I can not think of a better way to put this money back in the economy than to use it to go ahead and purchace this gun. After all I think he would be happy for me to do so.

What do ya'll think,good thoughts or not? :lol: :lol:

Cal
 

Ryder

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Calman":3g2iws4f said:
I recieved a letter saying I would get $250 dollars added to my acct from the commander in chief.
(the social security adm.)I think I will put it to use the way he expects me too. I been putting back a little at a time a few nickles to buy this gun i've been wanting.I can not think of a better way to put this money back in the economy than to use it to go ahead and purchace this gun. After all I think he would be happy for me to do so.

What do ya'll think,good thoughts or not? :lol: :lol:

Cal
I don't know. You need to comparison shop to see where you can get the best deal for your money
For instance, the original post mentioned hookers as something you can spend your money on. Do you know what hookers are going for these days?
 

jw

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Ryder":3d4b6xdu said:
For instance, the original post mentioned hookers as something you can spend your money on. Do you know what hookers are going for these days?

Jogeephus":3d4b6xdu said:
A gun is something you can bring home so its gotta be a good thing.

I would think it would be a safe bet if you bought a hooker you could bring something home, also! :cry2:
 

FarmGirl10

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jw":ljeybgl7 said:
Ryder":ljeybgl7 said:
For instance, the original post mentioned hookers as something you can spend your money on. Do you know what hookers are going for these days?

Jogeephus":ljeybgl7 said:
A gun is something you can bring home so its gotta be a good thing.

I would think it would be a safe bet if you bought a hooker you could bring something home, also! :cry2:
:lol: Yes, but what you'd be bring home wouldn't be useful.
 

jw

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FarmGirl10":2hguxym9 said:
jw":2hguxym9 said:
Ryder":2hguxym9 said:
For instance, the original post mentioned hookers as something you can spend your money on. Do you know what hookers are going for these days?

Jogeephus":2hguxym9 said:
A gun is something you can bring home so its gotta be a good thing.

I would think it would be a safe bet if you bought a hooker you could bring something home, also! :cry2:
:lol: Yes, but what you'd be bring home wouldn't be useful.

You are correct, but it would last a good long time.
 

Calman

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[/quote]
:lol: Yes, but what you'd be bring home wouldn't be useful.[/quote]

You are correct, but it would last a good long time.[/quote]

You could also put it back to the public. (probably not the economy though)

Cal
 

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